Hi there!! I hope I can be of some help to you here... so it sounds like you want an analysis of the weak areas, or areas that are lacking/need work in the marriage? Let me take a moment to search one out for you...
Here is one that you both fill out; it is free: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4501_enq.html
It is an "emotional needs assessment"... which sounds kind of what you are looking for.
Here is one more: it is a question and answer quiz by John Gottman, a well-known marriage and family therapist: http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/quizzes/marriage.html
thanks......we just dont do anything together & now that our children are 16 & 13 they need us less so I think I am feeling the void more than he...he as a lot of men are..... a tv addict.
Sure... as time goes on, things change, and we have to adapt to new circumstances. If it is worth having, it is worth working for!
As we age, a comfortable secure relationship becomes valuable; you just have to find one another again! Second honeymoon time! ;-)
that is exactly how I feel...Just don't know how to figure out if it's worth fixing.
These assessments will give you some information, and you may want to focus on you somewhat as well. Now may be the time to do the things that you have always wanted to do, just for you! Midlife crisis time can be a wonderful awakening!
financially we struggle. my husb just returned to work after 3 months of re cooperating from a tib-fib fracture & I feel that I stopped everything for him & feel grossly under appreciated for it. Right now I see myself growing old with some one who has no long term goals.
Sure... feeling unappreciated is tough. Taken for granted, as if you will always be there. You have every right to stand up for yourself and your own needs.
IF he is open to therapy, what is it that I should look for in a local therapist? & thank you for you help & advise
You will want a marriage and family therapist, one with good references... www.psychologytoday.com has a therapist guide, as does www.therapistfinder.com ... your insurance company may also be able to guide you. It may be the best thing to do--- to get this figured out so that you can enjoy your time together!
thanks i will try your suggestions :)
My very best to you both!! Hang in there, and work hard!! :-)
Thanks for the follow up. "Things" are a little bit better, although I have not pursued any official therapy yet. Ironically my husband actually found & read our on-line conversation!! In hind site- I'm really glad this occurred. Our conversation was honest with out a "man-bashing" and it opened up communication between us. Since this occurred nearly 1 week ago his receptiveness has improved. We have a long way to go, but a good start.