Hello. I'm in a horrible situation. Question is how to explain to the person ( looks that he has some mental disorders) that I don't want to be with him, make him not interesting in me at all, and leave me alone? Week ago, me with my 2 years old daughter were walking home through the local park. I decided to stay for half an hour on playground for her to play. Next to the playground there is a football field, where were playing few guys. I didn't know them. After some time they stopped playing and one of them decided to come and talk to me. To say that he likes me a lot, if I have boyfriend and so on. I tried to be polite, was answering his questions ( that I don't have anyone for a moment), but not very inthusiastic to keep him away. After some time I decided that it is enough, time to go home. He asked me for my tel number, I said that I don't want to give it. He offered to give his, and if I want I call. I started to enter his number, just to make him to leave me in peace, in the same time looking after my child, but entering his name and showing him if I spelled it right, he pressed the button on my phone and called to himself. So he got my number! Because he didn't look like a crazy person, I didn't really cared about it. My mistake. He didn't followed us till my house ( I hope), so I hope he doesn't know where exactly I live.Next day he sent me message in the morning - good morning. Call me through times on the day, but I didn't answer. Next day, same story, I decided to answer his call this time. He started to ask me where I'm, when I will tell him if I gonna be his girlfriend and so on. It looks like he is ignoring what I'm saying, that I'm 30 and he is 22, that I can not decide in one second that I want to be with some one. All my words, what normal person would understand, he doesn't hear.So it is one week since I met him first time in my life, every day I find 20 miss calls from him, messages asking to pick up my phone. I was ignoring this, but today decided to answer and sent him a message, telling that he is nice person, but I can not be with him and want to give one more time to my husband (it was lie, but I didn't know what else to say), and it is better for him to find another girl and to delete my number from his phone.The answer which he sent to me, made me feel very uncomfortable and some how scared.He is saying he loves me, doesn't want to be with anyone else and if I don't trust him he is gonna cut his veins in front of me. That he doesn't advise me to go back to person who cheat on me. If I want I can do it, but my child is his child. Every third phrase was I love you and that I have to understand his feelings and not to make him crying.So I understand that he is a mad person now, but how much I don't really know and don't have any idea what he can do to reach his goal. I'm keeping ignoring his calls and messages, but I don't know what can be his next step - to search where I live, or some how threaten me...Would like to know expert opinion what else I can expect from this kind of person, what can be done on this early stage to cut off his paranoic interest in me and to leave me and my child alone.Thank you.
Person's Gender: Female
Person's Age: 30
To ignore him and to explain that he is not right.
Hello, I am here for you and am happy to respond. Give me a moment to carefully read over and consider your question.
How very frightening, dear!!! He is psychotic and a STALKER!! Does he know where you live?
Hi, I responded to you last question, but it did not go through.
Yes, I would go to the police and tell them what is going on. Here in the states a restraining order would be issued to keep him from contacting or coming near you and if he did he would be arrested. I imagine it is similar in the UK. I encourage you to change phones or phone #s asap. You want to immediately cut off all ways of him reaching you.
I apologize for my answer not reaching you sooner. I see that you have now gone offline. I know it is late in the UK. Chat back if you need any further help. I wish you safety, take care, Eleanor
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Hello, I think there is error on this page server and can not reach your answer. Could you please tell me what else I can typically expect from this kind of person. Asking just in case to be prepared.
Sorry we are problems on the page. I will retype my answer for you.
Yes, I would go to the police and tell them what is going on. Here in the states a restraining order would be issued to keep him from contacting or coming near you and if he did he would be arrested. I imagine it is similar in the UK. I encourage you to change cell phones or phone #s asap. You want to immediately cut off all ways of him reaching you. He will feed on any contact whatsoever, even hearing your voice mail message or being able to leave you a message. DO NOT REPLY TO HIM!!! You will only be feeding his obsession with you if you do. You cannot reason with this man as he is very, very mentally ill.
You can expect that he will continue to try to stalk you. I would inform friends and family about what is going on and get someone to stay with you for a while if they can. Stay away from the park where you met him. Do everything you can think of to protect yourself.
I am not trying to alarm you unduly, but this is very serious and you need all the help you can find to get through this. Chat back if you have any further question. Hope this goes through!
I wish you peace and safety, take care, Eleanor
Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
Hello again, dear. Just checking back to see how things are going. Eleanor
Hello, thank you, it seems things are better now. I did accept your answer. Sorry, i know it is comfusing, but as you remember it was some error on the server, and i didn't recieve your answer first time, but when you had sent it again i accepted it. Thank you, for your great help!
I don't know, what exactly going on, because i can access your answers just directly from site, but not through my email, it shows smth like - " access to the server is denied", may be here is a problem. Because if i look directly within my justanswer account, it shows that your answer is accepted and paid for it. I will contact justanswer to see how they can help here.