Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You are clearly a loving and caring mom and you have a delightful child. She is indeed very bright and cognitive development is very much ahead.
I think you know very well within yourself that the way you are raising her is so far doing just fine and that these "problems" he complained of are more indicative of his problems than hers. I am happy, though, to confirm this for you. However, there is a problem here: with him. And I think you also know within yourself that it is not going to be pleasant. What is the problem?
He is crossing boundaries and needs to be reigned in. He may believe that hitting kids is healthy and that the current thing about not hitting kids is new age malarkey. That's fine. However, he is opening you up to legal action by Child Protective Services for allowing him to hit your child, especially if he leaves bruises. (I'm telling you this if it is helpful for you in dealing with him.) The real problem is that he is disciplining her in ways you do not approve of. He has to understand that he must follow YOUR rules if he wishes to see her other than in supervised situations.
I have a feeling this is the tough part for you. But you must face it and tell him and if he flies off the handle than you tell him you are going to hang up now and when he's calmer and able to talk like an adult and agree that you as the parent have the responsibility for her discipline and the right to not have others discipline her unless you ask them to. And if it causes a feud, know that Dr. Mark is behind you and has had to deal with a few of them. They're not pleasant, but either is what you're going through now. And I can tell you he won't be easier to deal with when he is older.
As for the milk, I assume that her pediatrician gives her checkups and measures her developmentally against the standard benchmarks and she's fine. If so, I don't know what he's tyring to complain about. Reassure him that her doctor has checked it out and that she's cleared for milk consumption!
I want to tell you, though, some real concerns to be watchful for: kids who are very bright tend to emotionally have a harder time coping. So get the book, a real classic, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk by Faber and Mazlish. It's 30 years old but still the best. Their teacher's book, Between Parent and Child is still in print after 50 years. It's by Haim Ginott. It will help you with how to help her for her whole life.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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Thank you. and he is making treatning phone calls to my parent saying that he is worried about her well being becaues she is still on a soft nipple sippy cup and he says no toddler should be on a sippy cup and that she should not be drinking milk. she just had a well check up last month and her weigt and height was normal for a 3 year old. its like he always has something negitive to say about me. His son, my daughter's father is a police officer so he thinks its ok to be the way he is. my daugher was at her fathers house and her grandfather was there and from what i heard the washer her with normal body wash for adults and it got on her private and was burning, Well the grandfather held her down the bath to wash the soap off. and as of what he said that my daughter pitched a fit and she didnt want to get back in the soapy water. and when i had asked about it he said " she shouldnt have been pitching a fit the way she was" and i had said why didnt you run her under the clean water and not where there is already soap and she would have calmmed down. its like its his way or no way and im tired of the phone calls. my question is should i get her avaluated to please him? or continue my way and let him talk negitive?
Please remember to click the green accept button because: even though you have made a deposit, I do not get paid for my time unless you press ACCEPT. You are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing ACCEPT. Feel free to continue the discussion even after pressing ACCEPT as my goal is to get you the best answer possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, Dr. Mark