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Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question

Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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Can you chat please?

Resolved Question:

Can you chat please?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Dr. Rossi :

Hi, yes if the chat mode is working properly.

Customer:

Hi Dr. Rossi.

Customer:

I noticed on another site that you read tarot, am I correct?

Customer:

I mean I was about to be connected to you for that.

Dr. Rossi :

Yes

Customer:

Okay so I'd like to get a reading on a situation I have.

Dr. Rossi :

I do use the tarot and I-ching to look at what energies are influencing a person's life

Dr. Rossi :

Ok

Customer:

I have been seeing a married man for about 4 years. I am very much in love with him. He tells me he loves me.

Customer:

He has just moved out of his house within the last 3 weeks, and has gotten separated.

Customer:

The thing is he says he needs for me to give him space so that he can figure out his life.

Dr. Rossi :

He's split up w/ his wife? Where is he living now?

Customer:

I am having a hard time not feeling rejected. he has been not just my lover, but also my best friend, and I miss him very much.

Customer:

he is living with a friend of his, in a town an hour away from where his house is.

Customer:

He lives 3 hours away from me

Dr. Rossi :

What does he mean by space? No contact for a while, no sexual intimacy, etc?

Customer:

No contact for a while, I guess.

Customer:

Like he needs to clear his head.

Dr. Rossi :

What about a specific time line? Did he clarify this w/ you?

Customer:

I last saw him in February. He is a professional baseball scout and travels all the time.

Customer:

He said he would be in touch once a week for sure to let me know how things are going.

Dr. Rossi :

Is he keeping his word?

Customer:

Other than that, no time line, just that he doesn't know which way is up, and is in a very bad place.

Customer:

keeping his word to be in touch? Yes. We talked yesterday, he said he loves me and always will, but just needs space.

Dr. Rossi :

Do you know if there is contact w/ his wife after they separated?

Customer:

no.

Customer:

I do not know.

Dr. Rossi :

But he does talk to you at least once a week?

Customer:

I know he has told her he is not in love with her anymore, and does not want to be in the marriage.

Customer:

Yes.

Dr. Rossi :

How does he sound to you when the two of you speak?

Customer:

He is a little depressed...his father cheated on his mother long long ago and then married the "other woman" - I think he thinks he is letting a lot of people down.

Dr. Rossi :

Any children?

Customer:

And also stressed.

Customer:

No.

Customer:

No children. I am divorced and have two children.

Dr. Rossi :

You wanted to see what energy the Tarot would pick up on to gain clarity into the situation?

Customer:

I just want a chance to be with him.

Customer:

yes.

Dr. Rossi :

All right. Give me a moment to deal and read the spread. I can post to the info under this thread. You can still reply even when I get out of the chat mode. Is the chat screen jumpy on your end?

Customer:

no

Customer:

so you want to close this now? and you will alert me when your thoughts are ready?

Dr. Rossi :

Ok. I will get out of the chat and you'd get a notice in the email that said I'm out of it. Once done w/ the reading, I will post it to you. Give me about 10 min.

Customer:

ok. thank you

Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
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Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

This is based on the horse shoe spread and addresses what may be influencing the situation.

 

At the moment- 9 of Pentacles: this may relate to a concern of his about tangible/financial obligations that he has towards his wife. This card generally would imply that she may be asking him for many things for her own profit/benefit. The card could also relate to his concerns of his own livelihood hence forth.

 

His fears 10 of Wands: fear of too many responsibilities (feeling as though he's bitting more than he can chew). But, these are temporary.

 

Outside influences Six of Cups:the past and unresolved issues/memories are influencing his emotional self. Yet, there are also some positive memories that he can learn from and apply in his own life at the moment. This would apply to letting go of fear of what others are thinking. It is his life to live. He would benefit from thinking out of the box and not see things in all black and white.

 

Near Future Knight of Pentacles: Successful outcome for him of his dealings in regard to finances/property (anything tangible) The need to take a practical approach in managing his resources.

 

Possible outcome Seven of Swords: In order for him to move forward, he would have to incorporate the energy of both his emotions and his logical mind. By using diplomacy when dealing with others, he can push through. This card also cautions that he would not want to over think things but also listen to the advice of others whom he's close to. Page of wands: He can move on and pursue the relationship with you as the wands suite of the tarot indicates growth and onward movement. The relationship in a sense will provide a new beginning for him (opportunity) to grow as an individual.

 

 

Since he had asked you about some time, you'd want him to specify how much time does he need and if he expects you to do something meanwhile i.e. determine for sure that you want to proceed w/ the relationship, any concerns of yours about possible relocation, putting your own social/work affairs in order before the next step, etc. If he says, he only wants you to wait, let him know that you'd like to have a time frame in mind. Besides talking on the phone, see if he'd consider talking on skype via web cam.

 

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
He hasn't really asked me to "wait." as I said, because of his job, he travels a great deal. Because of this and because of his extreme fear of getting caught, we have seen each other less frequently as our affair as progressed. The first year we saw each other every couple of weeks. But it is always the same when we see each other - conversation is easy, etc. , and for me, making love with him is like prayer. I say all of this to mention that he is not asking me to "wait," and that we will eventually be together - he says he has no idea what he wants. So I guess I would ask, is your interpretation of the spread that we *will* be together someday?

I really believe he is my soulmate.

He does have a lot of financial concerns related to splitting up with his wife, and you are right, he is very concerned with what others will think. One of his foremost fears previously was that he would "lose all of his friends," but of course now he is staying at a friend's house.

Last night when I told him how sad and confused I am about things and said in passing that I was going to go drink some wine, he said, "Look. Please don't go out and drink. It isn't like that. Please don't try to fuvk me  out of your system by calling some 6-8 democrat from Clemson. I just need space. I love u Jules. Always will."

So what do you get from the cards about the possibility of us being together at some point?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

Yes, the relationship can solidify after some time (after he takes care of what it is he needs the "space" to do). Perhaps he had asked for this "space" in order not to overwhelm you in some way.

I though that he had asked for space and for you to wait for him meanwhile. The cards indicated that he's preoccupied w/ things at the moment. As he sorts through his affairs, he can become more involved in the relationship that the two of you had started few years back. Now that he's separated from his wife, the need for secrecy won't have to be there anymore.

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
But you are saying that you feel like for sure we will get to be together?

He thinks he will have to let his wife have his house, and that she will never be able to keep it up, keep up the payments. Also the house *belongs* to him and he is very upset that he is going to "have" to give it to her. He has been trying to figure out all the financial stuff for months now and first mentioned that he was thinking of leaving her at the first of the year. He has been in this "dark place" since about that time where he is extremely unhappy.

So you think maybe after he figures out the logistical stuff he will be back to "normal" communications with me? Do the cards look like I might see him? And if so, when?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

It shows that he's ready for a new beginning. After he figures these "burdens" of his, he can have a normal communication/relationship.

The cards won't show specifics as to when the two of you will see one another. It showed that the outcome of this can be positive (as soon as he figures his business/financial dealings. From what you're saying, he is working on this now) That was the predominant energy that showed up. The Ten of Wands card indicated that and, if you see the image, it shows someone carrying a large load.

  • Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    Right. I know he feels like he is carrying a number of huge burdens right now with all of this.

    He has told me that he has no idea what he wants. Is that because he is in the middle of dealing with all of this stuff? His mind is just a maelstrom, trying to deal with all the practical, logistical stuff?

    But he still does love me?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    Correct- he thinks that he does not know what he wants because of so much stress at the moment affecting him. He will come out of this stressful period as soon as he is able to make some moves (one of which he already did by moving out of their house) Now, he's dealing with the aftermath of that all at once. He has feelings invested in you and what you've got together.
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    So he will be "back," we will get a chance at being together, and I just need to let him have this "space," no matter how hard it is for me?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    Yes - That is how it appears. You've got to stay strong during this time.
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    Hey - one more thing, I have worried that one thing that may keep him from getting into a long-term relationship with him is the fact that I have kids. That is despite the fact that he is very good with kids, and that I have always thought there was no way his journey on this Earth would end without him becoming a father. In fact, I had thought that *we* would have a baby together, and I have told him this, but I am 43 now...

    In any event, do you think my children will keep he and I apart?
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    I am just completely freaking out about this. I am also at a bad place in my life...my business just failed, I owe a lot of people a lot of money. Can you also do a spread for me to let me know if my life is going to turn out okay? And look at both of us together?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

    When two individuals love one another, the children should not be a factor that would prevent them from being together and making a life together.

     

    He may have asked for "space" sensing that you too are stressed out at the moment.

    The Star for you indicates that you have some creative ideas in place that can help you get out of this financial funk. There may be options that you've not yet considered and these relate to some sort of creative energy that you've used in the past whether it is selling artistic things like jewelry, children's or womens clothes, etc. any kind of venture that you would not need an investment to start like selling on half.com or ebay.

    Seven of Pentacles- This situation is less dire than it seems on the surface. Your worries can affect those around you (most likely him as he's in a similar situation) You'd want to be proactive- consider all different options; perhaps write a list today after a brief meditation which, will allow you some clarity over this.

     

    Possible outcome in regard to the relationship - The Magician: positive outcome is possible through mutual effort after he has sorted his issues and you've addressed your own individually. This implies that you would have to remain optimistic and positive because each of you feeds off of the other person's mood/energy. Try not to project your anxiety or fears onto him (sometimes it's done without you being fully aware)

    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    So just keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay - kind of "fake it 'til you make it?"

    I am so freaked out and have been freaked out by the distance he has put between the two of us that I really have my been able to work for almost three weeks, which obviously is not helpin my situation. I feel like I need to rest today, is that okay?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    No, it is not fake. You have control over how you react to all of this. One choice is to get bogged down, the other one is to put forth your inner strength. You have to allow yourself rest and start directing this "freaking out" energy into something constructive for you. You will gain clarity as your stress and anxiety level decrease. This distance b/w the two of you now can be used for healing and sorting out of what you've got control over. Use it constructively.
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    But from what the cards indicate, we will have a chance to be together?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    Correct.
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    Definitely, right? I mean I kind of pestered him a few days ago bc my therapis was insisting to me that he was being insensitive to me and that I needed answers from him. Such as askig him does he not love me anymore or does he only love me as a friend. I pushed him on that and he said right now, he needs a friend, not a lover. But he also said that he loves me and will always love me. I pushed him and I really regret it now. I did apologize to him for this. But I am really worried about having done irreparable damage to our relationship.
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    It does not have to be insensitivity on his part. He could be sorting things out. If he is confused or stressed, giving you some answer now won't be fair. You know that you pushed him and now are being more considerate. Things can always be repaired when both individuals work on the relationship together.
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    So I have not done irreparable damage to the relationship?

    And he will get back in touch with me?

    And he's not seeing anyone else (this is just me being paranoid, I think?)?

    And I just need to focus on being positive and working?
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    I promise if you will just answer that series of questions I will leave you alone. ;-)
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    I guess just one more thing: since the last time I bothered him was Tuesday, and he has so much stuff going on his head, he has probably forgotten all about me bothering him by this point, right?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

    Mistakes do occur in relationships. These issues can be worked through. The tarot shows the present energies and on his part that he's preoccupied w/ his finances and how to structure his life hence forth. There was an indication that things can progress in positive way for both of you.

    If he is talking to you and had confirmed his love for you, he's most likely not obsessing about what you've said.

    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    He said he loved me *before* I was pestering him...he said during this same conversation that he has no idea what he wants....that is not necessarily unusual for someone leaving a marriage, for his head to be in such a whirl?
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    Love is not something that just goes away because one person said something when they were anxious or afraid. He is honest with you- he does not know what he wants. That confusion will clear up. It is not unusual because his whole life the way he knew it up until recently is changing.
    Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
    Category: Mental Health
    Satisfied Customers: 4627
    Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
    Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    Ok. Thank you.
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.
    You welcome!
    Customer: replied 2 years ago.
    Dr Rossi - I am freaking out about my guy and staying away from him...it will be a week today since I have heard from him - PLEASE look at the cards for me and see what you see??
    Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 2 years ago.

    Hi Julie,

     

    You've opened few other threads and this morning I posted back to you on one of them this -

     

     

    this is what came up in today's spread -

     

    Presently- Moon: a sense of confusion as a result of having to face his past actions and their outcome. Feeling as though he's in a dark place and not knowing how to pull through. Having doubts about his ability to make a firm decision to do what should be done. In order to make progress, it would be essential for him to face his fears and doubts. After he sheds this anxiety, can he make a move forward.

     

    Desires/wishes -Ten of Cups: The desire for genuine happiness, peace and harmony is there. It shows that it is possible to have a positive and fulfilling relationship w/ you.

     

    The Unexpected development- Ace of pentacles: Still a long way to go before finalizing his financial obligations. Concerns about material circumstances are becoming more clear and defined.

     

    Immediate possible development- Two of Swords: His inclination at this time to hide from others (you) and his emotions. He is afraid of change and because of this, he believes that he's stuck. Still feels at a cross road only because of his indecision.

     

    Possible Outcome-Queen of swords: on your part the need to exercise patience and strength at this moment. Meaning- addressing the anxiety level that you're feeling as a result of his distance. It also is a card that suggest that you stay assertive in letting him know what you want.

    It is as though he's afraid to allow himself to be happy with you because he feels guilty and concerned about his family- as though he's punishing himself. But life has ups and downs. He had decided to move out and to leave his wife. It is a decision he has to live and also face his obligation to you.

     

    The cards portray the energies that influence the current situation. How each person handles their part in it, is what would lead to the outcome. What keeps coming up is that he must put in order his monetary concerns, deal w. indecisiveness rather than hide from his emotions and from you. There is an indication that the relationship can have a future once he is truthful with himself and you. One other issue may be a pending divorce (he may not have yet pursued this, and is something that would definitely be affecting how he is doing now and his interaction with you) .

    If you had not heard from him this week, you may send him a text just to say "hope you're well" or, "hope things are well on your end."

     


    Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
    Category: Mental Health
    Satisfied Customers: 4627
    Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
    Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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