Wanted to give you book stuff for Kate before I forgot. The first book is really good as it deals with what you sometimes say...how can I explain stuff I do not even get... This book makes it easy, and is a great read, and it is cheap on amazon.com.
The second is a simple bible story book. Both are inexpensive.
Talking To Your Children About God by Richard Osborne
and The Beginner's Bible: Timeless Children's Stories, Kelly Pulley
Believe me: I have hired pregnant women. Places will do so if you interview well. Even so, I get what you mean about not wanting to do so or seeing it as futile. But after the baby is born, the 5k loss might be worth it...and do they really collect on this? Is this even legal?
Well, agreed. Little one sounds a better than "the fetus". Besides, that is how all children were named in the past. Our names were real words; yours actually was "Pledged to God". And, like an American Indian that would have been your name, said just like that. So "little one" is great.
Hard to know what all was going on in that rumor mill of a family, Crazy that she would know this stuff, or care enough to tell you. And, what would they really say about you? There isn't that much going on with you that is scandal. And, if they think it is: That is their choice, a really pathetic one. BTW: your mom does show some marked traits of having a brain injury. That emotional one sidedness and aggression toward you. Pretty typical from what I have seen.
I am going to try to find you in the Sesame Street Archives. I will let you know.
Ah, yeah...the not so clinical names for vagina; not a good idea for Kate. That would be nasty, I agree. And I am also with you. I hate the Va Ja Jay nonsense. Oprah, not a fan at all. And, it is degrading and crass, that word, I think...even more than some others. As a matter of fact, I would rather hear the C or P word than that.
I can get why work seems like a mill stone around your neck. It is so stressful and you do not feel well emotionally and you are tired. I do see that. I am sorry. Being pregnant and working such a demanding job is not good.
Feeling such Sadness. That does makes sense. On your best days you are beat and tired and overwhelmed. This job is nuts and demanding and unsupportive. They do not even care that you do not see your kids due to the night shift. And, your past trauma about your license will come back on you sometimes. That is not you.
It is normal, and chasing it, which is what it is called when you want to find out what happened with the other nurse, that is common. But, if you can: Try not to do so. It doesn't really help and that is not the real issue. Truly, you and anyone would be insecure from all that has happened to you, and that insecurity comes up, especially on bad days. It is normal to feel so, and the best thing is to know that it is common and not to give it too much attention. This may be an effort, but it is for the best. You are not in any more danger than you were yesterday or the day before and you are a good nurse. One day, one hour at a time Liz. Steven