I'm scared. He came in drunk, I've lots to tell you but head isn't clear enough yet. He told me he felt he didn't know what to do with himself, head was a mess. I said I know how you feel, I've been there lots of times. I said do you want to read my poem of how I've ben feeling? He said yes, go on then, then I can write you a poem. So I gave him my netbook with the poem up, he read the first verse, second verse, said we sing about these emotions in our songs everyday, this is normal life, every body feels like this. I said well the way you feel is normal then, just as my feelings are normaland every day. He read the verse with the black dog, picked up on the words oppression sinister, read them out to me scathingly (he didn't understand my poem), said you feel this about what? I said I'm talking about depression (not him). He shut my netbook, did't want to read anymore. He went on about something else, feelings, suicide in fact, then I said had he read all of my poem? He said no, but he would now. I said no, you had your chance, I don't want you to read anymore. He opened it, got cross bc there is a password. He got up and took my netbook down stairs. I didn't say anything. Then he took it outside, Sam saying don't be such an idiot, but he went anyway. I don't know where he's put it, and now he's gone back out. I can't access all my emails, but I'm trying. I'm using Sam's laptop. But I'm rather anxious, he wil either come home exceedingly drunk, or I don't know what. Before he left he told the kids he would kill himself.
Just wanted to tell you things aren't going too well, but the kids are both with me on my side (both out now). I am surely afraid now.
That's ok Rose. Whatever you can work out with the moderators. Just let me know.
I'm trying not to let the netbook upset me. I may not get it back, but at least I can still talk to you, and I have emailed K bc we were to meet on Second Life at 8pm. I just want to get through this evening knowing that I can still talk with you, and I have plenty of numbers on my phone if I need them. I can have the cottage this week, there is no one here. I am feeling rather ill, but in control apart from hed all over the place.
I just wanted to touch base with you and let you know that I feel so bad for what Dave is doing to you. You do not deserve more of his abuse. He sounds like he is not coping well. Be safe and do whatever you need to do to keep yourself that way.
I will pray for you and the kids. I'm here anytime you want to talk.
Good night, Rose. Remember this will pass and you will be free, very soon.
It will pass. You are right, it will just take time. Your insight is exactly right, it is his life as it was that Dave wants. He does not want to be responsible and have to take care of himself. He is grabbing at straws trying to control you and harm you in an attempt to feel better.
Everyone does not love him. That is just his belief system. He has to believe that to protect himself.
This is a very sad attempt to get at you. But he won't be able to change what is happening.
Talk to you tomorrow,
From what I understand, there is a new policy of one question one accept. If you want to talk with the moderators so they can clarify it, that may help. I'll check back in soon to answer your question on the new thread.