not the most exciting message in the world!! Any message is good for me :)
I'm feeling a little brighter today, except the headache, but I overslept, and Poppy had to wake me up! I'm not sure if something is up with my night meds (mirtazapine), bc I had trouble getting to sleep last night, had the same feelings as the other afternoon when I had waves of anxiety
, tension, whatever, and my head was spinning with thoughts, but it's probably just everything, not med related, as when it happened on Monday it was a long time after.
I have cancelled Poppy's music theory lesson after school, she hasn't done her homework for it, she needed my help and I was too done. I feel bad to have made an untrue excuse for a reason not to go, but it's just too much to cope with for the both of us. He was very kind and said to take care, I think her violin teacher may have told him of our domestic issues, I ride with her when I can (not for ages), and she is a good ear.
I had coffee with my neighbour Gemma this morning, updated her. She listened quietly, supported me and hoped it would all work out for me and the children. She didn't want D to stay here without me; we had agood friendship in the early years as couple to couple, but we have drifted since D has been behaving badly lately, they haven't wanted to be around him, they are here for me.
Then I stopped quickly with my parents. I felt bad that they knew so much now, it's been hard to tell some but not all. K was so upset at D at the weekend bc he took my means of communicating with her that she emailed my dad, who didn't read it til the following lunchtime, but she told him what was going on, not that I wouldn't have, but maybe I would have kept it down a bit. She had my permission to contact him if she needed to, so I was fine with it, but I worry that my dad will worry too much, and feel he needs to sort things out for me.
I'm just back for my 2 hours with Kitty. I'm hurting sorely today in new places. I tried to run the 200 yards down the road to her house from my parents bc I was late, but wasn't able to take more than a few steps. I have so much to do to be right again, the thought of it all is exhausting! In fact, time for a rest.