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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steven olsenhi steven. i put in for a transfer for

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hi for steven olsen hi steven. i put in for a transfer for day shift. i spoke to peter who told me he just hired 4 people for days and theres no positions. so i said it was posted? he said it didnt need to be...its in the outside advertisements. but i wouldnt as employee be looking at that would i? so i said oh. ok. so he said why dont you want to stay on nights? i said i was mandated like a week before i needed to go on nites  by the old director. i never asked for it. and im here a year and id like to make the switch... he said is there anything i should know about the nite shift? i said uh no... what do you mean? so he said any complaints? so i said no im just wanting to switch shifts. so of course you know where this is going... he meant if i have any complaints against me or write ups? i said oh no... i tried to tease him and say oh well colleen told me youd love for me to come to days... so he said well i didnt know. i said ok so he says well get the form and give it to michelle. the mgr on nites. i am concerned only cuz some mgrs get angry if they know you want to transfer to another unit. or possibly another shift... my old mgr at my other hosp was super pissed that i put in to transfer to the er. and she hated me so youd thinkk shed be freaking happy. i mean i def thought she would be and she said well you shouldve given me a heads up. if i was friendly with her. well yeah. but if you hate my guts i dont think i have to tell you all my life plans. i mean what if i didnt get the position? thats a big matzo ball hanging out.

 anyway i am of course afraid of retaliation. im also afraid of the recent threat placed against a white nurse on nites who was told by a philopeno nurse that 4 philopeno nurses on nites are out to get the white nurses. to make sure were always working to see if they can push us to f**k up. i feel threatened by this and since i wasnt directly threatened... i cant go to hr. although id be afraid to anyway. i just cant go thru what i did at my last place. 

i know that the chick before me was a playmate cuz the idiot ob told me so. oh did you see her in the waiting room? shes a playmate. me sitting in a paper dress with white socks and real breasts. thats when i said ok im outta here.

 dr b. well dr b is staying. and he was quite cutesy with me last night.. i was loose and didnt really talk too much with him... i did bang him with you didnt ans my text.. he said at the time he didnt know the ans yet... and was busy working... i was busy.. he was around. he did ask me to give a pt ear drops so they could start them and have them. i told him if i lose my license for dispensing meds.. im coming to live with him. and hell be responsible for all this - pointed to the in utero baby - and he said thats ok i need something to spend all my money on.... hmmn. what did you think of that comment? i told him id make a list and let him know...(stuff that i need) he then said oh itd be a for services rendered. i said ok. hit me what services? so he said well i need lots of massages... i almost laughed. if thats all i have to do im in.

 he spoke to me before he was leaving and i rementioned that btw i do have 2 lawyers cell phones to call at 3am cuz its much better if theyre ahead of the shit storm. and he said thats good to know...

dr a wasnt on - hes having family issues with the evil ex wife. dr bs wording.   i told him  i think dr a needs to leave his home issues at home and stop taking them out on people at work. i said hes damaged and this must be hard on him, but i think maybe he needs to speak to someone. to try to weather thru. dr b said to me yeah he should leave that home.

i told him im nice to dr a and hes snippy. and just in general moody to me. and frankly i dont need it. so he told me its normal that dr a worries what the nurses think of him. he - dr b worries about what the nurses think b/c were colleagues. i said look its nice to get along with colleagues but frankly youre laughing all the way to the bank really. so he said hey i didnt come froma  rich family. i said look im not saying that no one in my family i sin medicine or a dr.  but if in general the nurses liked me id be fine. not everyone likes each other. and i dont like his moodiness.  dr b told me he wnats u sto respect each other - the drs and nurses. i said i do respect dr a. but he doesnt respect me. he doesnt take my suggestions. and i dont thin i should have to keep going to him.  i told dr b you are respectful of me and i of you. and we have debated this guy this and that chick that.  but i respect you and you show other people respect and thats why you get it. with no drama.

he told me text me before you leave.. which i did but he was writing notes on the psych unit (the er drs cover psych at night. can you imagine?)

i had a bloody nbose last night and blood all down the front of my uniform and yet i still asked for my change of shift. we wear dark green.. but it was noticeable enough that colleen was like wtf happened? i told her its my blood and she was like jesus youre a hot mess.

oh and btw tmm1 texted me. hello. how are you today?

i guess i should forget about being called a bitch for no reason last week.

It is not fair, at all, that you do not have an internal posting for all positions. Most places have that, and why would an outside nurse have the "up" on one that is already established as an employee? That is not right, at all. As a matter of fact, where I work they have to exhaust the internal list before they try the outside one. Crazy what you have to face there.


Yes, there is always risk in putting in for a transfer. You never know how the manager will react. Although in most cases there is not retaliation, and as you are pretty low profile there, I doubt anything will happen. Besides you can say I put in my year and am looking to the future with my baby. That is a nice, neutral response.


Out to get the white nurses? Racial intimidation? Holy crap that is bad. That is called. "keep a digital recorder in your pocket"...I can believe this happens, but that is horrible. And, it is illegal and cruel. It is pathetic as well. Did this go on at the previous hospital too? I think you mentioned it before. I am so sorry you are going through that fear. That can make anyone feel like crap. It is so; personal.


Your prior ob/gyn sounds like a complete jerk. That is harsh, but I think the shoe fits there. Why on earth would he tell you about a patient's profession? And, what is the point of telling you she is a bunny? Like you would be impressed? I think not.


Dr b is staying huh? That is good for you Liz. He is a friend, albeit a weird one at times. At least he is friendly; and he is somewhat predictable. What did he mean about you giving him massages? I kind of doubt he meant the traditional kind. He is busting your chops very well there I think. And, the money comment. I think he just wanted to be impressive for a moment. I don't think he has the highest self esteem.


Now that you know dr you really think that his wife is really that evil/horrible. Perhaps she is just horribly, insightful.


Dr b sounds like the lackey of dr a sometimes. They act like brothers, with dr b wishing he was more like dr b. I get the impression dr b looks up to dr a a lot. And, the defense of dr a is incredible. He should pay dr b marketing/promotional fees. Dr b is your friend, but I also think that the illusion of all nurses need to love dr a is more a control thing for dr a than a real need. True, we should try to get along at work, but this press to like the doctors; it seems so much more than what it appears. Plus, it is two way street. If he does not respect you then how can you be told to respect him back? You can respect his position, but it is not easy to respect the man.


The ER docs cover psych a lot at night; I think that is true many places. They drove us nuts. Some thought the DSM was a drug, not a textbook.


You had a bloody nose? Just a random bloody nose? Does that happen to you often?


TMM serves his own reality. I am not sure what it is exactly, but it is not normal reality. He is the hot mess, not you. Steven




Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i think they are supposed to post the job. i think peter got flustered and i also think that they dont like anyone whos been to the rodeo before or around the block.... i didnt further push it not to start a fight with him.

i was going to say im falling asleep behind the wheel so i think its better if i go to days before i have serious car accident.
what? no good?

no the philopeno nurses here are pretty bad. the ones i worked with at my old job were at the end of their careers and retired a year or 2 after i started although they were very much eat their young types. they used to have me cover their breaks and give their 8 or 9 pts all the meds that were due while they were gone. so in an hour i was supposed to give 18 pts 2pm meds. finally a stop was put to that. i told them to give out their meds before or after. med surg youre not supposed to be doing anything to cover the other nurse other than a prn or stat med its too much.

anyway the white nurse who was warned put in for a transfer to i cu.
why should we have to leave? jenn said she thinks after the baby shell be doing the same. i told her do what you have to do.
colleen was excited for me to come to days so we can work together..
if i go to days i wont have 2 work 3 days in a row due to trying to avoid changing my sleeping/ waking cycle thruout the week. today i only slept 3 hrs. i woke up to the phone ringing and couldnt get back to sleep. it was just a reminder about my sono tomorrow but 3 hrs sleep is not good. i really ran around last night and mon nites are really bad at the er. thats another thing. i can work a thursday sometimes and maybe it wont be at the full throng of crazy... you know.
or i wont be stuck in the peds corner every day. maybe i can be triage or the fast track area which is the simpler treat and release people. like the you should be at a drs office people. morons.

it was a weird comment and i thought - and i could be wrong - it was a protective thing he was ill take care of you...and i asked him what hed prefer boy or girl. he hemmed and hawed but i could tell a boy. i told him girls are great they love their daddies. my daughters 27lbs and owns my father and my husband. and combined theyre almost 600lbs. shes got the 2 of them wrapped around her little finger.

but some men like their boys.. my brother is like that. i asked him if he hoped this one is a boy and he said i just hope this one isnt terrified of me.
guilt guilt guilt.

i blew my nose and it became bloody. then i was all stuffed with blood and tried to gently blow to help it - big mistake and i couldnt stop it 40 minutes. i had to hold pressure at the nsg station for like 40 minutes and try to type while doing it. its easier done than youd think b/c i can only type with only one hand anyway. i just got another one. itll take time to heal.

steven dont you write scripts?

that other ob gyn i think was impressed he saw some premium pussy now that i think of it all these years later...
then again if shes a bunny it was for sale and not exactly a highly guarded pussy. so maybe not so special....
either way it did make me feel bad. i felt like i wasnt good enough. and im at the dr. i had an abnormal pap when i was 19 and had to go for frequent paps one every 3 months for a year.. plus i had a bx and a removal of a dysplasia. which hurt like hell. essentially cervical ca but a low level. like the beginning changes. luckily no other issues i just had a pap at the beginning of my preg as usual...

and tmm. i dont know what to think. i saw him come on line and the sentence just popped up. i of course didnt answer and he signed off a few minutes later. i wanted to give a snide answer but i knew it would turn into an argument. and then id be roped back in to all this.

i spoke to my friend the clerk today and i wished i could tell him to tell the whole hosp how i beat the state thing so everyone would hear. i expressed that to him but told him not to do it. he said he wont - i know he wont - but i cant figure out why it matters what these people think. theyre not my friends obviously right?
and i dont know if im really cleared as the state said well were dropping this but we want you to do your own self correction... id rather a it wasnt proved and go with god kind of thing...

i have to go to get dressed. i really dont want to go but i have to. esp since im worried about calling out tomorrow for that special sonogram. which worries me. both the calling out and the actual sono. i hope the babys ok

steven what did you think of the whole thing peter said do you have any complaints or anything i should know? any write ups? it made me feel shitty like in a way they dont even know me there that i dont have those things.... sigh.

Shame about the job posting. That seems to be a grievance issue in my book, but you know your place best. And, what you said about shifting off nights for the sake of not dying behind the wheel...funny Liz, funny. (and probably the truth as it has happened before with you and I would like to know that you are not out there potentially driving a ton and a half CRV as a sleepy time death missile.)


Now based on everything that you have said about the lack of a job posting and all the trouble going on with some of the nurses, is it still a possibility that you can switch to daylight? I mean, is there a job open?


Boy and girls each have their advantages and disadvantages. I love all my kids, each differently. But you are right, for some, the sex is a paramount. If that "boy" is not there some families get all hairy about it. Truthfully my oldest can beat up most boys and is strong as can be, but I know what you are talking about with the boy fascination.


Nose bleeds suck. Once you get one they tend to keep coming back. I had one for almost a week, on and off each day a couple of years ago. Some people have to get them cauterized. No way. I hate the thought of that, although there is a lot worse.


Do I write scripts? No. Do you? (We would both go to jail.)


I saw a number of women who had exotic careers of different levels, ranging from strippers to high class bunny types. I would never think they were premium anything. Most of them had horrible self images and terrible lives. What the doctor did was nothing short of abuse and victimization, of her and of you. Let me guess. He still practices.


Tmm is like temptation. He shows up and tries to get you all furious and bothered and them leaves. Sad that he does this but great you do not fall for it.


is your attorney following up with that letter you mentioned? You should not have any consequences if there is nothing to prove. And, self correction is just a way for the State to save their own face too. You were proven innocent. And, you could tell people you trust about it...but then again, not too many people you know at work are worthy of that trust. Sometimes you knowing the truth is the best it can be.


The sono will take care of itself. You have to do what you have to do. Call off and go. I am sure the baby is okay.


Peter: He is a typical manager and I have been in his shoes. Often that discussion is simply about covering his butt. It doubt, really doubt it had anything to do with you. Guaranteed he is thinking if I bring Liz on daylight will there be something I do not know that will haunt me about it and I will get blamed. It isn't you Liz. It is him. He is just trying to save his own career and was not thinking about you. Sadly, most things people say are about themselves, in their own interest. But you can relax. This was not a reflection of negativity on you. Steven









Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hey steven.. i lost my huge response. i cant believe it. my computer froze. yep. piece of crap.
anyway i love the sleepy time death missile.
i did talk to michele the nite super who seemed fine with it... she asked me why and i told her that i dont see kate from sun nite til thur am.. and its hard on her. plus i fall asleep behind the wheel which she says oh not good. she tells me to go to hr to get the form. so i had a tough night with a pt who has a broken neck literally. she needs to keep this neck brace on otherwise she could become a quadraplegic. either way i finish a little late but figure ill see what time hr opens. its already 745 so i talkwith colleen not looking have my cover story you know? so i walk over and talk with them and they tyell me theres no list for days - you have to apply when theres a position. so im kind of upset and trying to decide what to do to fix this prob. should i call the union? well i walk back to the er and colleens like what happened? and i told her.. shes like call the union. meanwhile someone whos is a union rep is like tell the administrator keisha and she told me if theres anyone who wants to switch to let her know. but i dont trust this keisha and stay away from her b/c shes black. and i know plenty of great intelligent black people. but she seems like she was raised by a crack whore. she has a lisp and weird way of speaking. and shes lost her temper. she seems like a pig dressed up really. like she can afford a nice suit and has a masters but she cant hide her low class ness. so i tell her its ok.. i have to get going.
i left and cloced out at 830am - an hr after the shift. im worried peter will have noticed i didnt look sick - or that i was there so late b/c i knew i was going to call in you know?
i called in at 140pm... my dad advised me just call asap so they have time to get coverage. so i did and the charge gave me a hard time. oh well i have to call peter... i said ok.. she told me i was in the fast track area (the easy bullshit area... the 1st time ever.. i feel i will be punished for this now..)

meanwhile i had a pt faking seizures who was drug seeking. she was doing this whole eye twitching thing like lamb chops eye fluttering so stupid.. so dr a grabs her foot n its stiff apparently so he agrees with me this is fake but thinks the pt - get ready for this - did a good job at faking it. so i roll my eyes and tell him so what she should getan award? i said lots of women can fake alot of things well...
so he laughs (i guess hes in a good mood?) and says why is that? so i said well we dont want to hurt that precious ego you have going on there...
i mean steven honestly... i dont care enough to fake it. what does that say about me?

my sono i s ok. he said its wnl. i said like good wnl or like low borderline wnl? he said no its normal. then he said well see what the blood says. 2 weeks for that.

no i dont write scripts. but i know therapists who are phds who write scripts...

we had a 42 yr old guy who drove his car into a post in the er parking lot... we dragged him and got him onto a stretcher practically unconscious... they get him to trauma and hit the code button. hes twitching. i throw the pads on and look at the rhythm. its vtach. i look at the 3 er drs standing there and dr b says ok deliver 200 jules. we call out clear and banged this guy back alive in 1 shot. there were admitted pt nurses that came to watch and they were so surprised and in awe.. ali says to me. hes talking. i said yeah. thats what hes supposed to do. he talked about it for the next 30 min and i said maybe you should look into the er. and i could tell he doesnt have the confidence. he said oh no.. i dont know. i said ok think about it..
dr b and i said nothing about it. we let it go. pete the nurse said that he convinced dr b to stay by getting him strippers - so i said what? so dr b said he told me youd strip for me... i said oh please.. come on..

hey the bunnies have troubles. but in this economy you have to feed your family. and bet alot of them are nice girls. they just happen to be naked. hey youre naked under your sweater vest button down shirt and tie you doesnt make you a bad person.

tmm texted me yest while i was writing my original response.. he said hi how are you? i didnt answer.

if you were my mgr the conversation wouldve been just as bad? really?

the lawyers response to my email of questions..
1) You are only on the website if you have been found guilty of professional misconduct. You have not been found guilty of professional misconduct. Therefore, the charges against you will not be posted on OPD internet site.

2) I do not think they will change the wording of their letter. That is why I wrote my letter in response.

3) If a prospective employer asks you if you have ever had OPD charges brought against you. I would not lie, I would simply state that I was accused of presigning a document but the case was disposed and I was not found guilty of professional misconduct. However, if you are renewing our license your answer will depend on the question. For example, if you are asked if charges are currently pending, you would say no. If you were asked if you have ever been disciplined by the OPD, you will answer no.

Hope all your questions are answered.

yest i spoke to my friend kathy for almost 3 hrs. turns out - even though her husbands out of work - theyre going to disney world. their adopted daughter is 5 now. and its been hard for them hes been in and out of work.. shes been working pretty steady substitute teaching but of course she wants to stay home with the kid and she wants him to work... he wants to work too. hes the one who rob was trying to get him a job at his place in the marketing dept...
they havent contacted him...

anyway her mom has taken kathys sis and her husband and kids a couple of times to disney. well this time the mom wants to go to an alaskan cruise.. they dont want to go btw...
i would be happy to go personally. the kids are older i think like 8 and 11 and 14.. so maybe her mom thinks they should do something more grown up? but i found it odd the mother didnt say oh ill take kathys little family too esp since she hasnt taken them anywhere. or am i crazy?

so she then told kathy shell give her the money to go to disney.
so kathys happiest ive heard her in a long time... i actually thought that the next time we went wed see if we could help them with the trip so my little isabella would get to go. (i like to spoil her) and shes just an honestly nice good kid. not a malicious bone in her body.
and i know it would make her just so happy.
so shes now crunching numbers not sure what the amt of money will be. but the moms been to disney with the other kids in recent years so she must know the expensiveness im thinking. i feel like her sister is free loader.
i told her well start planning and once she knows the amt- im hoping they give them 4k.. i didnt say that but im thinking that should be the least - if she gives her 5k shell be in better shape of course...

ps colleen told peter. listen liz needs to come to days. so he said oh but theres no positions now... so she says why dont you want me to be happy peter?

i love colleen. im sure she said that in her dark sarcastic way too.

Hi, my computer is broken so I am writing this from somewhere else. I will have access tonight so I can write back then.


Customer: replied 5 years ago.
ok no prob steven. who broke your computer?

I can't say directly what happed because it is a police investigation, but I think you can probably figure it out based on the other posts. I was really ticked off as my personal information was on it and the thing is useless without the access codes...
I said something that you laughed at? I am impressed with myself...totally self coined. And, it made you laugh which is therapeutic in and of itself.

As far as the night shift and all your fun, you really do get into the stuff, from having to call off and get a finding that unless you have a posted position to apply to, which is can't get the job. Now that is totally a legitimate union grievance and I would certainly pursue it. You have a valid point and you want to do this for your sanity and family.

Sometimes I recommend just going with your gut instincts on the situation with the administrator. And, I have worked with those who are highly educated but couldn't act civil to save their lives. Personality does not discriminate when it comes to dysfunction and bizarreness. If you felt that you should say nothing, there was a good reason for it. Trust your instincts; they are solid.

Your dr a story is great. The comment you said to him was really funny. And, what does it say about you that you feel you do not have the motivation to fake it? Maybe the you are genuine?! I know a great number of males who would never want their loves to "fake" anything. And, If a man's ego is so fragile that he cannot cope with his own skill, or lack thereof, well...too bad. So, no faking.

Therapists who write scripts are jail birds here. Perhaps in NY they can write scripts as agent to a doctor? That is the only way I can think that happens. We are not medical personnel in PA, just health care. So, no doctoral level person can write meds.

Totally cool about the shock treatments (means a lot different in my field as ECT) But wow, that is cool. Just like on TV. I was in situations where I saw a lot of interesting stuff, but this, no. And it was you that did it. And, who is stripping for who? Dr b volunteered you?

Bunnies aren't naked. They have ears and a suit of sorts. What bunnies do you know who are naked? Heck, even the exotic dancers I saw in therapy wore clothes at work most of the time. They almost all had kids or were intending to.

If I was your manager your conversation probably would have been similar to the one you had with Peter. I hate to say it but my manager persona is pretty close to what he said. As a manager I tended to be the company line and look to try to minimize potential damage, so it did come across as somewhat self centered. Sad, but true.

The lawyer's questions were pretty solid in terms of answers. But I can't tell if that made you happy or not. Are you satisfied with this outcome?

Your friend's situation. That is not a bad deal to get any money to go to Disney on vacation! It is a little odd what you referenced about the Alaskan cruise; it doesn't sound bad, but there is that idea of why she did not think of the children. That is odd.

You do need to go to days. I agree. For your sanity and for your family. Go for it! And, do what you need to do to get it. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
so your computer wasnt stolen. but you cant access it? you mean someone was able to change the access codes and now you cant use it? and they can?

ok maybe i am wrong that phd can write scripts. i thought if they were phd they did and masters didnt...

so do you think peter or really michele will bust me for calling out sick? my plan is to stick to id been nauseated and vomiting and just couldnt come in.

i heard a rumor from colleen that this administrator keisha called the night mgr michele into the office and told her shes not a strong enough nurse to be the mgr. and they knew michele cuz she was an educator there so whyd they give her the position then?

well i used to fake at times. its easier than talking. sometimes it was my own fault.. alot of times it was theirs. lol.
and sometimes you know its not gonna happen and you have stuff to do.

dr b texted me that he was very sad last night (without me) and dr a was DEVASTATED. i said oh cuz he was on a breakthru on women and orgasms. i said if youre so sad you didnt see me one night how were you goingto leave and never see me again. he says i stayed just for you. so i say lol. so how r u going to keep me interested in you? and he says oh i grow on you like fungus.. so i told him apparently u and dr a need a lesson in women cuz women dont want fungus.
he told me dr a has proven me wrong...
i said well i dont want any fungus.
(or dr a..)
i told him he - dr a doesnt grow on women. theyre sold they think hes cute and a dr. what r we stupid?

pete the nurse said he convinced dr b to stay by getting him strippers i half heard but was able to get the gist but i wanted dr b to say it so i laughed and said what? so he said pete said youd strip for me to get me to stay...

yes the waitress bunnies i guess are dressed.. i meant the naked ones in the magazine.. or the dental floss wearing girls who are topless on a pole. i dont judge them. if i was thin and had to do it i would. and i guess im no better cuz i take alot of abuse and essentially am treated like a whore..
if i had any dignity or money id walk away and find something with quiet dignity.

i didnt shock the guy dr b did. i went to trauma and as the guys who were lifting him onto the trauma stretcher i had pads ready to get a rhythm. other rns were drawing labs and putting lines and others were pulling out meds. im quick with working the defib and slapping pads on is quick. bang bang. and hopefully shock shock.
the admitted nurses were gathered on the 2nd side of trauma (we have 3 trauma bays and 4 icu beds which we use for non trauma crashing pts but trauma is the 1st bed you get to thru the doors)
and were abuzz when they saw the guy came back. we shocked and i left when the guy was talking.

so youre saying as a mgr you dont know whos good and diligent and caring about their job and who isnt? dont you profile peoples personalities?
i mean i always try my best and work hard. i havent had complaints so far which i think says something. i hope the fake seizing lady doesnt complain. she was pretty annoying and i had flashbacks of my old job where i couldnt please anyone and worked so hard and my frustration. so i could see her saying something. i told pete the nurse he better back me up shes so annoying.

um i think i have no choice with the lawyer. shes saying she doesnt think theyre going to change the letter so she sent a letter correcting what it says which was essentially saying you dropped the case due to lack of evidence so.. we are disputing that.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
btw i have been booted from just ans so when we start the new question ill have a new account.

well kathys sisters kids are bigger than kathys kid. i find it odd that they havent taken kathys family on vacation when theyve taken the other family. i dont think thats fair. but the sis always has to go with the parents.
so they call their mom alice. so kathy tells the sister laughing ha ha have a good time with alice.. and the sister said shes going to be drinking those little bottles of alcohol thruout the trip. shell be sitting in one of the lifeboats drinking the shooters as she calls them. lol.
and kathys getting to go sans parents and says to me she didnt wnat to go thru what i did. i think i had the worst of both worlds cuz i paid for alot and had all the problems of it. see kathys parents are going to pay and you have problems well its free. next time is on our own.. or with another family - friends of ours...

maybe alice thought hey ive taken these kids all over and now shed like to go to alaska? i dont know. if shes paying for everything id just ask what time to show up. her mom is a little strict but shes nice enough. shes just rigid german. not evil like my mother.

or her mother. her mother is in the rehab facility and calling my mother non stop to come get her but the drs wont sign her out and if you go ama medicare doesnt pay. and more importantly my moms not going to see her or get her.
so she was calling my mom and trying to call lorraine my cousin and lorraine wasnt answering b/c shes at work. well grandma called my mom and apparently said such awful things my mother said she cant repeat them (this is the woman who said in front of people im a 2 dollar whore with all her singles at the pacu with my dad..) and i dont think my grandmother cursed.. i cant imagine what my grandmother said.. at least that would shock me..
rob said maybe it wasnt cursing maybe it was the content of what was said.
so my mom said shes never speaking to her again. and shes getting picked up on fri by my cousin.
when she said all these awful things she was using the phone at the nurses station so everyone heard. on top of that the screaming call was to tell my mother to tell lorraine to call her. so my mom said fine ill tell her. so my grandmother said shes going to wait at the nurses station. so my moms like u do that... so like 7 hrs later my mom says the social worker calls her and says your mother is still at the nurses station waiting for lorraines call. and she said the social worker sounded like she was in tears.. she told her i dont know what to do with her etc. so my mom told her drug her.
well my grandmother called and apologized so nicely the next day my mother said. and her voice sounded like she was 45 or 50 my mom said. i said maybe theyre medicating her?
and she told her to tell lorraine the same thing and that shes trying to call her to tell her herself.
she said that her mother has never apologized- she either lies and says that never happened or she blows it off - rob was sitting next to me and we sideways glanced btw. i said nothing cuz uh gee where does she get that from?
and my grandmother never loved me the way my mom loves kate thats for sure.

can u make any sense of this? i feel like ive lost my mind with them.
my mom says shes crazy - my grandmother. my dad says in response- shes not crazy - shes 94 but shes still sharp. thats how shes always been...
i agree with him.
she also told them she hopes to meet kate before she dies. which of course makes me feel guilty..

so dr b is still texting me - apparently in between his video games..he said dr a is a legend. i told him your comment about he couldnt get a pr firm to talk him up as much as he does.. i said and are u a legend? he answered back.. no a myth...
uh can we say we have self esteem issues?
so i challenged hima nd said ur very accomplished and good at ur job with a good personality and good looking.. so y would u have self esteem issues?
well see what he says. no ans yet..

Let’s just say that it is hard to live without a computer. It stinks. But, I am back and running now with an even better one. Let’s just hope this one remains functional.
I really do not think that Peter and Michele will “bust” you for being sick. This stuff happens and is easily forgotten. With their loads and demands administratively, this call off will go by the wayside very quickly. Relax.

Okay, about Michele: It is just plain bad management to set up an employee to fail. Why put them in the position in the first place? It makes no sense, unless the person who put them there is vacant or as is sometimes done, the person is placed so they can fail and be gone.

You fake it? For shame. I think I have lost all respect for you. lol

Dr a proved you wrong? How is that exactly? And dr and b, when you think about it, are really somewhat of fungus types already. They show up when you least expect them; need a lot of preventative intervention, and then they keep coming back…even if you do not want them to. So dr b stayed because of you? If that is true then he should make good in his offer to support you financially. I would ask him to. It is the least he can do. Maybe dr b stayed to see Pete strip? It is a thought, and it could explain much. Lol

Quiet dignity? What sort of a job is that? Maybe you could be a therapist? We are somewhat quiet and subtle. I am not sure you could stand the lack of stimulus though. I think at heart you are somewhat of a stimulus junkie. I really think, now that I have had some time to really think about it…you like the interaction and intensity (sometimes) of nursing. You also do well in it as you seem best when there is an emergency and you have to think on your feet.

I did misread who shocked who. You handled the paddles? I get it now. Still. That would freak a lot of people out, especially seeing the dead rise back to life. And then you left the room. You are used to this intensity level aren’t you?

Your opinion of me will fall after this: No, I really do not profile the people who work for me. I do hire nothing but neurotics as they do the best jobs and are never happy with themselves. They are very autonomous mostly and yes…as long as they do not do anything stupid I like them. So, I do feel when they try to make a change, one of my questions often is: have you screwed up and will you bring that issue with you? It is not personal, but I do think it is managerial.

I will look for your new JA identity.

The whole thing about Alice and Kathy: It is hard to tell who is doing what here for what purpose. I do agree with you that sometimes it is just easier to go by one’s own self than to take the extended family; you certainly paid for that recently. And it may be worth the extra cost now that you look back on what happened to you with the extended family at Disney. But if someone is paying my way on a vacation I would not look that gift horse in the mouth. I would, like you, take the offer. So what if it is Alaska or Hawaii or Bangladesh. It is still a free vacation. Maybe she is sick of Disney. Heck, she wants to pay money to have family go? That is wonderful in an of itself. That is terrific. Take it I say.

Ouch, that interaction with your mom sounded painful. It does make you wonder what was said doesn’t it? And, I would bet it was a lot worse than just swearing. Usually those types of never again conversations include a lot of deeply hurtful and character destroying stuff. That is the kind of thing we most hurt about, when someone tells you lies about your own character, especially things that one fears, such as everyone thinks you are…whatever.

The sudden unexpected character change in grandma? You guessed same as I did. It was the medications that helped. People do not change this fast. Sudden 180 reversals are often the medications talking. She sounds, sadly, emotionally reactive and even a bit suspicious. If it is biochemical, psych medications can cure that in a couple of hours. Perhaps what has been seen in grandma is some organicity. It seems that way to me. She is not crazy foe certain, not if she is so sharp, but islands of emotional instability are not uncommon, and can exist for many reasons. (Some circulatory, some medical, some just age.) I have seen this before and I am certain G ma is capacitated, but also not well focused in some areas such as emotional logic.
I hope that grandma gets to meet Kate too. Who knows: If the medications, if that is what happened, were this effective, then perhaps she can be trusted to talk with you and Kate. Would you consider taking her?

Dr b: He is insecure, the kind that comes from emotional abuse. He was picked on as a kid. I would put money on it. Ask to see a picture of him as a teen. It will tell you a lot. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
well i can see being busted when they do the review for 3 months blah blah and calling me in like they did about the 701pm thing.
like at the end of june ill be called in for this crap.

no i dont fake it. not anymore. whe n i was younger i did. now i dont give a shit. and i def didnt fake it twice last night...

well yes maybe the drs a and b are fungi. maybe thats why they hang out together...

yeah i dont think therapist is even quiet dignity with the detoxing and the nut jobs..i think of something thats office based thats a 9 to 5 take a lunch break and you work quietly without anything other than small talk with people in the hallway..
and walk to your car and you drive away. its monotonous and no one really asks you about it.. or even knows what you do b/c maybe its so obscure or boring..

i handled the pads. it used to eb the male physicians would literally shock the pt with the paddles. why? b/c it was reccomended that 25 lbs of pressure was placed down on the pts chest. the stretchers are high and usually if i do cpr and im tall i will have my knees on the mattress to give me leverage with my ankles crossed behind me if you could imagine. we wear scrubs now as the educator who treated so badly at my old job and she said you girls dont have to worry that your assess will be hanging out when you do this (they used to wear dresses and apparently there was an ass concern? alot of time s you see more on the females than you should in these situations due to what were doing and the looseness of the clothes - i rememeber one time i was over a pt and apprently alot of cleavage was being shown b/c my shirt shifted in the cpr effort. but our aides didnt do cpr and i was one of the stronger nurses as we were also all female..)

anyway its the nurses who put people on the monitor and drs are usually just standing back while we work and giving orders. they dont usually even intubate at this place they wait for resp. which i find weird.. id go and intubate cuz.. why not? ive been trained to intubate a neonate... why wouldnt i intubate an adult? much easier..
so i dont use paddles theyre dangerous as people would be leaning and be touching pts - and shocking themselves. although they are still there for the old school drs. the pads are multi use now - it give you the rhythm, can defibrillate, and pace the hear externally if you have a low perfusing heart rate. anyway i put the pads the rhythm was there and i said nothing. dr b was standing next to dr a and said ok deliver 200 jules. to me im assuming as i was working the machine. i said im clear your clear were all clear i looked and saw no one was touching the pt and delivered the shock. the guy came back and i stayed prob a pretty short amt of time cuz im a ghoul. the guy was talking and there wasnt much to do other than to get lines placed and start antiarrythmics.

yeah steven ive been at alot of codes. on the floor where i used to work we had alot and the er is no different.
youve known me for over a year now and now you think im an adrenaline junkie?

so you do profile. you know you purposely hire neurotics. and just b/c i want to go to days doenst mean ive screwed up. i just want to work days thats it.

i am not getting roped backed into G - MA. i said it to rob right after kate was born (and i was post partum hormonal) oh maybe we should go. rob said the next week well be right back where we started. she drinks vodka at night with ambien and falls. she wears the button that you press when youve fallen and you cant get up? well then they call 911. then ems cant get in and calls for fdny. well they bust the door down. so then my mom goes to the hosp to be with stupid g-ma. who btw has never broken a bone in all these incidents - i have to stay at teh house and guard it in this scary neighborhood with no door protecting me from getting killed- i told them last time im hiding in a closet and whatever happens in this place happens cuz im not fighting off criminals - and my husband and my father go to home depot - the 24hr one and buy a new front door and then have to put it on the hinges and put the locks and everything. this is 4 adults who are engaged in not sleeping for a drunk who treats us like shit.
then you have to run around bringing clothes which is what i would do- and meet them at the hosp- and then transfer her belongings to the rehab that she complained how we didnt care and that was when we did all this stuff. and realize we took my grandfather to all these appointments and her too and all over the place. shed need a baby gift for this cousin and her food shopping shes having this one over or that one.. forget it. id be running like mad. and no matter how much you do.. its not enough.
the day i was to meet my husbands parents - it was his bday- and she told me i shouldnt go b/c my blouse made me look fat. i was so worked into a thing by the time we were going you dont know.

its been about 7 years since my mother and i put our foot down and said were not doing all this anymore. my mom has 2 other sisters and they have 5 more kids between them plus they have kids. and we were doing everything b/c they live in ohio, in oklahoma, upstate, chicago etc. and then they call and dictate to us after she would call and complain about us. so who needs it? im busy and have enough dead weight around my neck.
and shes just lie my mother nasty and uses things against you- things you confided, or a mistake she knows about. like one time i burned myself cooking as a teenager and the bitch said the next time try not to burn yourself - sarcastically.
i try not to engage with my mother to keep these things off the table now.. but she still does things to me. or just gets nasty for no reason.

well i found dr bs middle name is XXXXX XXXXX his 1st name is XXXXX XXXXX common one but still..
he said h was playing call of duty.. i said yeah right we all know youre playing mario kart.. i told him its ok i wont tell anyone..
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
oh and tmm is instant messaging me several different smiley faces...

They could call you on the carpet for call offs, but it was legitimate and you did have doctor’s excuses and so forth and you are pregnant. That is deterrent enough for them to be gentler on you. They may warn you, but I really doubt it will go any further than that. You are low maintenance and they know it. They are not going too far, really.
Now I get a summary of your fake vs real experiences as well as a number…hmmm, I am not sure of what to make of that.

Fungus fits, although one is more a nuisance fungus and the other is more dangerous, like in the walls black mold. You breathe it too much you get really sick. That seems accurate, yes.

Alcohol and other drug therapists are a separate world in the field; they even have separate credentials. So, if you want to stay away from that end of the field you can. I always did. You sound like you want to work in an IT dept as an administrator. They make chit chat; tell people stuff they cannot understand and generally go home when everyone else does. The bad stuff they leave to the techs. So, how about it? A career in IT may be your ticket out of nursing. (Frankly I just cannot see it. You need the crazy stimulus of health care, face to face and live.)

I have to say your CPR description was interesting. I guess I never did think about wardrobe malfunctions as a part of your career. But, now that you mention it…yeah, I can picture having to lose dignity doing CPR. But then again you are saving a life and who cares if you are doing that?

I really do appreciate the fact that you like excitement in your job, and no, it was not a surprise. I do see you always craving a faster set of circumstances than what appeals to most in your job. But, I guess with all the comments that you make about the work, and the worry and the anxiety and the pain and the people…sometimes it seems like you hate it. But reality is that you love being a nurse and I do not ever see you teaching or doing much else. It is your gift and you are good at it.

After I read your description of grandma and her comments and the situations and the total insanity of what she makes you all go through; I just had one thing cross my mind. I get it. I get why you would not want to deal with her. She is a pain person, someone who causes so much pain because she has insight into what hurts people and she does not hesitate to use it to do so. That is what happens to the therapists who go bad in this field, and insight is a natural gift, but how she uses her “gift” and how she is alcohol dependent; well, those two together make for a nightmare grandma. I can see why you avoid her. It is like hugging a porcupine. It is so sad that your mother takes after her in so many ways and that you get stuck holding the bitterness that they both throw around so easily.

So dr B’s name is Umberto? You know that means “Famous Giant”, seriously. That is hysterical. Mario Kart? What is wrong with Mario Cart, when Call of Duty is broken (Pretty cool game I must say. Ask him if he plays Civilization. I’ll bet he does.) Mario Cart works for a man, right? It has racing and adventure and crashes and cartoon mayhem, a real Famous Giant’s game.

TMM is baaaccckkk. He is a scary man. And you told me you hate emoticons. He must not know, or he does and does not care. He is incredibly creepy don’t you think?
Your new name? Well, I laughed that is for certain, but somehow I think something a tad more subtle might be better. Right?

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
you think im low maintenance?
ok now im going to make rob read this. seriously.
i think i used to be more hi maintenance but esp since kate or even after a few yrs of marriage... well you dont get the compliments or the flowers.. they still grunt at you though..

oh did i embarass you that i didnt fake it twice last night?
ok the 3rd time i had to fake it cuz i was really done by that point...

rob could work in it. i dont know a motherboard from ...i dont know. but i just dont. rob built his whole computer at his old job b/c his was messing up and it couldnt fix it. so they said they couldnt buy him a computer. the co couldntr afford it. so he was a hobo using other people computers while he used his misc budget every week to buy a piece of his computer. which lead to him building his computer. and it was custom. it took him like 10 weeks to be able to buy everything.. but he had a really cool computer by the end and every1 was jealous.
ok they really are nerds.
rob brags about that the way my dad brags that con ed had to buy him a special truck b/c of his height and ada laws or something. my dad takes care of that truck the way he does his personal car. he brings it to the co mechanics for tire rotations and washes it in the big car / truck wash.. pls its crazy. another 6ft 7 or 6ft 5 guy uses the truck too..
he buys air filters for it strauss auto.
my mother says he loves the truck and his infiniti more than her.
i almost said theyre dependable and dont bust his balls who can blame him?

you think im crazy. see? its all relative. and the scary part is theyre all related to me.
steven if you came and were invisible... and heard and saw all this bullshit. well you may laugh for awhile. then youd be crying on the inside. i decided long ago if i was to flip i would kill every1 in the family. cuz im not sleeping on cot for any of them to visit you know? plus it would show my dedication.
imagine me getting killed for hummels and a plastic covered couch? seriously. how can you be over 85 and fall like every 2 months and not break anything? ever.
or die from all the radiation from all the xrays?
my grandmother is manipulative i feel- like she didnt want me to leave so her goal was to get rob to just go and for me to stay. i was pretty thin too. and if i was fat. so? id be afraid for her to see me now as i am heavier and even preg.. well id get shoes busted.
do you need to eat that?
yes im preg.

ok now my mother is more hurtful and cruel and uses things against you. my grandmother is a more basic insult artist where my mom seems to really know how to go after me esp.
my brother was horrified when my mom had icu psychosis - she would call me a whore in front of everyone. and just spew venom. and she somehow never had that to say to him. isnt it funny how that proved the inner thoughts she had?
she called my dad a number of names that would make him simply walk out. my brother once said to her soon after how she was absolutely disgusting towards me. and she just shrugged it off. now if she was just confused she would say it to everyone. but somehow she didnt have it to say to my brother. she called the nurses bitches and fat and lazy (all pretty true ironically i was very unhappy with her care esp since they knew i was an rn..)
i know now my bro but def my father didnt really know went on between us.

now i took care of my mother. she was in a coma for 6 weeks. and i took emergency vac and leave. and a pt in the icu for a long time told my dad that a million dollars couldnt have bought the care i provided her.. and the other pts there. i never slept once and i was there all night. and i would make dinner for 8 before going to the hosp and bring it to the hosp.
and she was in a 4 bedded room and you would think the nurse would sit in there with them. nope.
i would be there helping all the pts.

i would prefer to have to hug a porcupine really. i wish i could record what happens and send it to you. just b/c i dont feel i can express it well enough typed. i also dont know if im jaded about it.

my mom was supposed to die - she had ecoli poisening and well obviously she didnt but it was expected. my husband of few words said..of course she didnt die. heaven wasnt having her and hell was afraid shed take over.
he said that of my grandmother to my mom and my mom was like yeah. she said if i cry when my mother dies rob just slap me hard across the face.
i think she didnt tell me cuz maybe shed realize id be looking for an opportunity to hit her back.

dr bs 1st name is XXXXX XXXXX call him joe.

well i think kids and girls play mario kart.
i didnt know of like a disney princess game to tease him about. but that was essentially what i was trying to say.
i hate call f duty. all the ptsd and none of the real heroism. please people grow a set.
i made rob stop playing when kate and i around b/c the sounds scare the bejesus out of her. i mean she was a f**king infant.
if you want to be a man be one in real life not in a video game.

and yes i think dr b should buy me gifts. why? i dont know. i just do. lol. so there.

tmm has messaged me again now and says a very suave and well thought out 'hey there'
well thats totally won me over.
ill totally forget the rejection of him telling me he wont leave his wife.i never told tmm i think emoticons were stupid. i didntoppose them the way i do now. i just find them annoying. like the smiley is ok. but the ones that have eyes rolling or tongues hanging out... really stupid.

ok ill take your suggestion for the new name. btw you know my email is my original name
just in case.
ok so how about steven olsens naughty nightime nurse?
ok good glad you agree setting up my new account now...

Low maintenance? I don’t think you are high on that list. You just need a good sounding board. You certainly can handle the rest. Sometimes you just need a reality check, just like most of us.

Embarrass me? No. But I have to give Rob credit. Two is pretty good, even with a third “fake”.

Each of us guys has a nerdy side I think. There are lots of guys in the business and engineering world who build their own computer systems from scratch, but Rob sounds like he did a bang up job on his computer scratch build. Truck proud? Coming from a blue collar background myself I really get that. I mean, it literally is his truck and it is custom. Awesome, so he, as a man, must take care of it. Plus it doesn’t have a voice box, so it can’t say anything back.

You know. I believe you about your family. There are things in families that you just have to see to believe and at first the things seem weird, then funny, then pathetic. I can see how you might feel that someone would have to see this all to fully grasp it. I think I do, but only because I have been there before with others who have similar family dynamics. The one you came from is themed with control and insecurity. This lets all sorts of emotional and verbal abuse in the mix. Mom, as you said, let her inner heart out when she was in the ICM with psychosis. Everyone got to see the internal dialogue that goes through her head. That is why it is not surprising to see how she treats you in the “capitated” world. She is very hurt and damaged.


And, I do not need you to tape her. I really do get her personality and how she is. You convey it well in writing. It is that combination of insightful emotional aggression and hurtfulness, combined with a lack of warmth toward you that really completes her profile. It must be really hard to be betrayed by her. She is your mother, but her emotional profile is so dangerously harmful. You have to have a really thick skin to even be around her I would think.

Ah, I guess I do get the hint that you are not impressed with guys who play Call of Duty? What if they are heroes in real life and play Call of Duty? Would that make a difference?
You and gifts, lol…you mention them a lot. Flowers and attention and jewelry and so on; you like to be lavished upon…you should have been born in a different era, maybe the middle ages. (Guys fighting with swords for your honor perhaps? The prize of the winner? )

TMM, sigh…what is there really to say about him.? He is so debonair. It must be hard to resist his text messaging charms.
SONNN? I think that would not be appropriate. Steven (I will look for your new identity.)

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i guess im low on the list. i am def not a fairy princess. ah. thats what i shouldve been when i grew up.
i texted rob i changed a poop diaper that was man sized yest. i mean i should be getting mother of the year for what happened in that.
i feel bad i never tell kate like uh oh or anything i just say ok lets change you but kate apologizes for her poop diaper. sorry mama sorry. i tell her its ok sweetie every1 poops. but she says it all the time.

ok we only had sex twice and a good time was had by all. if we did a 3rd i wouldnt have faked it. lol. cuz i really dont fake it.

i actually think it was more clever of rob - not that he built the computer - but that when they told him no, he was clever enough to max out the misc budget at the co to get his computer. thats impressive. although i have found diff ways to skin a cat at times and can negotiate things to an extent with drs and pts.
thank god dr b is pretty much wrapped around my finger..

yeah my dad worked 2 jobs for alot of years. windows and siding, the hot dog truck, building decks etc. now he just pulls 6 days a week at con ed. plus he loves to pull a double. except on mon. rthats when kate is over. and he tells them the babys there and i dont want to leave late. and they pretty much accomodate him. he races home from the city and takes kate to the park or whatever, or wherever. the store, just a walk. and it seems to make him happy. i wonder how theyll feel about this new one and if theyll love it as much.
well we'll see i guess.

everything my mom said was brushed off as shes confused. the drs said she had psychosis. so free pass...

i still worry maybe im not objective enough when i describe things. people interpret things so it always comes across from their point of view i think. so thats why i wonder if im good at being fair at saying everything. i def know this. i didnt feel loved. i didnt like my mom. i felt scared all the time. i felt like i was on eggshells. my dad and i have to tip toe around and cant just live.
i didnt feel smart or that i could say something or really go to them. i did tell my dad sometimes what i was going thru but basically all his advice was suck it up. its too bad and just muddle thru and suffer. man up. which ill tell you im kind of tired of. how long does one need to suffer for their real life to start?

i do feel like i could be fired from this job any minute. colleen feels pretty secure there b/c she says this other nurse angela has killed 2 pts and nothings happened to her. but i dont trust what happens to other people. cuz i know what happens to me.

i really dont think that military men who actually shoot things play call of duty. you know why? just as much i can bet you drs dont play operation at home.
my mothers cousin whos now a commercial airline pilot the captain for south west - he did several tours in vietnam. he flew the 1st helicopters and he used to go into the battles to rescue the injured guys or to rush them out if things were too nasty. he was in the military for over 25 years i know. i dont know what his last title was but he was decorated. the reason i dont know anything? he didnt brag and he didnt talk about it. he simply said i was all i could be for the united states military. i remember he came for my wedding and i had "the vapors" it was 105 degrees out in a huge wedding dress that was bustled. well i was in heat stroke. i was dry heaving and just couldnt cool off. i was on the side of the building trying to hide and he came walking by and just stumbled upon me. and he walked me inside and got me water and talked very calmly and sat me down and said not too much other than the bride has the vapors. and when the photographer said i had to do something he said to the photographer shes not going anywhere. and i didnt for awhile. i think there may have been a whisper of shes preg but obviously i wasnt as kate was born i was married like 5 years already.

tmm. no text or anything today. he was online like 3 times yest. ugh. meanwhile im hanging around the house due to how bad my nausea is. today i was pretty close to vomiting a few times...

i like the acronym. good idea. hmm. still trying to come up with a new name.i mean they only last like 6 weeks now. sigh. its so much work.
so SONNN. YOU NO LIKEY? aw come on steven you dont like having a fan club?

I wish my kids apologized for poopy diapers. They never did and I envy your Kate's insight, even if she isn't fully toilet trained.


And, I am so glad you don't fake it. It makes me feel, better somehow, lol


It is great how Rob flew under the radar on that computer hobo issue they put him through. He managed to stay in line with the company budget and make himself a better than what everyone else had computer. That is pretty smart. I wonder. Was he one of those guys in college that just showed up for class and somehow just knew stuff for the tests? That is what he sounds like he is. But, can he explain stuff or does he just understand it?


Your father sound like he just loves Kate and I will bet he loves this baby, although each child has a role in the family that is unique to them.. I can't explain it. You have to experience it with the relatives. Each one (relative) tends to pick a favorite and balance off any relative who favors the first born. It is odd, but usually true.


Your feelings are not something to chalk up to perception issues. You feel as you do because you see things realistically. Unless it is pure worry, I can tell you that you almost never see things (from my perspective professionally) in an inaccurate way. But I will say that dysfunction in a family can make you feel that you are the odd one out, the one with the crazy perceptions. You are not though.


As far as being fired, that is just your trauma talking. You do a very good job for them. You might get yelled at for various reasons but they are not going to get rid of you. Plus, the other big ax over your head is now gone. Any word on daylight shift approval?


Your mother's cousin sound like a class act. You need people like him to run interference and to keep things sane. I will say that most of the therapists that I know do not play operation, but I do have this really cool game called therapy that I like to play with friends. You have this little couch and go around a gameboard. Okay, so that's weird, but hey...I have my idiosyncrasies.


Tmm the stalker. He really makes me think about mental health disorders whenever you mention him. He seems so, obsessed, and not in a complementary, kind way either.


You can call yourself anything you want, It is your choice, but I would like something that represents you, not me. Of course, you, busting my chops really is you. Steven

Steven Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
yeah ive been talking up the potty but kate doesnt seem ready. like i show her the potty and she sees me go.. b/c she barges in. rob says im wrong to not lock the door but she gets anxious if she cant get in. even when i shower she comes by, peeks at me... and says mommy taking bath.
i dont really see anything wrong as its just like shes curious.

now now steven i would never ever fake it baby.

the computer i felt bad rob had to leave it there although it was a few years old by then. i know it was good b/c he put a faster ram i think b/c engineering programs bog down your computer b/c they do all CAD work- and when they load it it goes slow..they also have the huge printers that print blue prints..
rob not only understands he can explain. ive heard him explain to me - to kate to my parents, to like my friends husband stuff (whos out of work, hes smart too hes a paralegal but wont use it cuz he hates lawyers.. he told me like shit liz hes a genius. i said yeah i know.) rob is someone who would be a good teacher. and hes generally not hot headed and is pretty patient. hes very good at teaching math as his mother was trying to teach the boys she watches and she was like im confused they changed the math.. and rob was at work she called him and put him on speaker and they learned their math. they also had to do an electricity thing with how to complete a circuit and then build it which rob did after work when he went to pick up kate one night..

rob is generally not impressed with kate and her smartness - he says shes clever.. but today she impressed him. i told her we needed to put on sunblock and give me a few min as i was packing the diaper bag - we were going to adventureland the amusement park - and she went to rob and had gotten the sunblock off the kitchen table and brought it to him to put it on so we could go. and i didnt tell her oh here or go get it on the table. i was in the hallway and didnt see she did it. and then she came trotting back with the can and i was pretty shocked. rob was like oh crap. and even he told her good girl and was impressed.
she went on all the rides and even this roller coaster that was really fast. she went on 4 times and said whee thats fun as we were getting off. the other funny thing she called this ride it was big puppies that you sit in like the dumbo ride.. well we asked her what puppy and she said the cow one (theyre all diff colors.. brown, yellow, black, and white with spots..) and i was like the cow one and rob said she means the dalmation. i found that a clever way for her to express herself.

kate was waiting for the roller coaster with rob and this black guy was trying toget his MR son onto this ride and the boy whos big btw looks to be 14- 16 years old. well the boy chickens out and didnt make a fuss but simply was like no im not going and started out the exit. at a normal pace. well the father is telling him loud and nasty we just waited on ine just get on the ride and while i get his frustration he had other kids and the wife who did get on.. well then everyones waiting and the fathers ignoring the ride operator whos just standing there waiting. well then father explodes screaming thsi i sbulshit i knew i shouldve f**king left you home, you always do this shit etc. the ids juts standing there kind of seeming like hes not listening. i dont know if hes autistic o r if he just retreats to his happy place when it get s too bad outside for him. i felt awful besides the fact that kate is there getting subjected to this guy s anger and obscenities. i also felt lik he seemed to be seething like he was going to lose control and i didnt want my family in the wrong place at the wrong time. i stood essentially as a shield between kate and trhis guy - there were other people but i still got myself in between. i waited biding my time deciding is he going to walk away or are we leaving from the spot we were in right now. he uckily waled away with this poor boy and i felt bad or both really although i feel like leave my kid out of it. either way i had my back up was ready to fight this guy.

i know about the roles for the ids. as stephen my brother and i had very different experiences in the same family. b/c hes a boy apparently. i dont know how or why my role was assigned..

how do you know i dont see things in an inaccurate way? couldnt it be the way i see it and explain it is the way i interpreted it?

no word on daytlight. i didnt even send he form as i was told until theres a position i cant put it in..

ray is a class act. we dont see him much.. but he used to live in hawaii with his wife no children, now hes in orlando but they havent been up since my brothers wedding.the time before that my wedding - 5 years before.

my trauma. well the hosp just fired one of our better tele techs this past week. sigh. ifeel awful.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i dont see why i need to be yelled at. i get dumped on there while other nurses are sitting and i was mandated to nights and newer nurses who came went straight to days and theyre weaker nurses than me. and i stayed and just did what i had to do on nights.

tmm. i dont get it really. as far as i can tell its like he wants to be friends? like if were friends then i guess he doesnt have to feel guilty? like he was such a piece of shit? cuz if he wasnt such a piece of shit... well then id be friends with him right?
or it could be a way to just keep tabs on me. why? i dont see why i matter in any way. unless he wants to be able to feel like he may still have the option of being with me even if it never happens im still around?
of course then again i used to be pretty available and it was him who didnt respond or would say hes too busy blah blah. and now the tables are turned. hes retired and i wont give him the time of day. i used to kind of want him to retire to have more time but then i thought it would be bad for him. i told him he should just work a 40 hr week instead of 57. its not quite part time of course but 17 hrs shaved off your week would help i would think..

ok so is that a vote for the name ball buster?

Nothing at all wrong with Kate seeing you in the shower at her very young age. Boundaries can be set later, but many developmental folks feel that with hygiene, including potty training and baths and showers, that children learn well from seeing the same sex use the "facilties". Seeing you go to the bathroom at her age encourages modeling. And, if you have a boy for the next one, studies show that Rob will be able to teach the boy how to use the toilet faster if he models appropriate behaviors.


Kate does sound very, very bright. Rob sounds like he is off the charts bright too. It is uncommon to find high intelligence also combined with high patience and high educational ability. That is a rare combination at that level and speaks volumes about his innate abilities.


I truly hate it when an adult treats anyone badly in public let alone a child who is mentally challenged. Caregiver stress is powerful, but this man sounds like he really lost it. And, that kind of behavior is not good for anyone, especially anyone who witnesses it. We all have control of our anger as it is secondary emotion. Yes, some people do have impulse control issues in this regard but they too can be helped. Generally speaking the type of behavior that this man exhibited was preventable. And, he needs a reality check.


How do I know that you see things accurately? It is not what you say, but rather the eventual outcome. With your family, you call it and it happens. Can you tell me many times that what you told me was going to occur, did not? It usually does. So, that is where I get my conclusions.


That sucks about daylight and that sounds like a grievance. How can they hire outside without letting you know first? That is unfair and it costs you a position until one opens. You are so right. You got dumped on and isn't your union supposed to stand up for tis type of thing? And most unions have bump rights. If a recent hire was on daylight don't you have a shot at bumping them out. We do.


The hospital fired a tele tech; well okay, but you have give them no grounds to fire you. So, relax. You have been through it. Give yourself a gentle break in the anxiety action. You are doing well at this place. Aside from some day to day weirdness that all people face, you have done very well.


I don't feel that logic really works for TMM. I mean, really. He has violated almost every psychology theory in the book at this point. Who really knows why he keeps this up, or even more oddly...why and what he wants. Friendship? I can't believe that this is a path to friendship, or relationship. The best path he mimics is serial stalker and I am not joking.


If you want the name ball buster, why not. Just put mountain mommy ball buster and I like it. Steven

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
ha. well i have thought its good to do the whole this is how girls pee thing.
as far as rob i just got him appropriately potty trained so there may be hope for the boy. maybe. alot of men miss somehow though i never got that. i used to have the boys i potty trained when i was babysitting pee at the cheerio in the toilet. girls i used to bribe with girl stickers. girls love glitter and f**king stickers.

yeah i kind of knew rob is bright. but youve said it before anyway. too bad he doesnt have as much patience for me as he does other people.

when i came i last night i was told an old man was looking for me. he had a card. i said did he have a gun? or a knife he was brandishing? so theyre like no. so i said well i feel a little worried. the day shift charge nurse said it does seem weird but we told him youre on tonight. i said oh great thx guys. i havent been stabbed yet this preg guys. youre the best.
so sure enough 10 min into the action the od man shows up. he says its his 1st name. and im like so howd you do etc etc. trying to just be pleasant as i dont remember the pt. he said oh you saved my life thank you etc. it finally dawns on me when he says i stayed at the va for over a week i had a pulmonary embolism. so i told him im so glad hes ok. hes the guy i sent in the cab. so he gives me the card and i tell him it wasnt necessary to come but im happy to hear how hes doing etc. hes 90 steven. he came by himself and walked in and out. so a little bit later i open the card and theres 2 100 dollar bills. i had the card on top of the station 1st but then quickly ducked it under.
no one else was near me. i put the card in my purse and asked wendy whgat should i do? she says no one knows just accept it and leave it at that. i said it could be unethical etc. she says look he already left. i said i could pull his name address and mail a check. or the cash. so she and i debate hippa and violations. so she said look just keep it. hed be insulted.
so i have the money here and well waiting for your expert opinion...

meanwhile michele did a cold walk in at 445am. and caught one of the rns on her iphone using the internet. they had a pretty loud exchange across the er. the nurse said i use it to look up drugs (this is something i tell everyone to sayt if caught with the phone- after dont use your f**king phone) so michele says well this is write up. im literally now walking quicky not to be in anyone path to get out of the way.
at the same time i was trying to switch with 4 other nurses a day b/c she took me off my set schedule b/c she said its by seniority and shes going to have to take me of tuesdays due to everyone wants to work them. now frankly we are short staffed. and short everyday. due to people leaving and new people not off orientation etc. she only did it one day out of the schedule luckily but i told her every day i work it takes 2 away from kate as we cant do the baby exchange. kate leaves at 630am and im at work til 730am and then i come back to work at 6pm and robs still commuting home til 8pm (she doesnt need to know they eat dinner at the mothers) and i barely see kate as of the night shift and i was mandated to nights. the other nurse bully nurse said she was told by michele that every1 has childcare issues and she didnt want to hear it and its our responsibility etc to deal with this. but frankly if i cant get to days and i have this new baby ill be aggressively looking for a new job on my leave b/c im not not seeing my kid and my new baby.

i have to get ready for work so i have to cut this short...

Now your talking...cheerios and stickers. That's the spirit. And, works well. Men and toilet habits. I guess some things cannot change, even with centuries of work by women to break us. We're just a big mess I guess.


I think you now have seen the results of your extraordinary care for this man...I told you that you went way above and beyond. He could easily have died. It was your money for cab fare that saved this man. And, he gives you 200.00 in gratitude.


Now, keep it or not? I am not sure of nursing codes of ethics. I do teach ethics in my own profession, and we say if you cannot find the man to return it you could donate it or give it to charity or ask the hospitals ethic's committee, which would certainly make you look wonderful.


I doubt you should keep it however. Should you be discovered it makes it look like you had something to ,and by saying something to the hospital it seems much more on the up and up. And, that is what I would do. Plus you never expected this anyway. So, it is a happy accident, but one that will not cost you in the end.


I agree with you that if your place continues to blast your schedule the way they are then the only choice will be to look for work elsewhere. You have a family. Every business knows these issues and most of them are progressive. If they are not, employees leave. I would not blame you a bit if you looked somewhere else. But I would not go by what bully nurse said. You never know what third hand information she is passing along, and for what reason. You do need to see your family, and they have to come first, no matter what. As far as the phone issue, I would have walked away too.,,fast. That is something you do not want ti be near. And the excuse that the phone is being used to look up work related things. I have heard that one as a manager many times. It just doesn't cut it. Better to not touch the phone and stay away from it.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
hi steven. i know we ned a new thread. too tired to set one up today. im off tomorrow. will do i t then.
i had thoughts of keeping the money. yes. 70 dollars of it is mine technically. and i was just thinking oh itd be nice ill go get a nice spa pedicure and then this weekend we could do a little something/ fun special to bring kate to.. and then dinner after....
i dont think theres anyway the hospital would find out and frankly i just want to not be noticed. and stay jennifer. or colleen. or whoever.

i know what bully nurse said is true b/c michele said this in a meeting that i wasnt present at and several nurses/ nurses aides were super pissed. peter is usually easier on people with kids / childcare which is why people were like oh go to nites, he lets you pick your days and hes good about it. peter i know has daughters who are like grown/ college age or something so i guess he knows what its like. or he has sympathy for parents/ children.

i go to the bathroom to lookk at my phone and send texts and stuff and i dont have an iphone so i cant really do much anyway..

i dont know why but the hosp has been so busy this weekend i feel like saying i cant believe you assholes are here for a sunbuirn. its like everyone needs instant gratification and dont understand that sometimes you are sick. and it sucks and you muddle thru unhappy til its over.
people are so babyish. i cant even take it.

i am 14 weeks preg and ill tell you im sick and tired of it. i feel so vulnerable between drunks and scary drug addicts and im so scared ill get asaulted, besides the fact that i cant leave/ get a another job... its too much for me. i was so behind the 8 ball at my old job at my pregnancy.. well it was bad.

i kind of have a work problem. i had this educator - racheal. to tell the truth, i find her to be an annoying goody two shoes who seems nerdy and would throw u sunder the bus if there was ever a mistake made. shes the one who said arbitrarily that we should be taking that test (which the union has not approved yet...and apparently everyones like were not taking a test which is what they told peter and he said nothing to at the meeting..) and shes the one who called me colleen like the 4 th or 5th time. it happened a like 2 months ago im pretty sure i told you. well i did get snippy cuz it had been days i was being called jennifer and colleen and i said i work here for a year its so nice no one cares enough to find out my name. and i walked away. well i tell colleen who starts laughing and says oh she got ripped an asshole when she called the clerk penny patti again and she yelled at her. i told colleeen i corrected her like at least 4 times. and she doesnt even say sorry or anything which is what really prompted my response.
well since then she avoids me this educator. now i dont want to talk to her or be friends. really. but i do have the secret worry that if soemthing happens and i mess up.. shell be like i hate that girl and go extra hard on me.
she didnt give me a gift for nurses week and went around me essentially... which really upset me. i feel like she was wrong and shouldve came to me or something b/c i didnt call her the wrong name.. what do you think?

Well, seventy dollars of it is your own money. I don't really see any problem keeping that part of it; that is just getting a expense reimbursement of sorts. It really is your choice what you do with the money. I just do not want any part of it coming back on you if the hospital would somehow find out about it. That is the last thing you would need. But I answered your question based on professional ethics and some things. Well, they really do not fall there. You have to make the call.


Michelle doesn't sound very bright. People do not always quit a place, they leave their supervisors. And, if you are working and have children and feel that the hospital couldn't care if you ever saw them.... Well, that is awful, and on them. There certainly are systems and hospitals that do care about families. (I have noticed the pediatric hospitals tend to treat the employees a bit better. Do you have one in your area? Are you interested in peds at all?) You do seem good with children and nursing skills. I do not see you staying at this place any longer than you have to. And, I don't think you would disagree.


Yes, people are many times, babyish. And, the studies that are coming out are not encouraging about this, as more and more people are looking to be nurtured by systems and do not take responsibility for their own actions. I am always shocked at who is in the ER for what, when we are there for blood, broken bones and similar. A bad sinus infection? Go to a doc-in-the-box or something. You do not need to be at the ER. And the psychiatric stuff is crazy. How many people do you see in a week who have nothing wrong with them that some responsibility and inner fortitude wouldn't cure? That isn't to say that this is all people's faults; it is not, but many do as you say...whine.


I don't suppose it would do much good to ask to be switched to cases that did not involve potentially violent people and addicts? Of course I assume here that your hospital cares about people. Guess not huh?


The educator: She is a personality disorder; I would put money on it. She is self absorbed and cannot be bothered to learn people's names?! Okay, once or twice is understandable. But all the time? And, to never say something like, I am really bad with names I am sorry, forgive me. Is there a way I can remember your name better...something!


People like her are terribly insecure. She is afraid of you because you brought out her flaws which she wants to hide. That goody two shoes stuff is a passive way to express control and anger. She is angry and avoids you because you scare her. However, if you simply stay out of her way; you should be fine. Yes, she may be harder on you. That is a risk. But if you smile at her and act fine (even if you want to throttle her) people like her tend to be pretty surface based. In all likelihood she will accept who you are based on face value and nothing else. So, act nice. You could even add a touch of mild (very) sarcasm to it with you smiles. She will see you as you present; nothing more, or less. She is totally about face value. So I wouldn't put much into her worry wise. I would though have some fun with her by smiling and acting "swell". She will buy it. Steven

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