Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
You will not go in circles with the realizations. What sometimes happens is you see a piece of the insight, just a little bit. It comes to you that way because at the time, that is all your mind can cope with. As you work deeper into your issue, the piece gets bigger and bigger until the whole thing is revealed. It is too difficult for your brain to absorb all of what you feel at once, and that is ok. It's a defense to protect yourself from too much at once. You will never go back to not seeing these insights unless you make a big effort to cover them up again. Even then, it's like an elephant in the room.
You do have to reveal a lot of very personal things when you work out an assault like you suffered through. And it can be embarrassing. You are telling people you don't really know personal things about something that most people have the privilege to keep to themselves. But because of what those guys did, you have to share intimate details about yourself in order to get better.
Although it doesn't change that you have to share what happened to you, it may help to know that not only do therapists keep all things you say confidential, we also don't see it the same as you do. We are not looking for the details of your attack because we get a personal thrill out of it (which is a very unhealthy reaction in the first place) but because we are seeing it from your perspective, seeking to understand how you feel, your reaction to the attack and how we can help you find peace and cope better with what you went through. Therapists hear so many personal stories that involve private details that most of us don't react like anyone else would. It's like asking your ob/gyn if they get something out of seeing their 1:00 appointment. To them, they are looking for disease, disorder and the overall health of the patient, not what the person looks like without their clothes on.