Hi, I'm Alicia. I'm happy to help you today. Moving to a new town and starting a new job are two major life changes that can cause an exacerbation of symptoms of depression and anxiety. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of stress.
And if you're already pre-disposed to depression and anxiety, then these factors (combined with the increased fighting with your partner) do explain why you're starting to feel worse - feeling like you're losing control, having changes in appetite and sleep patterns.
It's not always the case that you need to take medication if you're experiencing depression and/or anxiety. But it is probably a good idea to consult a psychiatrist just to have an evaluation in any case.
You might want to refer to this information for help finding a psychiatrist if you don't already know of someone in your area: https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/treatments/howtogethelp.aspx
It seems that it's the combination of so many important changes in your life that are causing these symptoms, and once you've adjusted to these changes, you probably (hopefully) will experience a decrease in the symptoms again.
But it can be the case that either medication or counseling (if you are not still seeing the counselor) are recommended - if you do take medication, it doesn't have to be forever. Sometimes, you just need a temporary boost to get you through a rough time.
You might also want to try some self-help strategies - things you can do on your own to help yourself feel better. So you might want to review this information from the Mayo Clinic, for example: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/ds00175/dsection=coping-and-support
As far as the issues you're experiencing with your partner, it seems that, perhaps, if you can explain to him what's going on (in terms of feeling depressed, any maybe sharing some information with him about it so he has a better understanding of your symptoms, that, for example, sleeping more and eating less are actually very common symptoms of depression) then he might be more compassionate and understanding as well.
But I do think that consulting a psychiatrist would be a good idea, because depression and anxiety can get worse if they're not properly treated.
Hi Alicia, thank you for responding so quickly!
Hi there :) You're welcome!
I hope that information is helpful. In a way, it makes sense that you're feeling overwhelmed, but you shouldn't have to suffer needlessly.
i have tried to speak to my partner but he doesnt understand depression and the last time i felt so low was way before we met. i wouldnt have said i felt stressed, although i have gone through a lot of changes. at work i feel fine, im always smiling and performing well ( im a retail manager so have to deal with staff and customers) its just a t home i feel so isolated and sad.
Do you have any idea why it's just at home? Do you live with your partner?
Just as a side note, you might want to share this link with him. A lot of times, people think you can just "talk" yourself out of feeling depressed - and they don't realize it's a real illness, just like having high blood pressure or another physical condition: http://www.apapracticecentral.org/outreach/depression.pdf
This is also some good information for people who have loved ones suffering from depression: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/MH00016
no we are saving for a mortgage so im in a houseshare at the moment. i guess at work im around other people and at home im alone. i see my boyfriend at weekends unless im working and maybe an evening in the week but i dont drive so its difficult to get 'home' to see him or family/friends
Okay - just in regard to what you said about not feeling stressed- you might not even realize it until something like depression hits you from out of the blue. It can sneak up on you, and it can be triggered by a build up of unacknowledged stress.
I don't know if you are familiar with the social readjustment scale: http://www.montana.edu/wwwcc/docs/life-change.html
But changes in job and residence are high on the list of stressful life events.
Okay. So do you think i should see my GP?
You could see your GP as a first course of action. He may refer you to a psychiatrist for a complete evaluation. Are you still seeing the counselor?
No i havent felt like this for over 7 years.
Okay - then what I would suggest is that you schedule an appointment with the GP (it is best to see a psychiatrist if you can - but the GP is a good first step.) If you liked the previous counselor, then I would recommend that you contact him/her. If you want to try someone new, you can search this website: http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therapists/
You don't have to be in therapy for years and years, but it sounds like you'd benefit from some short-term, supportive counseling.
(And if you have a moment, take a peek at some of the self-help tips from the Mayo Clinic - little steps you can take can help you feel just a bit better in the meantime)
I'd also suggest that you think about sharing some of that information with your partner. I know he might not be so understanding right now, but if he has a quiet moment to sit down and review some of that information, he might be more understanding of you and what you are going through. You might also want to explain to him that you're in the process of getting help, but that you also need his support during all of this.
Ok thank you Alicia
You're welcome. Hang in there and best of luck!