Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
I want to encourage you to go to the doctor's office to see what is going on with you physically. Even if it is nothing, and it probably is nothing, it still is good to know. Please think about it...And, do not go to that bad place in your mind about this. Pregnancies are never the same. You cannot judge this based on the others.
You gave the man $70 dollars for the cab fare? That was incredibly considerate of you!! I am impressed...although this is not something you should have to do. The hospital should have some provision to treat him, as a veteran. But I know that whole Champus/VA insurance thing is crazy. But again, I am so impressed at your kindness to this man, a stranger.
Now, the code reads like an extreme nightmare. The feelings of helplessness and worry and fear and self doubt would have to be running through your mind. You knew what was happening and you seem to feel that you should have done better, stood up for yourself and stuck with your opinions more. Perhaps that might have made things work out better...
But then this is unknown. You do not really know if your catch at the beginning would have changed much. This was Dr a's call and he made what he thought was the choice he gets paid to make. If you were right and did not listen it is not your fault either way. I know you know this, but I also know that you carry a big guilt hammer and are not afraid to use it on yourself. In this case, don't. This was horrible and frightening and scary as heck. It makes you think about your own mortality and the choice you have made as a career. It is a part of what you do. You will not always be able to make the perfect call, and even if you did in this case, there is no way you could guarantee that things would have turned out better. Perhaps they might have, perhaps not.
Assessment in the moment is far from accurate and you never know what was really going on. A man of this age in full code is not common and you don't know what you were battling underneath all that flesh and bone. He could easily have had a defect that was present for many, many years. And, what you saw may not have amounted to a significant, or any, change.
What is critical is that you were there and helped as you could. Changing this man's future by your aggressiveness or not...really do not see it. That is you being hard on yourself in my professional opinion. You sounded very concerned and very brave and did what you could. That is incredible, in and of itself. Steven
How did your appointment go? Everything okay?
You know...I am impressed at your kindness, and the fact that this man was given 70 dollars of cab fare by you, personally. That is a lot, and is not just 20 bucks, which in itself would be nice. Remember I worked for a hospital system for more than a decade, a religiously oriented one. And, I never saw any nurse give a patient anything other than the time of day. And, many of these nurses where very nice people. But, money from their own pocket, never. So, I am impressed. Your kindness is not that common. And, many people would not have done what you did. So, please do not minimize this act on your part. Besides, what would it mean about you if you simply recognized this as a kindness that went above and beyond that of most people in nursing, for it did. Face it. lol That was nice of you and not just about being a nurse.
You know for a fact that the patient would have bounced right back if you would have acted? Now, I looked some things up. Statistics show that without defibrillator technology only about 10% or less of heart attack victims survive on CPR alone. But even with a defibrillator, it is less than 60% (at best estimates) so...there is no way you can know that your actions would have saved him so easily.
And, no...I am not thinking of the patient in that response. I am thinking of you. I do not want you to be harsh on yourself, demanding that you acted this way or that...what is done is done. Okay, so the assessment was not the best, XXXXX XXXXX is on the doctor, not only on you.
He had a choice, as you presented what you thought. He chose to ignore you and act on his own, listening to the other...a seizure. And, you are right. Seizures and heart attacks look differently. He should have known better and listened to you. Good outcome or not, even the best nurse advocates cannot overcome the stubbornness of a physician, especially like dr a. You could have screamed a lot. I really doubt he would listen. Dr b maybe, but dr a? I doubt it.
I too witnessed much craziness in the death of my father when he was 46. It was not pretty, and there were mistakes made. But, I would not blame the nurse for his death. That is what the doctor should have done...been smarter. Steven
Wow, for having an okay night you did have quite a time of it emotionally from the fallout of the other day. I have to say I am really happy for you that the baby is okay. (Your doctor sounds great) And, are you saying or not saying that the baby is a boy? Or, are you saying that because the doctor called the baby a he you are thinking it is? Either way it sounds like you think the baby is a boy, right?
I can also say that finding the birth certificate is a great thing too. I know what it is like to lose important stuff, and even if it can be replaced it still is not easy to deal with. Great you found it....where it was, was odd. What the heck happened that it got there?
Dr A is who he is. He will never say that he is wrong or that you caught something he screwed up. Never. That is not you; that is him.
Dr b, for all his kindness will not betray another doctor, even if it means you take a hit. Unfair, but that is how it will go down. They will stick together...He was right about the fact that it is Dr a's call, but he (dr b) was wrong not to at least support you somehow in this process.
Your opinion has merit. You have shown that it does. You do not deserve that type of treatment. And, you should be recognized for the good work that you are doing.
What would happen if you spoke up about the fact that more junior nurses are out and about doing other things, and that you are still trapped, not being able to work triage? That does not seem fair at all.
I try not to problem solve as you know better than I what to do; But, can you put that complaint into a well crafted letter to whoever could get you out of there? I mean...Now that you are out of danger for your license, you can now afford to be a bit more direct. Would it hurt you to do so, you think? I do not know the politics of all of this but I feel that after being there a year you should be given other opportunities. It isn't right.
It doesn't matter if dr b is pissed. You are entitled to recognition, and him knowing bt your report that a bromance overtook your clinical thoughts is crazy on both dr a and b's part. Steven
I am back from the wilderness...safely.
My wife had a doctor like yours. He was great, but because it was a larger practice you never quite knew what you were going to get. It was a toss up if you went into labor when he was around. And you really did give him a hard time. The poor guy. He is surrounded by all these woman and you have to make a comment about him being in trouble and then you sexualized his job. Nice work there. Yes, that is a good chops busting.
Dr b? I hope he stays. For all the stuff that goes on around there he is a good influence and to a good extent, trustworthy and consistent. I am eager to hear if he is able to do what he needs to, to stay.
I can say that dr a's personality type is not one to really care about what a "nurse" thinks of him. So, he might be mildly offended that you seem not to like him, but I doubt it will go anywhere. He has his own cadre of hero worshipers and if you are not one of them; well, he will simply punish you by ignoring you or doing what passive aggressive people do. He sees himself as above nurses anyway. Just for fun: Treat him like you love him next time you meet and sugar coat it. Watch how quickly he will respond to you. It is all about ego for him. I can't know for certain, but I suspect that he will not fight with dr b about you.
I still think if you can avoid contact with the administrator and also avoid the topic of Dr b, so much the better. I know nothing, nothing...might be a good mantra for you in that situation. Steven
No, no Indiana Jones Hats or hairy people, just lots of noise and traffic.
Funny you should mention the ob/gyn thing and sex. My wife and I talk about that sometimes. We have noticed that a large number of the ob/gyn's seem to have lots of kids. How on earth they get sexually aroused after dealing with those visualizations all day is beyond me. Freud said that some careers are sublimated desires, simply socially acceptable ways to express deeply disturbed tendencies that otherwise would make the person a social pariah. Ever wonder if ob/gyn's, some of them, are actually perverts? It is an interesting and disturbing thought. Not that your doctor is that way...
Why do you need two sonos? That sounds medically unnecessary and a waste of your time and insurance dollars. Really, two?
Dr b and texts...well, not totally surprised if he did not respond. That is not a sign that he is unhappy with you but may be a sign that he has made a choice that is not the one you want to hear. He seems more insecure than dr a, and I wonder if he made a choice that is different than the one you wish. Could be...or simply he didn't want to announce his choice via a text. I get that too.
I believe that just treating dr a nicely will freak him out. It will make him wonder what he did to make you do happy. And, I think he will try a number of things to see if he can keep that reaction going. He likes attention, even if from a nurse. Nah, no playing the relationship card. That is too direct I feel. Instead, tell dr a that you think he's great. Watch that reaction, from both of them.
What is with the Philippine nurses comment? Steven
So sorry I did not get back to you sooner. We had a number of thefts at work, four laptops were stolen and somehow I was elected to file the reports, etc.
If I saw women naked all day would I get desensitized? Yes. I would. I think that must happen to an extent with ob/gyn's and their lives too. Unless of course it really is an obsession of some sublimated nature. But then it could be obligatory too. The orthodox doctors have sex the 14th day after their wives' cycle ends...pretty fertile on average, so lots of kids!
Not all careers can fulfill sublimated desires. Fast food probably does not, unless you secretly wanted to give bad service, hang with people who love the smell of grease, and work with others who want to ruin the diets of Americans and others across the world.
It is far more noble to want for Dr b what is best, XXXXX XXXXX you do lose a friend. It is sad, true, but if this helps him more, then so be it. And, you're probably right, he didn't answer because he didn't know the full story yet. I do not ever recall two sonos in a row. One at the start and one near the end...but then again my wife was pregnant when they were still giving that ridiculous APT test that showed a significant number of women that they were giving birth to retarded children... when in fact they were not. Things have changed no doubt since we had kids. Many two sono's is now the standard?
Don't think of it as being phony to Dr a. Think of it as a social experiment.
Tired and lazy is par for the pregnancy course don't you think? Plus, you just resolved a major employment scare; came from a good but stressful vacation and lived as best as you could with relatives and a weird b-day party. Many of us feel so lazy we will not even feed ourselves at times. That is why they invented delivered food. And of course Kate would be wild chidl when you need her not to be...kids have special sensors that tell them when to have behavioral issues. I had my kids' removed. It was worth the cost. lol Steven
Each of us at work has an additional role. Mine is head of staff safety. That includes training staff how to defuse a crisis and how to talk down someone who is aggressive, etc. But it also entails filling out all the forms and changing locks when someone is fired, or like this stuff, when things turn up missing. It is better than being the guy who deals with building heat and cooling. That is the worst as it never works right.
Everyone is special. But, not all are special to us. People who others think are good looking, I would bet that many of them are bot good looking to you. So, only certain people seem special or get noticed, right? Some men, on the other had, just seem to be perverts in general. I have yet to figure our why they seem to be interested in anyone female.
How did you know the woman was a playmate? She wasn't wearing ears I am sure. This I have to know.
I believe that women are not as dominant visually/sexually as men. But I feel both sexes can become disillusioned if overexposed to sexual things. That is why porn removes so much of a man's desire to be with his wife if he is a regular user of it.
I think your a perfect match for retail, right? There are no odd people in that career...lol And, you could take out all your frustration on people, as you said, sending them down the wrong departments. I cannot imagine you working retail...
Let me know about dr b.
Heck, unmotivated has nothing to do with weather. It can be wonderful and people still feel unmotivated. Plus, you are pregnant, tired and exhausted. You need this down time; it's been go, go, go all the time. Your body is just telling you what your mind does not want to admit. You're fried and need the rest.
We need a new thread. Steven