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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steven olsen.hi steven. i hope your getaway is going

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hi for steven olsen.
hi steven. i hope your getaway is going well. ive been having a tough day or 2 somehow.
mothers day was ok. i slept alot and felt nauseous. rob got me a card and so did kate. no gift but at least i got a card. i unfortunately had some staining and have been worrying that im losing the baby. last time when i had my loss i did have a slight stain once. and 2 weeks later i had my appt and he told me the baby died 2 weeks before. and i know the day that stain happened the baby died. i had no further bleeding cramping or pain so i never called the dr. well this time i didnt call the dr either. i went to work last night as usual. i got my ass kicked. everything was going ok until i got this old man - 83 years old who was short of breath. well once on the cardiac monitor we see hes having significant cardiac pauses. he argues with dr a and says he wants to be transferred to the VA hosp. apparently b/c of the cost of being admitted to a non va hospital. now my thought was to keep him an er pt til the am so that social work could set up the transfer. the va doesnt do transfers at night. well dr a says no. hes either being admitted or hes signing ama. im like hes 83 years old. id rasther watch him and if he codes honestly well be right there. so the pt informs me that hes going to go home then go at 9am or so to the va hosp. i tell him no, go now. go directly to the vas er. he says he doesnt have enough money to go. i cal and get a p ric and its $60. plus tip of course. i have $100 in cash and i give him $70. he ended up going after we fought, he didnt want to accept the money. i hope he made it there ok.
well i get another pt and the nurse next to me gets one too. well mine is bs and hers is sick. hes 44 years old and with chest pain. the wife is there and as im coming out of my pts room i hear screaming i look and the pts is twitching and the tele tech is screaming hes in v tach hes in v tach. i tell rose go to your pt and i grab the crash cart. i confirm on the monitor hes in vtach. i put the pads and im ready to shock. i tell people step back. dr a comes. and the other male er nurse pete says hes having a seizure. i said he has a hx of seizures? no. so i argue and say no hes in vtach (were losing time b/c that fatal rythm only lasts so long.. usually a minute or less..) well dr a decides they need ativan - and i feel he listened to pete not me. so they take the pads off the pt (stupid me what do i know?) i walk away - kind of like ok... well i hear screaming.. i run back and the pt is flat lined. so i say what happened? well were in a full on code. the pts wife is hysterical screaming. screaming that scream that shakes you to the core. the kids who appear to me 9 and 12 are in the waiting room. they somehow come back and now imagine pre teen girls shrilly screaming. daddy daddy. were still coding. steven let me tell you we worked like animals the male nurses aides who are 23 were doing cpr so hard and intense i toid them it was the best cpr ive ever seen. and it was. we gave 11 epinephrines. were intubating a central line well the wife keeps pulling open the curtain and the er is dead quiet with other pts and families shocked into silence. and steven im crying now. they let the wife and kids ta the bedside while were coding- and the wife is screaming at him mike you cant f**king die youre not leaving me over and over. shes smacking him in the face. she tells him you have to fight. the girl s are screaming daddy dadyy and crying. the whole er is still and i felt like my own heart stopped. i was so mad at myself steven. i backed down. at the initial arrythmis i intepreted it right. and if i was the old me i wouldve shouted them down that i was right they didntknow what they were doing. dr a looks at me and says were getting ready to end our efforts. is there anything anyone anyone wants to say? i shook my head as we were an hour in. he says ok were doing one more round. we essentially shocked an unshockable rythm to just exhaust it. we stop and do a pulse check and he has a pulse. dr a says to me im so glad we didnt stop i said nothing. as im afraid we limited their suffering for tonight. as we dont know if we brought back a vegetable steven. i dont know if we took it too far.
we transferred the pt out and thank god they left. but honestly i was so exhausted mentally and physically. i cried the whole way home as kate would be 9 or so if rob coded at 44. i felt it wasnt right to let the girls see this. if his wifew needed to its none of my business. personally i think its too much for people to see and its better to start letting people down like we did this.. but its not working. i cant just come out and tell you your familys dead. i have to prepare you. were doing this were doing that. theyre not responding. i feel absolutely awful they saw this. it was so intense steven it was one of the most intense codes ive been at. one ill never forget.
it was awful. i got patted on
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 2 years ago.
Hi, I am a Moderator for this topic. I sent your requested Professional a message to follow up with you here, when they are back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I want to encourage you to go to the doctor's office to see what is going on with you physically. Even if it is nothing, and it probably is nothing, it still is good to know. Please think about it...And, do not go to that bad place in your mind about this. Pregnancies are never the same. You cannot judge this based on the others.

 

You gave the man $70 dollars for the cab fare? That was incredibly considerate of you!! I am impressed...although this is not something you should have to do. The hospital should have some provision to treat him, as a veteran. But I know that whole Champus/VA insurance thing is crazy. But again, I am so impressed at your kindness to this man, a stranger.

 

Now, the code reads like an extreme nightmare. The feelings of helplessness and worry and fear and self doubt would have to be running through your mind. You knew what was happening and you seem to feel that you should have done better, stood up for yourself and stuck with your opinions more. Perhaps that might have made things work out better...

 

But then this is unknown. You do not really know if your catch at the beginning would have changed much. This was Dr a's call and he made what he thought was the choice he gets paid to make. If you were right and did not listen it is not your fault either way. I know you know this, but I also know that you carry a big guilt hammer and are not afraid to use it on yourself. In this case, don't. This was horrible and frightening and scary as heck. It makes you think about your own mortality and the choice you have made as a career. It is a part of what you do. You will not always be able to make the perfect call, and even if you did in this case, there is no way you could guarantee that things would have turned out better. Perhaps they might have, perhaps not.

 

Assessment in the moment is far from accurate and you never know what was really going on. A man of this age in full code is not common and you don't know what you were battling underneath all that flesh and bone. He could easily have had a defect that was present for many, many years. And, what you saw may not have amounted to a significant, or any, change.

 

What is critical is that you were there and helped as you could. Changing this man's future by your aggressiveness or not...really do not see it. That is you being hard on yourself in my professional opinion. You sounded very concerned and very brave and did what you could. That is incredible, in and of itself. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
i have a routine appt for tomorrow. so im just going to go after my shift as normal.
we both know theyre not going to try to save a 12 week preg. they didst do anything for a 20 week. and there wasn't anything they could do as the baby was already dead. i know this.

steven why are you so impressed i wouldnt let my pt die?
he should be an micu patient. how could i let him go home and be there for 6 hrs by himself. with no help? if i couldve i wouldve set up transport via an acls ambulance but thosae are like $400. dr a was wrong. wrong. he shouldve bended and been kind. he couldve let him hang as an er pt put him up front in the icu section and said ok were going to transfer out. the pt wouldve been safe. he wouldve been monitored. and he wouldsve avoided his $2500 co pay.
$70 isnt alot for a mans life. i told him tell them when he got there he had crushing chest pain like an elephant was sitting on his chest. hopefully it would fast track him thru the er to their cardiac section and they will catch the cardiac pauses which require an external p acemaker and of course a permanent once cardiology gets their shit together.
im kinda shocked that youre shocked i would do that. :(

now you can say i dont have an impact at work. but i can promise you that if i had defibrillated at the beginning that pt wouldve bounced right back. he wouldve been shocked right back into his rhythm. this wouldve been a blip.

its backed by science that the faster we get a defibrillator the faster we save a life. thats why if youre in the field you tell people to start looking for one. did you know every chase bank has one? and disney is loaded with them. its the chain of survival and without it you dont have much of a chance. it is my fault/ responsibility as i saw it. i knew it. im there to assist the dr. yes he makes the call. but im there to advocate for my pt.
if it was your brother and his family and they died. would you say there wasnt much we could do in that particular situation? an easy catch steven. easy breezy. on top of that the er physician gives him ativan to stop a non existent seizure? and depress his resp rate and his heart activity (in a terminal rhythm.. ) no its the wrong dx.
and he did harm to his pt. by not only not correcting the problem immediately but giving a drug that made the situation worse. put the pt into more trouble. i had a dr here on ja look at the situation and he told me i was correct. i am very aggressive in codes. you need to know what to do in an emergency when it counts under the gun against all odd when youre tired and upset and possibly preg. you know why? b/c its your kids father and their whole lives. without you. never to see them married or grow up. no steven this isnt the time to f**k up. i am there to fight tooth and nail to keep you out of trouble. mainly prevention is the best way to keep a pt out of trouble.
that pt went to cardiac cath at the other hosp and made it out alive. i hope i can meet him one day soon and speak to him. dr a told us. so theres still hope.
it was more intense as the wife and children screaming the way they did was adding intenseness to us. not that we would work less hard. we know hes 44 and with a young family. its that it can rattle us i guess. dr a looked physically ill. maybe at the thought of the lawsuit. i mightve called the lawyer on her cell phone for this one. here you go dr a. talk to the lawyer. get your story straight. dr a admitted to me he had never seen a v tach look so much like a seizure. i said dr a why would a 44 yr old man with no seizure activity before have a seizure while having this chest pain? get a grip. put on your thinking hat.
if we appropriately assessed dx, and treated and it didnt work out thats diff. its a true loss. it happens they were too sick too weak. but a 44 yr old man? no.
would you say these things happen
if it was your family ?
no.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

How did your appointment go? Everything okay?

 

You know...I am impressed at your kindness, and the fact that this man was given 70 dollars of cab fare by you, personally. That is a lot, and is not just 20 bucks, which in itself would be nice. Remember I worked for a hospital system for more than a decade, a religiously oriented one. And, I never saw any nurse give a patient anything other than the time of day. And, many of these nurses where very nice people. But, money from their own pocket, never. So, I am impressed. Your kindness is not that common. And, many people would not have done what you did. So, please do not minimize this act on your part. Besides, what would it mean about you if you simply recognized this as a kindness that went above and beyond that of most people in nursing, for it did. Face it. lol That was nice of you and not just about being a nurse.

 

You know for a fact that the patient would have bounced right back if you would have acted? Now, I looked some things up. Statistics show that without defibrillator technology only about 10% or less of heart attack victims survive on CPR alone. But even with a defibrillator, it is less than 60% (at best estimates) so...there is no way you can know that your actions would have saved him so easily.

 

And, no...I am not thinking of the patient in that response. I am thinking of you. I do not want you to be harsh on yourself, demanding that you acted this way or that...what is done is done. Okay, so the assessment was not the best, XXXXX XXXXX is on the doctor, not only on you.

 

He had a choice, as you presented what you thought. He chose to ignore you and act on his own, listening to the other...a seizure. And, you are right. Seizures and heart attacks look differently. He should have known better and listened to you. Good outcome or not, even the best nurse advocates cannot overcome the stubbornness of a physician, especially like dr a. You could have screamed a lot. I really doubt he would listen. Dr b maybe, but dr a? I doubt it.

 

I too witnessed much craziness in the death of my father when he was 46. It was not pretty, and there were mistakes made. But, I would not blame the nurse for his death. That is what the doctor should have done...been smarter. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven overslept to go to work tonight. so tired. luckily i woke up before i was too late. usually i am up way early to eat and write to you... anyway well talk tomorrow. my appt is supposed to be tomorrow after work i tried to call and make sure but their computers were down i didnt call back b/c i fell asleep.

i had all sorts of sex dreams about dr b. it was weird. not the dream but the comfortableness of it. it was like we were lovers not having our first encounter...

i have to say that i am really sorry that you saw your dad die so young. and with mistakes. not an easy thing to live with.
talk to you soon
ps stop looking statistics on vacation. and ps a witnessed arrest with vtach has a pretty high survival rate.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hi steven my night wasnt awful, and i got out on time so i hit the road since its 50 miles or sp between the hosp and my dr. but i made it to my neighborhood and it was only 815. so i stopped at dunkin donuts where i go to the best one ever in the whole world. theyre fast the donuts everything is fresh and they know your order when you get there. the guy making the coffee calls out your order - if youve been there before and hes like medium ice coffee with 3 sugars and cream. to tell the cashier and hes lining them up at the counter. so this one guy (customer) comes in and says to the guy (behind the counter) oh man where were you last week? the counter guy says on vacation. the customer says i am so happy youre back man. i missed you. youre the greatest. so im waiting for my bagel and i say to the guy geez i havent heard such a display of feelings from some people on their death beds. so people start to laugh. the customer says this guys always makes my coffee the best and hes got it as soon as he sees me.
i did think its funny. i mean a guy to just declare his love for the dunkin donuts guy? when did men get so soft?
geez hide ur feelings. its what youve been trained to do.

i went to the ob and the babys ok. (hes)jumping around and waving his arms. doing somersaults. i told the ob i was spotting and i was nervous. he of course said ok liz very calmly... lets take a look. so hes looking and hes like look the babys waving at you mommy. hes saying hi mommy. anyway after i called rob i referenced the baby as a he. so he said were having a boy? so i said oh i m not sure they didnt tell me. i reminded him its 20 weeks or so..
then he told me my clotting time is very elongated. so i said i doubt that. she prob didnt draw it 1st like youre supposed to. so he says well u have to repeat it. so i said ok...so he says yeah u can go this week. so i sa cant i just go with the next routine blood draw. so he says go before. then he told gim i dont have time for this nu isance. and i have to go next week for another sono with the special neonatoligsit that they make everyone go to check the head/ neck for downs syndrome. and its tueday. and theres no other day hes in blah blah... i think im going to have to call in sick as its short notice thing...
so last night dr b and i got into a little bit of a heated debate about what happened at the code. he said that dr a is the one whos got to make the decision under pressure and hed be the one that got sued not me. and that he has to be critically thinking. and if the guy was shaking- and dr b doesnt admit i was right btw that the guy was in vtach - and it wasnt a seizure- that dr a has people yelling things at him and its chaotic and he has to make the decision. so i shot back with that oh i dont critically think? i stand there drooling? i was the one who critically said the guy has no reason to seize hes a cardiac case hard core why are we letting things cloud our judgement? and he said the ativan didnt hurt the guy. i said to him oh you mean how it doesnt depress your resp effort? and we were working uphill for an hr? so dr b says it it stopped his shaking so we coud interpret a rhythm its what we had to do. he said you just dont go around shocking people elizabeth. and i said yeah i dont. i only shock people in vtach or vfib. thank you. and i told him he listened to pete b/c hes f**king friends with him and totally disregarded me. b/c im not his friend. which i dont need to be cuz im not a needy baby like he is. so he said well im not taking sides. i said fine but youre taking his. so ill walk away now and keep my mouth shut from now on. since what do i know? why should i be treated like this? if they can decide everything and watch 100 pts in the er without the nurses input why the f**k am i putting myself out there? to be shot down/ f**k that. dr a couldve manned up and said liz you were right. he admitted that he believes it was a vtach that looked like a seizure cuz he said ive never seen vtach mimic a seizure so much before. if he didnt think that why would he say that?
but dra is a loser. and im prety upset with dr b too.
meanwhile the nurse next to me told me that her pt an old lady with arm pain didnt have a good pulse on that arm. so she told dr b. so dr b got a sono. so the sono showed that she had several clots so he called vascular who came and raced the pt to the or b/c the time was ticking she was going to lose her arm. so dr b is going to write a letter to the director of the er, blah blah. and how without her he wouldnt have caught it in time etc.
which yes this nurse deserves kudos. totally. im happy shes being recognized steven im dead serious honestly. but i had the guy with that chemical burn that i supposedly saved his hand. and no1 big shit knows. and frankly steven im not making an impression there. its a year and im still stuck in the same shitty assignment in the corner with the peds room that i hate. its like where they put the f**k ups. i was there this whole week. night after night. last week it was 2 out of the 3 days. peope junior to me are in better districts. and i feel stupid over there not making any progress. it makes me feel like a fool. im in the same place i was at my other place at the end. i was the superstar. then i was nothing. just like that. and im still in the same place. im a work horse. other junior people are out in triage. working alot less. alot less. and im being dogged and im tired of it. its like im a moron.
i dont know if dr b is pissed but we didnt speak the rest of the shift. i got busy trying to do a ton of stuff. so we didnt speak again.


Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven btw i found kates birth certificate it was in our diaper bag. on the bottom. under diapers and everything.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Wow, for having an okay night you did have quite a time of it emotionally from the fallout of the other day. I have to say I am really happy for you that the baby is okay. (Your doctor sounds great) And, are you saying or not saying that the baby is a boy? Or, are you saying that because the doctor called the baby a he you are thinking it is? Either way it sounds like you think the baby is a boy, right?

 

I can also say that finding the birth certificate is a great thing too. I know what it is like to lose important stuff, and even if it can be replaced it still is not easy to deal with. Great you found it....where it was, was odd. What the heck happened that it got there?

 

Dr A is who he is. He will never say that he is wrong or that you caught something he screwed up. Never. That is not you; that is him.

Dr b, for all his kindness will not betray another doctor, even if it means you take a hit. Unfair, but that is how it will go down. They will stick together...He was right about the fact that it is Dr a's call, but he (dr b) was wrong not to at least support you somehow in this process.

 

Your opinion has merit. You have shown that it does. You do not deserve that type of treatment. And, you should be recognized for the good work that you are doing.

 

What would happen if you spoke up about the fact that more junior nurses are out and about doing other things, and that you are still trapped, not being able to work triage? That does not seem fair at all.

I try not to problem solve as you know better than I what to do; But, can you put that complaint into a well crafted letter to whoever could get you out of there? I mean...Now that you are out of danger for your license, you can now afford to be a bit more direct. Would it hurt you to do so, you think? I do not know the politics of all of this but I feel that after being there a year you should be given other opportunities. It isn't right.

 

It doesn't matter if dr b is pissed. You are entitled to recognition, and him knowing bt your report that a bromance overtook your clinical thoughts is crazy on both dr a and b's part. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
hey steven are you back from depths of the wilderness?
im ready for you to be back. lol.

my dr is good. he has his flaws. i feel he is not really around if its not at the time hes around. its like theres 8 of them in the group and they cover each other and the chance of him delivering you is like 1 in a million. if you schedule with him hes (i have been told... by anesthesia.. the last time i had my loss that hes not lie an ob gyn with surgery hes like a surgeon which anesthesia liked. i do think he is a stronger ob medically than other ones i have know in my own career... ob is not good with codes or when the shit hits the fan honestly..)

i did bust his chops and told him to stop busting my chops. to which he replied never. i told him not going for the extra lab draw. but im coming for the sono. to which he said ok. i told him ill just do it at the routine time. i told him i dont have difficulty clotting. my blood sugar during the challenge was 88.. and i said cuz im awesome and he started to laugh. he says that this babys going to be a troublemaker since its making me worry that im spotting and its jumping around. he did not say its a boy- its too soon. i just say he in ref just like i called kate a girl..prior to knowing.
he says ill see you outside... and i go out.. and hes getting reamed out by one of the older nurses in the nsg station hes standing on my side... and hes very calm and shes saying look you call this guy im not calling again you made a deal with them and ive had it. and stalks away. i walk up and im like in a low tone youre in trouble.... lol. so he says im always in trouble. i have 4 daughters a wife i work with like 15 women and then all the female ptsa....so i said in a low tone i dont know how you deal with all the pussy. so he starts laughing and is trying to say shhhhh. so i go no really i cant. i have always admitted im a guys girl. and i think im mainly pretty straightforward. so he says yeah you are... and then he says ah im always in trouble i try not to worry about it.

drb. i dont now if he took it as a we have to agree to disagree. i dont know if hes thinking about it or even cares. last night when i 1st saw him i said you didnt say goodbye this am. he said i checked you. i said huh? he said i checked you. i was leaving and i saw you laughing and talking with another nurse (i was honestly..) and i figured i wasnt needed. i knew id see you tonight... and you can always call/ text me.
i dont know if that still stands at this point...
he has to decide if hes staying or not by friday to let our hospital know as per the director of our er. so tomorrow hes going to speak to the director of the other er and see if he can keep his per diem position etc - if he cant make it good and keep his per diem hes going to leave. if he can fix it since er mds is a small world and in short supply - he said he will have to go thru with it...

dr a pissed me off cuz i tried to wait for him to ask him about apt and i waited and waited. then he came out of the room speeded past me and i called him twice and he ignored me. he pretended not to hear.. but i think he did. so i told dr b see? this is why i dont like talking to him. and he said well he thinks you dont think hes a good dr. and then it merged inot this heated debate. i dont know if dr a got soem of the low down as he walked back to the dr box.. i was in the med room and i heard him say soemthing like its either her or me to to dr b...
i didnt speak to either of them for the rest of the shift. i was busy playing catch up..
so i dont know if i pissed dr a off. or dr b. or caused a fight between them. or if they were even talking about it.

the administrator told me shes not cow towing (sp?)to anyone including dr b. and it seems shes thoroughly fed up. i said oh im sorry honey... what else could i say? i didnt want to tell her he may be staying b/c when she heard he was leaving she was like oh thats good then i have nothing to lose type of thing... i didnt want to cause her worry til i knew hes def staying...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

I am back from the wilderness...safely.

 

My wife had a doctor like yours. He was great, but because it was a larger practice you never quite knew what you were going to get. It was a toss up if you went into labor when he was around. And you really did give him a hard time. The poor guy. He is surrounded by all these woman and you have to make a comment about him being in trouble and then you sexualized his job. Nice work there. Yes, that is a good chops busting.

 

Dr b? I hope he stays. For all the stuff that goes on around there he is a good influence and to a good extent, trustworthy and consistent. I am eager to hear if he is able to do what he needs to, to stay.

 

I can say that dr a's personality type is not one to really care about what a "nurse" thinks of him. So, he might be mildly offended that you seem not to like him, but I doubt it will go anywhere. He has his own cadre of hero worshipers and if you are not one of them; well, he will simply punish you by ignoring you or doing what passive aggressive people do. He sees himself as above nurses anyway. Just for fun: Treat him like you love him next time you meet and sugar coat it. Watch how quickly he will respond to you. It is all about ego for him. I can't know for certain, but I suspect that he will not fight with dr b about you.

 

I still think if you can avoid contact with the administrator and also avoid the topic of Dr b, so much the better. I know nothing, nothing...might be a good mantra for you in that situation. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
geez thank god youre back.
holy smokes. dial up? i didnt even there still was dial up.
when you got back was everybody in indiana jones hats? and everyone was alot hairier than usual?
hair removal i s great. im not even that hairy.. and i dont know what id do without it.

yes my dr. hes a religious jew with the yalmulke... when its the mets season (although he didnt have it on it yesterday..) he put the mets on it and he looks down and between your legs is a mets yalmulke. yep.
this is my life steve. and im thinking. i could write abook. who the hell could make that up?
hes very... i dont know if hes professional or understanding or hes heard it all.. but when i had my woops preg he tried to help me hide it so i could have the baby. he started asking about everyones coloring.. and i think if rob said boo to him he wouldve told him of course thats possible. cuz he aint breaking that news.
if youre an ob gyn is pussy that shocking? the word? or the actual thing? i mean i told him once how does your wife get you attention at home? does she whip it out and youre like not now honey the mets are on and i saw 50 of those today...

i thin k im going to have to call in sick on tuesday next week to go for my sono.. i think its too short notice to switch and i thought the sono yest i was having was the sono im having next week. why did i need both sonos? yeah i know. what a waste of time.

i was debating on texting dr b to see what happens at the meeting... so i have the inside scoop. he says he tells me things 1st (i think he did tell me 1st he was having doubts about leaving as dr a didnt even know until the next day when he said oh me and dr b arent breaking up..)
i was surprised the dr b said oh you were laughing and you were ok.. like he checks on me?

dr b - i walked up behind him and leaned on him and he said liz.../ and i said yes how did you know? and he said by the way youre leaning on me...
ok i just texted him.. so well see if he responds...
the director of the er at that hosp is leaving so i dont see why he would care if dr b changed his mind or not..

if im going to be nice to dr a can i be all touchy feely and see if i can make him uncomfortable? and then threaten him with a high heel in his back if he doesnt behave? i know that got him all freaked out last time.

i could tell him dr b and i are broken up so hes my new boyfriend... that could do a good mind f**k on dr b too...
hmm double my pleasure double the fun. or i could not saying anything and switch to days and suddenly dissapear. then again they didnt know where i was for 2 weeks and didnt seem too concerned..
ah they think the philiopeno nurses are better than the white ones anyway...
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh and dr b didnt answer my text....
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

No, no Indiana Jones Hats or hairy people, just lots of noise and traffic.

 

Funny you should mention the ob/gyn thing and sex. My wife and I talk about that sometimes. We have noticed that a large number of the ob/gyn's seem to have lots of kids. How on earth they get sexually aroused after dealing with those visualizations all day is beyond me. Freud said that some careers are sublimated desires, simply socially acceptable ways to express deeply disturbed tendencies that otherwise would make the person a social pariah. Ever wonder if ob/gyn's, some of them, are actually perverts? It is an interesting and disturbing thought. Not that your doctor is that way...

 

Why do you need two sonos? That sounds medically unnecessary and a waste of your time and insurance dollars. Really, two?

 

Dr b and texts...well, not totally surprised if he did not respond. That is not a sign that he is unhappy with you but may be a sign that he has made a choice that is not the one you want to hear. He seems more insecure than dr a, and I wonder if he made a choice that is different than the one you wish. Could be...or simply he didn't want to announce his choice via a text. I get that too.

 

I believe that just treating dr a nicely will freak him out. It will make him wonder what he did to make you do happy. And, I think he will try a number of things to see if he can keep that reaction going. He likes attention, even if from a nurse. Nah, no playing the relationship card. That is too direct I feel. Instead, tell dr a that you think he's great. Watch that reaction, from both of them.

 

What is with the Philippine nurses comment? Steven

 

 

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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
so are you saying that if you saw women naked all day.... you wouldnt be too interested at night?
what worries me is that maybe it turns them on... and thats why they have a ton of kids. although i know hes very religious and mainly the religious drs have even more than 5 kids. like its almost like they have to have 4 or more and 5 is a good num with them that they wouldnt be shamed in the community. cuz some of them have 7 8 9 10 and even 11 kids. which frankly i dont know how you can go thru so many pregnancies. i feel beaten up by the 4 ive had so far and i dont even have 3 kids out of it.
but my dr doesnt seem like a pervert. if he did believe me i wouldnt be going for like 6 or 7 years...

although i have heard that theory of freuds... i think very few careers fit the bill though. like if you work at mc donalds.. what fantasy would that serve?

my 2 thoughts of his not answering the text was he didnt speak to the guy but he works nights so maybe he was going to see him at 5pm or something and then worked his shift and the text was from hours earlier... or that hes pissed.
i personally told him i didnt want him to leave but i felt if theres a chance for advancement he should do it.
and essentially didnt want him to stay b/c selfish dr a wanted to hold him back. i didnt say that i just said he should do whats best for him.. but personally id like him to stay. i just feel if someone is really your friend they really want the best for you even if it breaks up the gang.. unfortunatey i lost some really good friends who were nurses who went on to better things... i never wanted them to leave we were a great team.. but i never said they shouldnt go. id tell them i didnt want them to go.

i dont remember 2 sonos at this point with kate or the other. i remember just seeing the perineonatologist.. who does the nuchal scan to check the backs of the head/ neck...

i do have a hard time being phony so its going to be hard for me to be nice to dr a.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
ugh steven i feel so tired and really lazy. i have so much to do and this house is a mess. and i just feel nauseated and like i dont want to do all this. i want to feel better already and do something fun with kate but i dont feel up to it. of course shes being a demon. she spilled her whole cup of juice everywhere and all over her.. and shes being clingy and annoying. theres no food here essentially so im sitting here hungry and nothing to eat but too lazy to go out to get something. can you imagine? how crazy is that?
you would think my fat ass would be motivated by the prospect of food to go out..
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

So sorry I did not get back to you sooner. We had a number of thefts at work, four laptops were stolen and somehow I was elected to file the reports, etc.

 

If I saw women naked all day would I get desensitized? Yes. I would. I think that must happen to an extent with ob/gyn's and their lives too. Unless of course it really is an obsession of some sublimated nature. But then it could be obligatory too. The orthodox doctors have sex the 14th day after their wives' cycle ends...pretty fertile on average, so lots of kids!

 

Not all careers can fulfill sublimated desires. Fast food probably does not, unless you secretly wanted to give bad service, hang with people who love the smell of grease, and work with others who want to ruin the diets of Americans and others across the world.

 

It is far more noble to want for Dr b what is best, XXXXX XXXXX you do lose a friend. It is sad, true, but if this helps him more, then so be it. And, you're probably right, he didn't answer because he didn't know the full story yet. I do not ever recall two sonos in a row. One at the start and one near the end...but then again my wife was pregnant when they were still giving that ridiculous APT test that showed a significant number of women that they were giving birth to retarded children... when in fact they were not. Things have changed no doubt since we had kids. Many two sono's is now the standard?

 

Don't think of it as being phony to Dr a. Think of it as a social experiment.

 

Tired and lazy is par for the pregnancy course don't you think? Plus, you just resolved a major employment scare; came from a good but stressful vacation and lived as best as you could with relatives and a weird b-day party. Many of us feel so lazy we will not even feed ourselves at times. That is why they invented delivered food. And of course Kate would be wild chidl when you need her not to be...kids have special sensors that tell them when to have behavioral issues. I had my kids' removed. It was worth the cost. lol Steven

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Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
Steven Olsen and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
oh we had tons of stuff stolen at my old hosp. oh well.
why do you have to fill out the reports? whod you piss off? or decide that youre the designated asshole? or as i like the call it the DA?

ok so are you saying that every woman isnt special and to be cherished in her own special wonderful way for her own beauty?
ok even i dont believe that....
no i think youre not really looking. honestly.
if youre not a pervert youre not looking. if you were an ob gyn.. i dont think that youd notice. but youd notice your wife. or the occasional playboy playmate. ok notice her. youre a person i cant take that away from you. i was the next pt with the ob i slept with (this is before i slept with him of course. i actually never went back after that incident..) after a playboy playmate. and i told him. ok ill just leave. and i was thin and pretty and prob younger than her at the time. and she had breast implants and 2 guys with her at ob gyns office. i noticed her as mainly there werent men there except with the preg ones that were going to pop.

anyway i worked in urology and i saw alot of men naked. alot. and i dont know it didnt affect me. seriously. and i still see men naked and im still kinda like yeah... whatever...

i have had thoughts of quitting nsg and working at mc donalds. and then every1 who seems like a jerk you give them the fish fillet. cuz frankly if you got a burger instead of chicken youd eat it. and if you chicken instead of a burger.. youd eat it. but the fish fillet is adeal breaker. youre not eating that. you know?
or to work at home depot and tell people the wrong aisles that crap i sin... overcharge contractors that you know are just ripping out peoples kitchens and not going back for 3 months...

i guess well see if dr b is pissed at me. or if he took the other job. or whatever. maybe ill let the pts just wait without orders if i possibly can. i usually go to them to get xrays put in or ct scans or pain meds or tylenol for fevers... stuff that should start treatments asap. ugh and theres only 2 of them which makes it hard to get orders. geez.

anyway maybe i should put in for days
and me its beautiful out and im sleeping like theres no tomorrow. and still not wanting to do anything.
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.

Each of us at work has an additional role. Mine is head of staff safety. That includes training staff how to defuse a crisis and how to talk down someone who is aggressive, etc. But it also entails filling out all the forms and changing locks when someone is fired, or like this stuff, when things turn up missing. It is better than being the guy who deals with building heat and cooling. That is the worst as it never works right.

 

Everyone is special. But, not all are special to us. People who others think are good looking, I would bet that many of them are bot good looking to you. So, only certain people seem special or get noticed, right? Some men, on the other had, just seem to be perverts in general. I have yet to figure our why they seem to be interested in anyone female.

 

How did you know the woman was a playmate? She wasn't wearing ears I am sure. This I have to know.

 

I believe that women are not as dominant visually/sexually as men. But I feel both sexes can become disillusioned if overexposed to sexual things. That is why porn removes so much of a man's desire to be with his wife if he is a regular user of it.

 

I think your a perfect match for retail, right? There are no odd people in that career...lol And, you could take out all your frustration on people, as you said, sending them down the wrong departments. I cannot imagine you working retail...

 

 

Let me know about dr b.

 

Heck, unmotivated has nothing to do with weather. It can be wonderful and people still feel unmotivated. Plus, you are pregnant, tired and exhausted. You need this down time; it's been go, go, go all the time. Your body is just telling you what your mind does not want to admit. You're fried and need the rest.

We need a new thread. Steven

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
HI I am starting a new question... i dont have a tab to ask you a new question.. so itll be on the boards im thinking...
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 2 years ago.
I will look on the main board.

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