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Hello, how can I help you?
Thank you for the additional information. It helps.From your description of your boyfriends behavior, it sounds like he not only may have depression but possibly a personality disorder. When someone suddenly changes behavior and treats you badly after pursuing you to the point of obsession, that indicates that there is something going on with their personality. Although some depressed people may have obsessions and cruelty as part of their behavior, those two things are not typically symptoms of depression. It is more likely to be a personality issue or possibly he has Bipolar disorder. Either way, you may just want to give him some time. If he is depressed or there are other issues going on, backing off will give him time to recover and allow for him to deal with whatever is bothering him. If he is in treatment, he may need his medications adjusted which takes time to work on his symptoms. He also may need to figure out that he was unfair to you and that he needs to make amends. While you are talking to him, he may not see that clearly. But if you are not in his life for a while, he may begin to miss you and realize what he did. Give him a few weeks and see if he contacts you. If not, try sending him a simple text or message. Say that you are thinking of him and hope he is doing well. There is not much he can say to that except to either acknowledge it or ignore it. Also, try talking with his friends and family to see if you can gauge how he is and any progress he is making on feeling better. In meanwhile, you may want to talk to someone yourself to help you learn ways to cope in a relationship with someone who has emotional difficulties. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor. Or search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Also, read articles about coping with people who have personality issues. Here is a link to help you get started:http://www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/personality-disorders
I hope this helps you,Kate
Someone with a personality disorder will do as you described your boyfriend doing. It has nothing to do with you or anything you are doing. It is about him and his issues. As you read more about personality disorders and see if it fits any of them, you will find that how he acted fits the symptoms.You do mean something to him. Otherwise he would not have been with you. But right now his issues are getting in the way and he probably can't have a relationship, until he finds a way to deal with how he feels.He could soon realize what he did. But that depends on whether or not he is getting treatment and how he progresses with that treatment. And his insight into how he treated you also depends on his treatment and how willing he is to see how he has acted. If he can gain insight, then he may apologize and make it up to you. If not, then you may have to work around his issues to have a relationship. I would give this at least a few weeks to see what happens with him. Human behavior can be unpredictable and a lot depends on his motivation and insight. Keep trying to learn more about what might be wrong with him so when he does contact you, you know how to respond.Kate
His behavior could definitely be caused by whatever disorder he has. It does make it hard on you because it is not easily understood. There is no way you could have foreseen this unless you were a trained therapist. You were just going by what you saw. There is nothing wrong with that.
There is no way to know what his therapist will pick up on. Hopefully, he will share his experience. But in the meanwhile, it may help you to talk about how you feel with a therapist. You have a lot of pain from this and need to work out your own feelings.
I hope this has answered your questions. It was good talking with you.
It is hard to say what he might think. But if he does get better, he may realize what happened. He may also speak with you again, depending on how his treatment goes.
It was nice talking with you. I hope everything works out.