Hey Kate. Dinner and stuff was okay tonight except I had a headache and took some meds and fell asleep before dinner. Then after dinner we played scattergories and P's brother kept using racial slurs and I was infuriated. He thought it was funny how mad I got. I did
not. There's no call for that. I'm still mad. I mean, really?
I still kind I have a headache, but it's not too bad. I don't know if I'm getting so many headaches from the barometric changes or because of this emotional stuff. But I'm taking way too many migraine meds. I'm going to run out of my prescription before the time to refill it. Oh well.
When I fell asleep at Laura's, it was just a few minutes, but I woke up thinking about the thing I told you. I'm upset about it. DO you really still feel okay with me after what I told you? I've not told a single sole about that.
I think P's a little irritated I'm not going to church again. But I don't want to go, and it's my choice.
This is so hard, Kate. I nothing is how I thought it was or would be. Nothing is fair and I didn't know feelings could hurt this bad. I know life isn't fair. That was a mantra of my parents'. I heard it a hundred times. But i can accept that without liking it and still wondering why, can't I?
I'm glad I didn't watch any of those videos. You are right.
In the incident you heard abou recently, is the woman okay? What happened? Obviously she reported it. Did they catch the guy(s)? Does it scre you for your daughters knowing what goes on in the world?
Uggg. I just feel so bad and sad
and wronged. I know it's a little late to be mad, but I am mad too. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I event think I hate the other one. I hope the mean one is dead. That's not very Christian especially since the chances he was saved are minimal. but I feel that way. Maybe if he were dead them he wouldn't be part of me anymore. I wish they were both castrated. It would be like taking away their weapons, right? How many women have there been? I've searched and searched the net for any reports in ohio and Indiana that might be them. I've found nothing. I wish I knew, but kind of don't want to know.
When I think of what happened, I partially think that I couldn't stand to ever have sex with a guy again. Ever. But part of me is sad for what I've missed and hopeful that I can sometime know what it is lik without pain and with soneone I love. But I don't know. I'm so confused. I wish I could keep one issue and one feeling in my mind at a time. It's overwhelming how much there is there.
I'm sorry I'm babbling. I'm not feeling great and I'm sure the headache med aren't helping.
Good night and, again, have a great mother's day. Have a relaxing and fun trip! If you're going to the mountains, it's always nice to play some John Denver on the way :)