I hope I answered all of your questions. Let me know if you have any further ones.
How do I get past the sexual thing? I really get down thinking I am not good enough, I am not attrative enough all these other women bring him more pleasure or provide better. I don't think it can be that since for 4 years its been fine but I am trying to understand it better?? This is the one thing that is making me weak that I am trying to understand?
What your boyfriend does is designed to make you feel bad about yourself and question yourself. As long as you are with him, he is going to use sex against you. He wants you to doubt yourself so you come to him for reassurance, making him the center of attention. He also wants to control you through withholding sex and making himself your only source for it, while he goes out and cheats.If you intend on staying with him, then accept that he is going to try to hurt you in this way. The key is to rise above it. Separate yourself emotionally from him and see what he does as about his issues and not you. But the best way to deal with it is to leave him. He is not going to change so what you see with him now is what you are going to have to live with. The more you try to understand why he does this, the deeper it will draw you in. Understanding him will not help you. Getting away from him will.Kate
I hope that answered your question. Let me know if you have more questions.