It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed with your emotions. That is ok. Take it in steps. Just reaching out and talking with me is a good sign!
There is a lot you are dealing with.
How did your talk go with Sam? Was it about his drug use or something else?
What did you and Linda talk about?
The outreach worker got in touch with you! That is great. I know you were waiting patiently to hear from them. What did she say? Anything that you feel will help?
And your solicitor got in touch? I hope that turned out well. What did he have to say?
What is the local news?
Deep breath, try relaxing with progressive muscle relaxation. Everything is ok, just a little overwhelming for now. Let's talk it out and see what we can work on.
Rose, It is perfectly fine to email Adele and let her know how you are feeling. Hopefully, her email will work and she can contact you and give you some support.You certainly have been busy! I will help you with Sam and how to talk with him. He sounds a bit like he is imitating Dave in his challenge with you. It is not for you to prove to him that smoking weed is bad for him. You are the parent and he is still living in your home. He needs to know there are boundaries to his behavior. Just so you know, here is a link to the effects of weed:http://alcoholism.about.com/od/pot/a/effects.-Lya.htm
That way, you are armed and ready to talk with him again.I am glad you shared with Linda. It was hard, I know (how could something like that be easy for anyone?) but you are so brave. And sharing your burden can only help you. Plus, you get another person to support you. I hope you can get Ziggy to contact you. The support would be really nice. I can't believe that your attorney won't contact you! You must feel terribly frustrated. I am sorry he is doing this. You are doing all you can to make this happen and he is bailing on you. I hope he contacts you soon. What do you feel it was about your session that is staying with you?Kate
Rose,I am sorry I missed you. I had wanted to connect with you again today. You are feeling so down that my heart is hurting for you.Feeling inadequate can be linked directly with childhood experiences. Feeling ashamed, questioning your worth, and feeling powerless are all strong indications that you did not get your needs met as a child and instead were made to feel horrible about yourself. You are still looking through those childhood glasses, the ones that your parents put on you. They have become who you think you are, rather than what reality is. Reality is that you are the opposite of those things. You are worthy, strong and resourceful. Kind, compassionate, caring. And smart, very smart. You see things that very few people do. Your words jump off the page, full of poetry, describing your feelings with such fullness that I feel as if I am next to you, seeing it all. These are the parts of you that you sometimes embrace. But it is often a fragile embrace, easily questioned by Dave and others. Adele is correct in what she is telling you. I feel the same as she does. You do as well, you just don't allow it in, choosing the self doubt instead. You are absolutely right in what you are doing. Getting out of your marriage is imperative. And you are right, you could not make this stuff up. If you could, you really need to go to Hollywood, you'd make a mint! What Dave does to you and the kids is horrifying. Your perception is correct. You are doing the right thing by getting out.It is often the case when you have been traumatized to not believe what you see. It is because what you have been through is so out of the ordinary, so bad that you literally cannot believe what has happened. So you try to normalize it in your mind saying that what you see and feel cannot be real, it's too outrageous. And you are used to taking in what others think so when Dave denies hurting you, you question yourself. The key is to teach yourself to trust your own instincts and what you see and feel. And those around you who truly care about you. Everyone who hears about you and Dave is behind you getting out to help yourself and the kids. Listen to everyone except Dave. And most of all listen to yourself. You are worthy of that. Thank you for sharing part of your name with me. I liked learning about you, even if it was in the context that it was. I am so sorry about the pain you are feeling. I am here for you. I want to be sure we connect as much as you need as you work through this. I'll check in tomorrow to see if you have posted.Have a good night, Rose. You are in my prayers.Katex
Sorry about that! I will let the moderators know so they may be able to process what they call a no click accept (they will put it through for you). If they can't help then don't worry about it. I enjoy talking with you regardless!
I think it's a great idea to change your name, but only if you feel it would be something you really want. I think no matter your name, you are always a beautiful person to me!
I did get the accept. Thank you so much. I am always grateful for how thoughtful you are with me. But you know I want to talk with you either way. I so enjoy our time together!