I don't know what kind of therapist you are, or how familiar you are on the subject of depression in males, but I have recently come out of a relationship with a male who has been diagnosed and treated for severe depression. He was honest with me about it early on in the relationship.
Essentially this is how it went - and it has all left me extremely upset and confused -
he was initially very attracted to me and went out of his way for about a month pursuing me. He was constantly sending me text messages every single day, multiple times a day, expressing how beautiful he thought i was and how much he wanted to get to know me. it bordered on stalking and obsession, in fact i think it was obsession, but my friends just told me it was because i am exceptionally beautiful (which i have been told i am. i am a model and have a very noticeable, flashy look.) i am also very different and out there and wild, which he appreciated and was very attracted to.
long story short, he relentlessly pursued me, and his sweetness/how much he cared/appreciation for me, won me over, and we began a relationship.
things went very very quickly. we both just were head over heels in love. he constantly was talking to me. we didn't go an hour without talking to one another.
that went on for a few months, but then things dramatically started going downhill. i feel stupid now for not catching on, but he started displaying many signs of severe depression. he started getting very edgy with me, and saying some very cruel and nasty things, and then trying to say i was being the mean one, when i honestly did
not really do anything at all - when he was really and truly being the cruel one. he would say very odd dramatic things like "you've pushed me away as far as i can go."
he got very nasty and was not contacting me as much. he was locking himself in his room for days and sleeping
all day or doing work all day and not talking to anyone. he stopped texting me for days at one point, which was very unusual and got me very worried. however, now i feel i should have caught on that maybe he was having a depression relapse?
the last time i contacted him, we were both angry at one another because i accused him of cheating on me, and he adamantly denied that he did. he was also angry because i "kept asking him if he still liked me. i kept questioning it." But the only reason i kept questioning it was because he was withdrawing. he really was pushing away from me, which hurt. however, i blamed myself instead of realizing he may have been going into another depression episode.
i have read many articles and heard of depressed men withdrawing from their wives/girlfriends when they go into bad downward spirals, and then they blame it all on the wife/girlfriend, and say things like "it's all your fault," "you pushed me away," or "you should be ashamed for pushing me away like this," when really, they are the ones pushing their wives/girlfriends away when the wives/girlfriends have done nothing.
I have also read articles about depressed men finding a woman that they obsess over, because they are at the "tip" of their depression iceberg. They obsess over the woman because they think she can save them from their depressed state. My boyfriend certainly did obsess over me before he even knew me really. He immediately was so interested and was constantly expressing how amazing and beautiful he thought i was.
i have tried to send him messages, but he had been ignoring them all for a month. i sent some angry messages, but then i very honestly told him i loved him and was there for him and wished he would talk to me. i sent tons and tons of those loving messages. he finally responded to it all a few days ago in all caps lock extremely angry telling me to stop and that enough was enough and that i'd been harassing him for a month. he blocked all contact from me. i could not be hurting more. he was the greatest guy to me. though he did border on obsession (or maybe he was obsessed), he showed me constant love and support and appreciation. and now it seems that all of a sudden that is gone, and he blames me for it. i am not perfect, but i certainly did not drive him to become such a monster.
i just don't know what to do now. will he ever come back to me? will he ever realize how oddly and irrationally he behaved, and how mean he was to me?