Thank you for your question.
I am glad to see that you have reached out for help from a psychologist.
Based on your post, you are experiencing ruminating thoughts based on your experiences. What I mean by this is that you repressed the memories of what happened with your cousins and that the few details you remember is causing you strife, thus, you are trying to resolve those thoughts.
I apologize for the technical difficulties I am experiencing
Please let me know if you have any further questions, as I am unsure if I was able to answer your question.