Hello, I am here for you and am happy to respond. Give me a moment to carefully read over and consider your question.
I am sorry to hear you are having such difficulty leaving your home. Can you give me some examples of the repeditive things you find yourself having to do.
I understand. Do you live with your father now?
And how about your mother?
for your mum?
What illness does your mother have?
Oh my goodness. And you care for her all by yourself, dear?
This must be very stressful for you.
Do you have siblings?
And you grandmother live with you as well?
Oh, I am so very sorry. I know you miss her very much and must be very lonely now that she is gone.
How old were you when you noticed your inablility to complete things?
Was that about the time your mum began to get worse?
Yes, that makes sense. When did your parents separate?
That's a bit sad.
And what about your happiness, dear?
In addition to your mum getting worse?
Oh my, I am sorry. Were you afraid of him?
Do you believe that is part of the reason you have difficulty leaving your house?
Why are you self conscious?
I understand how that could make you feel self conscious. Are you extremely overweight?
Well, it's just that sometimes we are more critical of ourselves than we need to be.
Think that you are too critical of yourself?
Well, that it is hard to lose weight when you can't bring yourself to leave the house to even take a walk, isn't it?
How do you feel chatting with me?
Good. Have you ever thought of finding a therapist for yourself? Psychotherapy would be just like our chat, only in person.
Yes, that's true. You are in Australia?
Where is Australia?
I am in the US. Here many therapists will see some of their clients at a reduced fee if they cannot afford therapy. Since you are in a big city, there should be therapists there who could do this for you. But, I guess first, you have got to deal with being able to get out of the house.
Well, I cannot be your therapist, but I could provide you some support in taking steps (HaHa) to be able to actually find and go see someone.
Would you like this?
Well, I can only make a hypothesis. I believe there are a combination of things going on with you. First, you are living in a very stressful situation and are very depressed. Depressed people have no motivation to do anything and do not follow through. Some Depressed people also eat to comfort themselves and gain weight, others cannot eat and lose weight. You are also living in fear of your uncle and this causes a lot of anxiety.
When we are anxious it is difficult to stay on task and complete anything. So I believe you are Clinically Depressed and have related Anxiety. But remember this is not a diagnosis as I have not seen you in person for an evaluation.
Clinical Depression is most effectively treated with psychotherapy sometimes combined with anti-depressant medication. Which is why I am hoping you can bring yourself to see someone.
You need someone to talk with about your life and your feelings, a therapist.
Does this seem to fit for you?
I understand, but I mean do you feel like I am on target about you suffering from Depression and Anxiety?
Well, as I said, it is only a hypothesis.
Have you ever thought of joining an online support group for those living with someone with Schizophrenia?
Good for you. I am not keen on anti-depressants either. But I know psychotherapy works!
I know. Wishing is a good first step. I must leave the site soon for the evening. Do you have any further questions for me, dear?
It has been my pleasure! If you would like to talk again in the future, I would welcome another question from you. I think you have taken the first step tonight! I will be thinking of you, take care, Eleanor
I would like to respond to your question. I can understand how challenging this is as you are dealing with a difficult situation.
You wrote that you have difficulty leaving your home. It sounds like you have been working very hard to take care of your mum and that you feel scared of your uncle as he is dangerous. The situation with your uncle must have been hard for you as well.
In your posting, you said you have anxiety. I would encourage you to do some reading about a specific type of anxiety called agoraphobia. I think you will find this quite enlightening.
Let me offer you some thoughts on how to handle your anxiety. First, it is important to be able to name what you are feeling. In what you have written, it may be that you are feeling overwhelmed or trapped as you are unsure how to handle the intense needs of your mum. When you have strong feelings it is common to try to use logic to try and talk yourself out of the feeling so it doesn't impact you as much. This is normal, but doesn't help. It is far better to give yourself permission to have your feelings. So, for example, you might say, "It is okay for me to feel overwhelmed in a situation that is overwhelming." In this way, you give yourself a way to validate the feeling rather than fighting it. It is like swimming in the ocean, if you try to stand tall against an incoming wave it knocks you over, but if you go with it and rock forward you have more control. So you have to go with the feeling to work with it. This is a beginning.
Then you can began to problem solve. I encourage you to get additional support to help you with your mum. Is there a social service agency in your community that assists caregivers with a family member who has a mental illness. Gaining such help would be important for you, and for your mum.
This type of support is often called "respite care". I encourage you to check to see if this type of service is available where you live.
I will wait for your reply.