Hi Howard. This is follow-up to the previous scenario. My son revealed all of the facts over the course of 4 days. On the night, he initially shut our cat in his closet for a minute or two. He then carried Jack to the chest and shut him inside with the intent of letting him out in the morning. He went and did his night time routine. When he went to bed, he heard Jack scratching loudly and meowing to get out and he thought it was funny. He said he kept slapping the top fo the chest to keep Jack quiet so that we wouldn't hear. He has expressed remorse, said he didn't mean to kill Jack and I am unaware of him doing this behavior before. He further admitted that on prior occasions he had slapped at Jack's back to make him run away. He says he is bullied at school. Just want to see if these new facts changes your opinion about whether he should see a psychologist or whether we wait and see if this behavior will reappear. We have also noticed some changes in behavior since the incident: He took $15 from his grandma's wallet without asking & started crying when he thought our dog had escaped from yard and was lost. I really don't want to send him to a psychologist unless absolutely necessary. My plan was to get him into sports, spend more meaningful time with him, and watch him very closely. Any thoughts/advice? Should I take him to a counselor?
Person's Gender: Female
Person's Age: 43
Talked to child psychologist on the phone, but they did not have all the facts since they were unknown at the time. I did nothing further except contact this website.
Good evening,Thank you so much for requesting me. I really appreciate that!Based on the new information you have provided, it's possible that your son's behavior is being influenced by his experiences at school. I'm very sorry to learn that he is being bullied. I encourage you to speak to his teacher and the school principal to alert them to this. Bullying is not acceptable anywhere, especially in a school environment.Regarding taking your son to see a child psychologist, I don't think that is necessarily a bad idea, however, I also do not think it is essential at this point. Since you are very concerned about him at this time perhaps taking him to a psychologist would alleviate some of your worries. That may be a sufficient reason to consider making an appointment for him to see someone.I'm not sure what you mean about waiting to see if this behavior will reappear. Are you referring to your son locking another pet in a chest?
Counseling with a compassionate ear and a loving heart.
Hi. Welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.I have read your two threads and offer a different view on both of them. It is clear that your son is struggling with some issues of anger and sadness which may be due to his being bullied at school. He does not, at this time have an outlet for these feelings and he is taking these feelings out in other ways, such as locking the cat in the chest and laughing when he heard the cat trying to get out. Sadly there was a deadly outcome here and the cat died. Your son may be feeling out of control at school and quite similar to how the cat felt in the chest which is why he laughed when he heard the cat trying to get out.I absolutely think it is essential to have your child seen by a professional where he has the safe place to explore his feelings bout being bullied in school and how he feels having done that to the cat. I dont think for a moment his intention was to kill the cat, but his lack of empathy for the cat indicates to me that he needs intervention and that it should not wait. He has tremendous feelings locked inside and needs the outlet. I can certainly empathize with you that you don't want him to be seen if it isn't absolutely necessary but in my opinion it is. If nothing else he is left with the feelings that because of his actions the cat died and if these feelings arent processed it has the potential for him to shut down emotionally. The time to act is now so that it doesn't get worse.Stealing money from Grandma's wallet is also another indication that he is crying out and needs some help to deal with his feelings. He is suffering so not getting him the help can only continue his hurt. The bullying needs to be addressed with the school but he also needs to see someone privately, away from the school environment so that he can feel safe to talk about all of it. I suggest you find a child psychologist and have him seen. I would rather you go and give him the environment to heal rather than assume all is okay and this won't escalate further. He is suffering and needs and deserves the support. So, I do think it is essential. He must be terrified on all levels...terrified at school, terrified that the cat died, and as you can see that terror is bleeding over as evidenced by his crying when he thought the dog was lost. I am here to talk with you further about it, but I urge you to make an appointment. You mentioned that you spoke with someone on the phone before you had the additional information so I am hoping that is an option for you, but if it isn't, please go to www.Psycholgoytoday.com and plug in your zip code to find someone in your area.I am also here to support you as I am sure you have a lot of feelings and worries about this as well. Jen
Licensed Master Social Worker. Certified Life Coach