Kathy,It is normal to question your relationship if you have been bonded together by the difficult times in your life and there has been a break up. Plus your relationship is a long distance one, which adds to the stress. That is a lot for a relationship to take. But the break up is probably the most significant factor. It takes away your trust and makes you question the strength of your relationship. There is no reason to hurry the relationship. Setting new boundaries can help. Talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, and let him know that you want to take things slowly. That does not obligate you to stay in the relationship, only to see how it works out. Then use that time to consider how you feel about him. Do you look forward to seeing him? Do you like the time you spend together? Does he seem to care about you? Questions like this can help you decide if this relationship is something you want to keep. Also, consider that the long distance relationship adds stress to your situation. Here is a link to help you find ways to connect better (if that is where you decide to take the relationship) :http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Long-Distance-Relationship-WorkKate
The problem is I am terrified to ask him if he sees a future for us (marriage) or will we just keep it as it is until one of us tires of it or meets someone new. The fear of being alone is strong - I think for both of us. But that certainly isn't the reason to stay together. Yes, we do enjoy each other's company and I know he loves me and my daughter and says so and I believe him. He is an extremely honest person. At this point, I know how I feel about him but am extremely unsure of how he feels about me. I don't want to ask him because I am afraid of what his answer will be.
You have two choices, you can ask him and take the risk of what he will say, or you can keep guessing. I understand your fear. Most people feel as you do when confronted with such a dilemma. But it is important for you to know so you can decide what to do.
I guess for me between the OCD, depression, dealing with the assaults and now the loss of normal mobility from the car accident, I don't think I can handle anymore bad news.
My OCD is out of control....way out of control. I'm tired because of nightmares and night terrors and now even more depressed that I can't even do the small bits of homework my therapist gives me. I am so tired of living.
You may want to put this on the back burner then until you feel strong enough to deal with it. It is never a good idea to overwhelm yourself with more if you are struggling to deal with what is already on your plate.
I already do have more on my plate than I can manage successfully. And to say I am struggling is an understatement. It is taking me 30 minutes to close the darn fridge door. I feel angry at everything and don't even have a reason. And more and more often I think of ways for it all to go away but then I think of my daughter and push those thoughts away.
I think it is a good idea to keep working on changing your thinking, just as we talked about.
I don't find that response helpful at all. Not at all like your other messages to me. Perhaps I am just re-hashing old stuff over and over again and it is impossible for your to respond more. Maybe this is as good as it gets for me.
Encouragement is great and I appreciate it. But the email before was me talking about my bad thoughts of ending my life and I found your posting back to me to be quite laid back for those kinds of thoughts. Usually you write me much longer and helpful responses but you totally brushed over those comments of mine and just told me to have postive thoughts. If I could have positive thoughts, believe me, I would and wouldn't need to ask for your help.
Anyway, thanks for all the other help and links you have given me.
This question is still open and I cannot move to your next one until this one is concluded. Did you try to accept and it did not go through?