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Hi Sue, I'd be happy to help.
Can I ask more about why you blame your inner child? What do you feel you did as a child to have a reason to blame yourself?
Thank you for trusting me with your information. I am so sorry that your brother abused you so badly. It sounds like he abused you sexually and manipulated you into believing that you wanted it, adding pain to what you already had to suffer through. At the age of 6, no child understands sex let alone wants it. That is too young of an age to even have a sex drive. Your brother sounds like he wanted to blame you for what he did and not accept responsibility himself. And you did not have the knowledge or experience to not see him as anything than what he presented himself as- your brother who loved you. There was no way you could have stopped him if you had tried. No child of that age has that kind of ability.But it is understandable how you would blame yourself. Being told something like your brother told you at such an early age would make a huge impression on you. Add the trauma he did to you, and what he told you is going to stay imprinted in your mind.In order to shift the blame back to him, where it should be, you need to allow yourself time and give yourself permission to struggle with this. It may take a while. And it could be two steps forward, one back for a little bit. But that is ok. If you accept that it may take a while, it will be easier. Also, as long as you work on it that counts as progress. Kate
You will be able to do it. Recovery from trauma is mostly just the desire to do so. Doing the work helps of course, but it's the drive to feel better that makes it happen. And since you do want to feel better, you already have what you need.It helps a lot to forgive your inner child. It also helps to see the blame as belonging to your brother, as you talked about before. It can be very healing to let your inner child go from being responsible for what your brother did.It is very natural to want to protect your inner child. She needed to be protected and no one helped her. You may only recall what your brother told you, but I can imagine that the 6 year old you also wanted to be rescued from what was happening to her. She may have felt confused, scared, hurt and upset. Protecting her is a wonderful way to connect with who she was and make her feel better. A letter is a great way to start! It helps to get your thoughts out, gives you time to process them and helps you go back to re read what you wrote, promoting your healing. I encourage you to write to your inner child as much as you can, possibly devoting a notebook to her. Talk to your therapist about this as well. I imagine that she will encourage you too. You are making perfect sense with this, Sue. I can see all the signs that you are on your way to working this out and feeling better. Kate