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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Customer Question

Hi Kate**************************
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
I have it!
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Kate,

thank you, XXXXX XXXXX as ever. Sam took the ride with D, I was glad not to have to go. I met with the holiday cottage owners who have asked me to care-take it, 'meet and greet' the holiday makers, and do the change-overs on Saturdays. I hope I can cope with something else, but hope it won't be too stressful. Poppy will be helping me with the change-overs, the cleaning and changing the beds, a bit of pocket money for her, she is quite excited.

It was just luck that I have been given Ziggy, I found her on their website when I checked it out when I first heard I'd get an outreach worker, and thought to myself I hope that's her!! She is on leave next week, so she will ring me when she is back the following week.

Well, I don't have any cold symptoms, but my throat is unbearable, and I have additional aches and pains, headache etc. Maybe tonsillitis, I'm not sure. I just hope I can sleep tonight, that will help no doubt.

Are you packed? Ready to roll first thing? How far are you travelling, N,S, E or W? Maybe you can whisper where you're going? :)

Goodnight Kate, it's nice thinking of a little family get away, as an ensemble. I've been allowing myself to think it might be me one day ;)

Rosex
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Rose,

It sounds like you have yourself another job! Do you think you will enjoy it?

I hope you are feeling better soon. Throat pain is awful. Do you think it could be strep throat?

I am heading south to the mountains in Virginia. For my special day, I got a cabin in the woods. It's a place I've never been to but everyone says it's nice so I have high hopes! I'll let you know how it is when I write (if I can get the internet working out there in the middle of no where!).

If you feel up to it, have some nice tea, take some aspirin and get some good rest. You deserve the down time. I'll say a prayer that you feel better soon.

Good night, Rose.

Katex
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Morning Kate,

are you excited? Hope you all are :) Is Virginia the next state down? Not too far to drive. We are having beautiful weather at last, hope you will too. And a cabin in the woods! I have a lovely image of that, I am very excited for you.

I am a little anxious about this new job, but I was asked, and thought I need the money if my plans work out right. I will see how it goes for a week or two, see if I can cope with it all. Gemma next door will help me if I need it, and Poppy too. It will do me good to have to face people again and help them settle in, be available for any problems that arise. I hope it will help me gain confidence in communicating with people.

I must remember your aspirin advice, especially if it will help me sleep. It will have a double effect, I will try it tonight. Strep is a more likely diagnosis, especially as I have been sleeping badly, stressed, not eating well, and with my defenses down. It certainly knocks you for six, I took Lola in the field earlier for frisbee, and had to become recumbent. Now I can throw a frisbee where-ever and how ever I am, even with my eyes shut!!

I have given up trying to get Sam to study. I am disappointed. Thank you for the cannabis. I will try to talk to him again now I have read them. I know he is also using NOS, as all the kids seem to, a 'legal high'. I am definitely feeling out of control. But I don't feel I can deal with it at the moment.

I am resting. Will try to sleep. Hope your journey goes safely and timely, not too many roadworks!

Happy Mother's Day :)

Rose
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Makes me smile, for you

.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Rose,

You always make me smile! Thank you so much for both of the pictures. And Happy Mother's Day to you too, though I know you celebrate on a different day.

Virginia is within a few hours so it's not a bad drive. We went all back roads this time, something we have never done before and it was a very nice way to go. And the cabin is great. I'm still getting acclimated to where everything is!

I am glad that you got the new job then, if you feel ok about it. The money will really help, especially if you end up having Dave leave the home and you are on your own. It may make things a lot easier. And I agree, it's good practice for dealing with other people.

Let me know how the aspirin works out. I will keep looking around for other remedies for your sleep and for the pain.

I am sorry about Sam. Having a child who is using can be very stressful. Take one step at a time and don't let yourself get overstressed about it. You can't help Sam if you are too tired to help yourself.

Good night, Rose! I hope you have a good and restful sleep. I'll check in again in the morning.

Katex
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey Kate,

glad you've arrived safely. Have a lovely time. I'll talk tomorrow. Sleep well in your log cabin in the woods :) (I'm imagining brown bears keeping you company, or other wildlife that I can't think of!)

Rosex
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Rose, you always bring a smile to my face! I could just imagine bears chasing me or surprising me on the porch. I actually had a bear visit on another vacation, climbing all over the truck parked in the driveway. It is not an event for the weak hearted :)

 

I hope you had a good night. I will check in tonight in case you post.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey Kate, Darn it, I knew I'd miss you! Mark visited; I'm finding his visits more and more of a strain, mainly bc I'm not sharing with him, and I know he's ever hopeful. He made himself a coffee, then left, then came back to borrow something of D's, then I was stuck again.

I forgot the Aspirin again. I must remember it tonight. But I have braved a visit to my GP, maily bc I have run out of diazepam and didn't want to be in a position where I feel more anxious bc I have no diazepam!! But of course she wanted to know where I was at. I told her as best I could. She said I'm doing really well :)

I have an afternoon at home, just me and the dogs. I've tended the ponies, and sorted their electric fence, pulled up some stinging nettles, my hands are zinging now!

Hope you've had a great day, and that the weather has been good. Look forward to hearing about your adventures!

Til later

Rose
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.
Rose,

I'm sorry to hear that Mark is bothering you. Is there a way to avoid him? Or maybe tell him that you feel uncomfortable talking with him with the situation that you are dealing with right now in your marriage. Let him know that talking with him makes it worse for you. Maybe it will help him to see that his visits only distress you and make things hard on you.

I'm glad things worked out with your doctor. Now that you have gone through the social services situation, maybe there is not much else she can do except support you, which would take some pressure off you!

I hope the rest of your day is good. I'll check back in tonight to see how you are.

Kate
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Kate,

I hope you've had a really good day, been thinking about you, orienteering in the forest, bird-watching, wildlife spotting (am I close??!)

I've been quiet this afternoon, had a nice rest before supper. I feel bad, but I try not to eat my meal with D, just don't want to be that close and have enforced company with him. He's gone out now. He still tries to make conversation, I'm not rude, but I offer little in return.

Sam has his first exam tomorrow. He is upset with himself bc he can't study. I have had to leave him to it.

Poppy has died her hair black!!! She is naturally dark brown, and has recently been midnight red, which I liked, but now black, well, no doubt I'll get used to it.

I have emailed my GP. I really don't know why I feel the need to contact her, but there were some things that I wasn't able to tell her this morning. I doubt I'll hear back from her, she is a woman of very few words (if any) when it comes to emails!!

Well, I guess if you're deep in the woods, then it's home cooking for dinner, unless there is a diner around the corner! (Or a carry-out?!)

Have a good evening, I am so enjoying my images of you all in the forest, miles from anywhere :)

Goodnight Kate, your last night at 21!!

Rosex

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Sooooo Cute Laughing
Morning Kate,
Have a Wonderful 'special' day Wink
Thinking of U
HUGS
Rosex
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Rose,

Thank you! Last night being 21 indeed! Gosh, I wish. Though I would want that youth with a large does of the experience I have now. I couldn't imagine being that naive again!

I think it's perfectly fine that you take your meals elsewhere away from Dave. You are asking him to leave and he is refusing. He has to know that by staying, he is making things difficult. If you carry on as usual, then he will think everything is ok and he can stay. He thinks that now, or maybe it's just what he puts out there to make it sound like he believes it. Inside, I think he is well aware that everything is not fine. But he is probably so resistant to being on his own, he does what he can to ignore the situation, hoping you will give in.

The more you protect yourself and show him that you are not going to change your mind, the better it is for you. He may not like it and try to escalate his behavior, but that only means you are being effective in your message that he needs to go.

I hope Sam does well on his exams. Does he feel he cannot study because of the ADHD or other reasons?

Poppy with black hair, hmmm. It sounds like she is a typical teen, trying on different personas. Nikki had me put blond streaks in her hair yesterday. She has light brown hair so they look nice. But she really wants green and blue ends on her hair. Thankfully the hair stylist is hesitant to do it due to her age. Add to that the expense and it's out of the question!

I hope your doctor does get back to you. Let me know what she says if she does.

Thank you so much for the pictures of Pooh! I enjoyed waking up to that, smiling. You are always so thoughtful, Rose. And I'm glad to have you share the day with me.

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Thanks Kate,

Hope you're off out to have a great day out. Did you get breakfast in bed??

catch you later (I'm at work :()

have fun

rose

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

No breakfast in bed but that is ok. I'm not big on that anyway. We are going to eat out for dinner though so I'll save my appetite for that!

 

I hope work is going well for you.

 

Talk with you soon,

 

Kate

Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hey Kate,

hope you've had a great day, and a fab meal out.

Have had a big fight with Poppy tonight, but made up now. Long talk with Karen... Another one of those days :(

D has requested a 'talk' tomorrow. Feeling scared. Maybe good, maybe not.

Goodnight Kate, Happy Birthday ;)

Rosex


Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

Thank you, Rose! I appreciate it.

I am sorry about your argument with Poppy. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?

How was your session with Karen?

It's interesting that Dave wants a long conversation with you. I imagine that he will be focused on staying with you and in the home. Do you feel you want to talk with him? Because there is a choice about it. You don't have to. You can always let him know that you are done with the situation and the only thing you need from him is the date when he is leaving, or words to that effect. Or you can talk with him if you want. But if you do, you may want to take time to think through what you want to say. He may try to distract you and confuse you, or even blame you and turn this in to an argument to upset you.

Try working on three or four statements you feel would answer most of what he might say. It's hard to do when you are not sure exactly what he might say, but you may already have an idea after all the "talks" you have had before. If you do come up some general statements, try sticking to them no matter what he says. That will help you stay in control and feel calmer when you talk with him.

Let me know how it goes. I will on the road today and hope to reach home by this evening. I'll check in then.

You are in my thoughts, Rose.

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Kate,

thank you for your thoughts about my 'talk' with D. As it turned out, he talked, I couldn't. I wish I could have been strong, I was for a while, but not it has gone. I have posted on another thread, I'm trying to be good and do this JA thing right, but they don't like the way I ask you questions in advance. I am upset about it.

Rose
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 2 years ago.

I responded to the post on the other thread. I'm sorry that JA is not letting you post ahead of time. That makes it easier for you. Maybe they will work out a way to let you do something that works!

See you on the other thread,

Kate

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