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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I found out in Jan (on accident) that my husband had been seeking

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I found out in Jan (on accident) that my husband had been seeking out other women. He travels for his work and is gone most of the time (home 2x month).. We fought, talked divorce decided to fix things and all is well...NOT I recentley (May 2-4) found he had joined Xpress.com (casual hook-up site) and has been searching for sex and posting for it on craigslist personals. Yes I asked him about it and he said you know I look at porn (i do) and I'm not going to live with a microscope up ass. I intentionally put that on craigslist to see if you were still checking up on me, because I'm not going to live like this. WTF!! What now, help???!!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

It seems that you have reached the end of the line. You will never get that trust back, and he will always be after whatever kind of sex he is looking for - which may lead to a relationship for him, for he obviously is not in love with you, doesn't respect you, and is willing to put himself - AND YOU - at risk for STDs.

You provide him with a home-base for the few times he is home. I'm sure that you would prefer someone who treats you as the precious person that you are, and not like the dog in his home kennel.

I don't know how much information you have on him, but if it is a no-fault divorce state it won't matter. If you have irreconcilable differences then you can get your divorce and start living your life with dignity and self-respect.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We have talked and we are going to go to marriage counseling. He thought it would be good for us both and he is changing his current job for a job where he will be home every night. Does this mean there may be a chance or just move forward with divorce?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for the additional information. It is quite significant that he is making a good faith effort, changing his job and lifestyle, and going to counseling with you. That is excellent news and quite hopeful.

It shows that he cares enough about you to want to trade his lifestyle and improper living in exchange for keeping your marriage together.

Give him a chance. He wants to change. This is what you have wanted, and now you might be able to save this marriage and have a good life together, building on the good that you have already established, and making a significant and permanent change.

It is worth trying. At this point, I believe that you two can work this out.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
17 years and 2 kids (14 and 4) is a long time to just throw away. He is even buying a large piece of family property for all of us to move to in SC and build a house that we design. He wants us to do this together. I was thinking with losing everything in2008, newborn son, moving (forced due to forclosure) losing our business, him having to do the current jon he is in (begining of mid-life crisis possibly he talks alot about the weight he's gained eyes droping, balding, etc...) and me here trying to work full time raise 2 kids and 4 dogs, take care of household (everything), being totaly exhausted all the time... I think we just started to grow apart, take each other for granted, and stopped talking to each other. This may have been our wake-up call.
Thanks so much!
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 2 years ago.
Dear XXXXX,

It seems like it is your wake up call and you are meeting the challenge. I know that you will succeed if you both continue to put your hears and 100% effort into it. This seems great.

If I have encouraged you please leave me positive feedback. Thank you so much.

I wish your family great success. It looks good from here.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.