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Thanks for the update. It sounds like she is working to find a solution to how you feel but might not be sure of what works for you yet.
Let me know how it goes with the medications. It's always a shot in the dark with them because of individual body chemistry but I'm sure you will find a good balance. And it may help you feel much better.
How have you been otherwise?
She said she thought I was depressed- but not any kind of chemical thing - just sad from what I am having to deal with. I totally agree that it is just situational. She asked a lot of questions about by mood, etc. She also asked me a lot more questions about the ADD stuff, and from when I was a child. When we initially went over all that, I had brought her a questionnaire Linda had had me fill out, and I answered it for today - not as a child. She had asked me a few childhood questions, but I guess not enough. She said she had thought before that I may have mild ADD or maybe just sleep issues which seemed like ADD (which I do have the sleep issues). But she said now that she has clarified some things, she thinks it may be more severe than she thought. That is actually very good news to me. And I am glad she trusts me enough to let me play around with the medication and see what works. She said forget the seroquel. She thought the flashbacks were much more frequent than they are. When I told her I had only had 4-5 total, we agreed that taking seroquel regularly was overkill and I explained why seroquel on an as-needed basis wouldn't work. She said as long as I'm not having them too frequently and not when I'm driving or something, then it's best not to add the seroquel - especially since the clonazepam seems to be helping the nightmares more than the seroquel did. She told me how to assess what is working best in terms of the adderall. Once we see, then she'll play around with the dosage.
I was surprised she wants me to come in and talk to her, but I'm okay with that. As I think I told you, she asked how often I was seeing Linda, and I told her usually twice a week. This was after I told her that I knew I would get over the hump at some point, but I was surprised how long it was taking and how hard it was and that it was easier not to feel. She said "so, you're doing the work." Did she think it was taking so long because I wasn't working hard enough?
I'm still not feeling great, but was pretty distracted today. Had my appointment with Dr. M then a CLE class this morning and a bunch to get filed this afternoon. Last night wasn't fun, and it was really no help with P gone. Oh well. Guess that's just how it is.
Anger can be about fear, or feeling loss of control. It can be a defense as well to protect you from emotional pain. We can talk it through if you want. It may help.
I'm shutting down for the night (long day!) but I will check back in tomorrow.
Good night, Shay. I hope you have a good night!
I'm glad to catch you while you are on. If you want to think about what you feel the origins might be of your anger, it would give us a place to start. From what I recall, this seemed to start after you shared some very personal things with Linda. Do you feel it is connected? Just a thought.
Talk to you soon,
Yeah, probably. --- Go ahead and shut down. We can talk tomorrow or some other time. Have a good night!