Thank you for your response.
Perhaps, he may have mild to moderate depression and/or anxiety
as he may be in mid life crisis. Many people go through mid life crisis around age 45-64 in the U.S..
It sounds like counseling has not been helpful for his condition.
He has been in denial of his issues. He externalizes his problems blaming others. Counseling is supposed to help him reflect on his own issues.
His emotional affair may be indicative of depression - emotional withdrawal from you and his family. He may be escaping into fantasy.
This may be temporal.
He will be stuck with his problems unless he deals with his issues and/or accepts his responsibility via counseling.
Unfortunately, no one has control over his progress in psychotherapy.
If he gives you permission to speak with his counselor, you may bring up your concerns to his counselor (though it's unlikely your husband may allow you to speak with his counselor).
Hopefully, he may work with another counselor specializing in mid life crisis.
You may need support from your family, friends, and/or a counselor for yourself in this challenging situation. Your husband may not get well soon. You may have to be patient with his recovery.
Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. Warm regards,