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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Kate: Client meeting went fine. I am humbled by the number

Resolved Question:

Kate:

Client meeting went fine. I am humbled by the number of really big, good clients other attorneys send to me. I don’t advertise. I am happy doing small potatoes stuff and certainly want to avoid ever getting into a high profile matter again, after I ended up representing a person the media toted “the Bernie Madoff of the West” (all public record so I can share that :) ). I didn’t know if I’d get any clients when I left the old firm. I get so many referrals from other attorneys and clients that I can kind of pick and choose at this point. LP is really getting a lot of value in new business when I go back. But that’s the benefit of being honest and respectful in cases. Most of the referrals I get are from attorneys I worked against.

Anyway ... have another client in a few minutes.

I am not upset with myself about misjudging the therapy process, because if I had judged it accurately, I would not have done it. And I misassessed the potential benefits as well. I t was a GOOD thing I didn’t know how hard and long it would be. I am very optimistic about the eventual outcome. But as one of my clients told me recently “we just need to work on narrowing down ‘eventual.’” As I said, too – I already got 2 unexpected benefits — finding out about and starting treatment for the sleep issues and the ADD. I’m already better off than I was before.

But is it normal to take this long? Or do I just fight it too much?

I know I can do this. I keep telling myself that. And it helps to know that stopping now would make things stay worse. So I shouldn’t complain about this process, since it will be beneficial in the long run, but it really does suck. I have felt more crazy since I’ve been in therapy than I ever did before. And more unhappy.

I wanted to let you know that I came very close, last night after everyone else left the office, to trying the cutting thing. I just needed some relief. And for whatever reason, I always keep a razor blade in my drawer. But I know how stupid that would be, and it would just compound things. So I didn’t. I just used it to cut up a legal pad into little pieces, which was actually kind of therapeutic. :) Messy, though.

I assumed he wasn’t your therapist, and I know that is a major no-no. But I didn’t want to word it that way (like, “I assume he wasn’t your therapist...”) because I didn’t want to judge. I’m glad he wasn’t, though. I’m sure it does happen (and I’m sure people lose their licenses over it). I can’t think of many situations that would create a more imbalanced dynamic in a relationship. Plus, I have read that it is common for clients to develop sexual and emotional attractions to their opposite-sex therapists, which is not really being in “love,” but could seem like it, and so it would be so unfair for a therapist to capitalize on that. And for someone needing a relationship and love, I think it would be easy to think you’re in love with your therapist – I mean, how many men are you going to find that listen and care and help and are empathetic and act like you are the center of the universe when you are in their presence – even if only an hour a week. It would be easy to misinterpret. I would think it would be especially difficult working with teenagers.

Okay .. Onto my next client .....

Do you mind that I’m talking a lot today? I just feel very on edge and need to stay connected until my appointment with Linda tonight. Is that okay?

S
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Shay,

 

It's great that you have so many good clients. And that you are so respected by other attorneys. I can imagine that there is a lot competition out there and getting good clients would be tough.

 

It is very normal that therapy takes a while. Some people can be in therapy for a short time, but that is mostly when they are dealing with something simple like adjusting to a new situation. But when it comes to most issues, people need time to work through them. And it also depends very much on childhood problems, coping skills, type of trauma, etc. You have not been in therapy very long considering your issues and you are making very quick progress.

 

Resistance is also an issue. In your case, intellectualizing is a benefit in most of your life, but when it comes to therapy it can block progress. But you are aware of it and already know how to work through it.

 

I am glad that you were able to talk yourself out of cutting last night. Cutting is a sign that the pain you feel is too overwhelming. It might help if we went over some ways you can distract yourself if you ever feel like cutting again.

 

You have really good insights when it comes to the therapy client relationship and getting involved with each other! That is exactly how it is. And when someone falls in love with their therapist, there is a whole issue of transference that goes along with that. If the therapist is knowledgeable they will address that.

 

It is just fine that you are talking to me today! I don't think it's too much at all.

 

Talk with you soon,
Kate

 

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5467
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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