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DrFee
DrFee, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 437
Experience:  I help people overcome anxiety and enjoy life again.
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Hi there, i need help in picking out Therapy. I have had a

Resolved Question:

Hi there, i need help in picking out Therapy. I have had a hell of a past few months and really, a bad 8 + years. i've been divorced, had massive substance issues ( clean now ) Lost a fiance due to multiple issues and have anxiety problems. Not sure what type is best for me, trying to stay of meds.... Any advice?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  DrFee replied 4 years ago.

DrFee :

Hello! Please remember that my response is for information only, we are not establishing a therapeutic relationship.


 

Customer:

hi there.

DrFee :

More important than therapeutic modality is having a good working relationship with a therapist --- a good fit , that is. Hello --


 

Customer:

I've had very little.

DrFee :

Cogntive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is good for anxiety issues.


 

Customer:

but i know its time.

Customer:

ive heard that.

Customer:

i should have a male or female or does it matter?

Customer:

i've been to a MTF

Customer:

she didint do much.

Customer:

was a waste of money and time.

DrFee :

 


 

DrFee :

Not all therapists are good therapists.....


 

DrFee :

It should not matter if they are male or female.


 

DrFee :

But --if you have a significant issue with one sex or the other--sometimes it can make it more challenging, or allow you to face those issues.


 

Customer:

i dont.

Customer:

i'm not even sure what the goal would be.

DrFee :

Since you've already had a not great experience in therapy, you might want to do several consultations with a few different therapists.


 

Customer:

part of the problem is i already know what i "should" be doing

Customer:

gotcha.

DrFee :

Trying to set a goal could by the "measuring stick" you use to see what it's like with each therapist --you can get a feel for how they would work with you.


 

DrFee :

We often know what we "should" do, but don't always know what blocks us from doing so ---


 

Customer:

heres a question - do Therapist get therapy ever?

DrFee :

Sure --in fact, it's often a training requirement of some graduate schools. What makes you ask that question?


 

Customer:

i duno, to see if they practice what they preach, or rather know they cant help them selves.

Customer:

IE if most therapist have had therapy, then there is rason to believe it works.

Customer:

err reason.

DrFee :

Try not to lump all therapists into one category --there are some excellent therapists and there are some lousy ones, just like any other profession.


 

Customer:

I can't say i know anyone who has benefited from Therapy, but i dont go around asking.

DrFee :

And some just average ones :)


 

Customer:

right.

Customer:

so, CBT would cover my bases?

DrFee :

It's not a subject that many people like to discuss ---


 

Customer:

i assume the over all goal is to lead the patient to draw their own conclusions?

Customer:

and make a choice

DrFee :

CBT is active, directive, and you need to work between sessions. Some people don't like it because they prefer their therapy to be more non-directive, less structured.


 

DrFee :

Yes


 

Customer:

i just dont get the over all goal, whats the benafit to talking to a therapist when i could talk to my cat, or a wall?

Customer:

what type of work?

Customer:

i guess it all seems abstract to me.

DrFee :

Usually in the form of experiments ---in CBT you identify your beliefs, see if they are "working" for you, if the answer is "no," you form a new belief and "test" it out in real life to see if there is truth to it or not.


 

DrFee :

A cat can't help you with that. ;)


 

Customer:

hes proven to be bad at it.

DrFee :

Yes, I would recommend a dog --more empathic! I'll give a very oversimplified example.


 

Customer:

i find it odd that many of the ppl i know, dated etc have all had psyc degrees, but are all messed up them selves.

Customer:

i'm a cat guy -=]

DrFee :

If someone's belief is "No one will talk to me."


 

Customer:

k

DrFee :

We would look at the evidence both for and against that being true.


 

DrFee :

And come up with a more balanced belief (assuming that's off balance) that incorporates the truth of both sides


 

DrFee :

So maybe like -- "When I am friendly people talk to me, but when I am in a bad mood I stay away from people"


 

Customer:

what about past issues -

Customer:

thats more up my ally.

Customer:

can a CBT help hash that out?

DrFee :

Yes. Our core beliefs, most deeply held beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world, come from significant past experiences.

DrFee :

You can't understand the present without considering the past.


 

Customer:

i tend to live in the past -

Customer:

alwatys

Customer:

and it always f**ks me

DrFee :

It's a myth that CBT therapy doesn't do that.


 

Customer:

not sure if that makes sense.

Customer:

im always several months ro years behind

Customer:

and i rehash stuff in my head to the point where it cripples me moving forward.

DrFee :

Sometimes very distressing or traumatic experiences can do that ----


 

Customer:

other than that, im fine

DrFee :

Yes, our thoughts can drive us crazy ----


 

Customer:

do some CBTs do weekend work?

Customer:

and do they take calls etc

DrFee :

Some people work weekends. Each therapist should tell you upfront what their guidelines are for taking calls between sessions.


 

DrFee :

You can look for a therapist here: www.psychologytoday.com


 

DrFee :

Here;s another good site: http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm


 

Customer:

ok

DrFee :

Can I answer any final question for you?


 

Customer:

no, i'll look into a CBT.

DrFee :

OK, take good care then!


 

DrFee and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you