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Ask Suzanne Your Own Question
Suzanne, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  LCSW, RN. Mental Health, Relationship & Parenting issues.EMDR, Hypnosis.
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ASK SUZANNE, In addition to her being gorgeous her husband

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ASK SUZANNE, In addition to her being gorgeous her husband is very successful. All 3 of my husband's brothers run their own businesses and are very successful. My husband isn't. I think Anthony is the best father though out of all of them. He also watches my son for me, so I can go to the gym. I asked Anthony if he ever compared himself to his brothers and felt bad for not being more successful. Anthony is working and doing the best he can...but we are no where near their level of financial success. Any advice on this? Thanks, Jen
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Suzanne replied 4 years ago.
If I remember correctly, these successful people also lead extremely stressful lives. If your husband was that stressed and busy, you'd be stuck home with the baby all the time, because he wouldn't be available to help.

There is no positive payoff to making these comparisons. It's possible Anthony felt bad when you asked him that question--it certainly wouldn't make him feel good... And that's the thing--what do you gain or help with these comparisons? There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, richer and more successful--so if you keep making comparisons, you will never reach a point of being content. Concentrate on making your own life the best that it can be, regardless of how it compares to others.

Whatever we focus our attention on, seems to grow larger. Holding up your in-laws as the yardstick of success won't give you any peace or satisfaction, because your focus will always be on what you DON'T have instead of what you do have. Focus instead on the positives, and the importance of what they have will fade away.
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