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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate;Its been a while since Ive written. It was because

Resolved Question:

Kate;

It's been a while since I've written. It was because my daughter and I were in a bad car accident while I was taking her to school. We were stopped on the other side of a set of lights in bumper to bumper traffic. All of a sudden we feel/hear this big crash and I am watching my daughter fly forward (thank God for seatbelts) The driver of the car who hit us flew through a red light thinking there was room for him behind me but there wasn't. Behind him.....an off-duty police officer. My daughter's injuries were minor thank goodness - slight whiplash and concussion. But as what is usual for my life, I was not so lucky. I flew way faster and further than she. I whacked my head on the steering wheel really hard and could not move my neck or legs. Ambulance came, etc and I had to stay at the hospital for three long days and two nights. They wouldn't let me go until I could at least walk with a walker. I have swelling on my back and a pinched nerve which is making on of my legs receive radiating down it every so often. It really hurts.

My boyfriend contacted me also. He says he wants to forget about the entire conversation we had and just keep things the way they were. Long distance romance. I don't know what to do. He is a stand up guy. He apologized for the pain he caused me but said he loves me to much not to at least try to make it work out.

But now I find myself wondering what it is that I want. I made a list of things I want from a guy in a relationship and i don't expect him to have all of them just the majority. I also wrote down all the good things he offers me. It is scary to be on your own but that isn't a good enough reason to stay with someone. I need to figure this out because I am at a loss. Any thoughts?

All your advice is true with respect to my depression. Motivation is what is holding me back. I just keep thinking why bother doing anything because I'm still going to feel bad afterward. Very negative thinking I know. But I don't know what to do because my back injury will be holding me back from going to the gym. taking the dogs for a walk, etc. So now I have yet another reason/excuse to stay home and feel sorry for myself. I can feel my depression getting deeper and that I am slipping further in but I don't seem to mind that much either. But I want it to bother me. I want to stop slipping and instead do some climbing.

Kathy
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 2 years ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Kathy,

I am sorry to hear about your accident! I am glad your daughter is safe, but I'm sorry that you got hurt. I hope you are feeling yourself again very soon.

It's hard to get back into a relationship after you have been hurt. It means rebuilding your trust and letting your guard down again. It may be a good idea to try working on building your trust with him through a lot of talking and sharing. You can also learn more about rebuilding trust. Here is a link to help you:

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/recovery-and-repair/rebuilding-trust.html

Take it slow and give yourself time to reflect on your relationship. There is no hurry to get back into it, especially if it's long distance.

Your depression does bother you because you are willing to talk about it. That is a good sign. Until you mend, most of your work on how you feel will need to be internal. Changing your thinking is the best way. Ruminating on how you feel will only make you feel worse. Try to counter all the negative thoughts with good ones, making a list if you need to. Also, think of some things you can do to counter how you feel. Get creative and try a new hobby, call someone and talk for a while or do something nice for someone by sending them a surprise card or gift. Helping someone else can make it easier to take the focus of yourself.

Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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