I can understand that. You told Linda expecting support and she brought up a lot of upsetting feelings. That, along with taking the risk of putting yourself out there, can make you feel like you did something wrong. Trust is important to you, especially after what you have been through. And trusting Linda is vital to your recovery. This may make you question your trust. Try talking with her about how you feel. Let her know what you were looking for from her when you told her about what happened and what you feel she did instead. Otherwise, she won't know how you feel and therapy will be difficult. This will become an elephant in the room and your progress with her will slow. Also, go easy on yourself. You did a good thing by telling Linda about what happened. As we've talked about before, it is good for your recovery to be open and honest, then you won't have anything that can come back and bother you later. You are seeking help for how you feel and opening yourself up is part of that. Linda may not have reacted well to this, but she still cares greatly about you and wants to be there for you. Prayer is a great way to help you with how you feel. Leave this in God's hands and let Him guide you. He cares about you and has gotten you this far. He will help you the rest of the way.Kate
Okay. I don't go back to Linda until a week from Thursday anyway. I was glad to go pray with C. We talked a bit about what was going on, in general, no specifics, and he understands and was glad, I think, to touch base with me and know some specific things to pray for me.
I'm not upset at Linda. It's just that she got me all worked up wih no bringing back down or resolution. I don't think she knew how worked up I was, although I think she should have known. It doesn't matter. I think with the letter and then telling her that, there was just too much I presented her with, without enough time. It's interesting that now when she talks, she prefaces almost everything with "I know you won't believe me but I hope someday you will ..... " ???? And the timing is just bad, since ordinarily I would see her again this week, but won't, and P is leavng on Thursday. Dr. M hasn''t even called me back (??). But I reached out to C, and that was a good thing.
I am beginning not to care anymore. I'm becoming more and more unhappy. I understand that may be part of the process, but there's only so low I can go and be able to function, so something has to give. I feel boxed in - I can't go back and I don't want to go forward.
You are doing all you can to work through this. And it's ok to accept that for now, you will feel low until you have time to process your feelings. Don't forget to write it out as well, you may discover more about why you feel as you do. I will be traveling back tomorrow so I'll try to check back either in the morning or evening when I get back and we can talk more about this.
It's okay. It is what it is.
Have a safe trip back.
Ok, talk with you soon!
Hi Shay! I just wanted to touch base and let you know I'm back to my regular schedule, in case you wanted to talk.
I hope you are doing well,
Hi Kate. Nothing has changed. Had to go home yesterday morning because I apparently had the stomach flu, which kind of sucked, because I have so much to do, but was kind of nice because I either was sleeping or vomiting, so no time to think about anything.
Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that! The stomach flu is the worst. I hope you feel better quickly.
If you do need to talk, I'm here. You are in my thoughts.
Thanks. I feel a lot better today and am at work. But I think Jamie has it now.
Thanks for thinking of me. I just don't care about a whole lot right now. Dr. M did call me back yesterday (she didn't get my first message, apparently).
I'm glad to hear you are on the mend. Poor Jamie
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What did Dr. M have to say?
Adjusting medications is a constant battle for most people. I agree with you, you need to do what you feel is going to work for you. Dr. M can only guide you and give you the information you need to make an informed decision.
Let me know what she says on Friday when you see her.
And I'm here if you want to talk in between!
Do you want to open a new question and talk about this?
I answered on the new thread.