After being away from that stress mine, I am not at all surprised that you would find, conscious and unconscious ways to avoid it. WHo would want to go back to any job after a week's + vacation, but this job, with all the stress. A part of me would understand if you found a way to never go back.
I hope you are not telling me as news that you like to mess with the minds of men. We both have known that for quite a while now. And, you like it. (Don't say you don't). You love to get a male in a place where you can give him a zinger if you can. And, Dr's a and b are completely open to them. I think Dr a would not remember about anyone's vacation but his own, so no worries there. And dr b; that is odd that he forgot. You were talking with him before you went and mentioned it more than once. I sure hope they do not forget the principles of medicine like they forget personal details. And he is staying at your place? (Talk about a salary though. Wow that is a lot of cash. ) And look...he mentioned your name with the good nurses! Now don't tell me you still think you are not a good nurse. You are!
You are so right about Dr a leaving Dr b if he had the shot. He is all about himself. But then again. You know that. He's proven that consistently. Steven
Well, if you had an audience; no they are not going to call you a bad nurse to your face But, I think that they know you are one of the good ones. You catch more concerns and issues and diagnoses than many of the other nurses, and they appreciate your wit and charm. (They do. It is obvious from how they treat you.) And yes: You will be cranky during your pregnancy, but that is to be expected and they will adjust.
That dr a and b thing, where they asked you to be more a part of dr a's cases is just dr a sending a message via dr b. He (dr a) wanted to see if you would say something about his skills, attitude or approach I am sure. That is a man who is insecure who needs to use his power to say...I need you Liz to stroke my ego and make me feel better about myself. And no, he cannot get enough. He is insecure and starving for approval, and he will get it where he can; you, dr b, patients, nurses, anyone. It is really quite sad that a doctor with his looks, and skills and so on is this insecure and needy.
I do not grasp the rules of social media all that well, but it would seem to me that if dr b never responded that it would be shortsighted to assume that he would suddenly appear at a "date" event. I mean it wasn't like they arranged something and then someone messed up the schedule. It isn't even known if Dr b responded or not to the invite. I am not sure how this makes him a coward. Even if he saw the invitation, not going does not make him irresponsible if there was not agreement of a date. The whole thing looks rather insecure on her part and I agree with you. I do not think he is all that interested in her. And, she does not have his phone number? That is not subtle.. Tell me if you were interested in someone that you would not be absolutely certain that you grabbed the phone number? You would, at all costs. For you to have it and her to not. That says it all right there. She has no shot.
I get what you mean about D b selling his career short. Money or not, the opportunity is better for him and staying where he is does not raise his profile one iota. He would do much better pursuing career influence and not just cash. For you and shifts: You have to do what is best for your and your family. Would working days help you see Kate and Rob more? Would it allow you to feel more rested? Would it permit you to deal with pregnancy a bit better while you work? That should be the questions that you answer to help you decide about a change. And yes, dr b should not be the catalyst of change for you.
Hook up with a doctor? Why? The money might be good, but the egos and the arrogance and the overall attitude. It all sucks. Stick with your engineer.
I hear that you are nervous about the changes at work. Changes are usually never all for the best at work, and an increase in oversight is often discouraging. But you also do not want to assume that these changes mean doom for you. Two investigations? Do you not you have to do something wrong first? Be easy on yourself. "What if" in this situation is very unhealthy.
There is no such thing as an anonymous survey but then again I see nothing wrong with telling the truth about the safety and concerns that you see on the job. This is something all administrators what, to know what is really going on. As long as you did not say your concerns with great attitude, you will be fine.
During negotiations I doubt the test issue will survive. There will be too much about salary and hours and benefits to worry about an unapproved test. I think that testis history.
Poor Kate,. I guess it is related to the runny nose and swallowing all that snot. I hope the zyrtec works. This has to stop, for her health and your sanity.
Nope I am happy about Disney. I also overdid it with Disney info. I need to let it all sink in a bit. Steven
Your shift sounded awful! That is a lot of work for someone who feels good, let alone pregnant, dizzy and ill. When you went to get a break and still didn't feel good I think that was the sign that this was more than just tired. I wonder if after all of the Disney trip and the other stresses of the vacation that your body just could not take it anymore and simply gave out. I know you are the Energizer Bunny of effort, as is your daughter, but you can only do too much. I wouldn't put too much stock in this an omen or something, just that you were deeply tired and worn to the bone.
The doctor situation between them is ridiculous. They act like they are boys with toys. And, I know what you mean about being stubborn and unwilling to admit wrong. We had a doctor that wrote a script for some (I think) cardiac medication. He forgot a zero in the dosage and indicated a dose that would stop the heart of a whale. The pharmacist called the doctor saying the scrip was in error and the doctor argued that he was correct. Dr a, just suck it up, and deal with the fact that you are human; respect your nurses and be honest.
The comment about Rob was just plain stupid. Either dr b was out of it, and was not thinking, or (and I hope not) he really feels this way. I suspect this was foot in mouth disease as the comment doesn't really fit his (dr b's) character. I would chock this up to stupidity, not much else.
Just hope the woman dr b wants to be with is not you. I so wish you were not stuck between this administrator thing and dr b. It just is bad news all around as you get to act as a dating monitor/broker between the two, a job you never wanted. Perhaps saying that you just don't want to discuss it would be a good idea at this point,
Sometimes illness wins over will. You just do what you can. I do hope you are feeling better now. Truth is: You have a lot of pressure on you and the State thing which seems to be perpetual can't help you feel any better. It is so easy to let yourself go into that land of what might happen if...And, as you have so little facts to go on, because they will not tell you the situation, all you can do is wonder. But, as we have talked about before, if this case was so cut and dried then this waiting would not occur. This shows that the case is anything but airtight. I would encourage you to see this as a good thing, not a negative.
True, it would be easier if it was settled, but the lack of sleep, your feeling ill, and the pregnancy cannot be helping you either. Just do what you are able Liz. And, try your best not to go where there are no facts. This could, and I think will, work out without your name appearing anywhere on a website. Steven
You made me laugh on that one. Dr a with the munchies. I guess he really did sneak some weed, huh? lol That is just one of those serendipitous moments that you cannot plan, and when it arrives, you just laugh and laugh. I loved it. Good one Liz.
Shame Dr b will not release the hot chick news. Maybe he is embarrassed? Maybe she isn't so hot.
You know. I do realize that you are scared out of your brains to make a mistake and be called on the carpet and disciplined or worse...but even though you covered this mistake, it does not sound like there is too much to it. I can see that if you were already seeing signs of improvement that the likelihood of necrosis is not high. Even I know that.
You already know that I am going to encourage you to tell the truth in the future about this stuff. Really Liz: You are a good nurse and mistakes happen. I know; I know; the hospital environment is brutal with errors and write ups and firings are common, but you have to let some vulnerability out. You will not get fired for something like this if you are truthful. It was a mistake. Just do not play into your fears and run with it. (Easy to say I know.) But honesty about these types of errors is important. It also makes you more real. And, you can't be perfect. That type of pressure, to be perfect, is harsh on you in a very negative way, and it does you no good.
MH cases are fun. I think that most of us worry about whose car is going to be peed on; broken into, violated or scratched. And a lease. You have a tiny mark on the thing and they read you the penalty box verbiage. You have to be careful about that. So no, I don't think you are odd for thinking of your car first. Anyway, she sounds like a substance induced psychosis.
I don't think you will hear about this lady's arm. Steven
What do I think? I think it's great! And, I think you are off the hook. Congratulations!
I also think your attorney is ticked because she is an attorney and was looking for a real fight. This is, as I said...a case that appears to have been started as a personal/marginal thing. I doubt there was ever real evidence that you did anything other than your word against another's. That is why this was always so nebulous. There was not much there. So they say you didn't assess well. That is no big deal. It is a mistake, not an intentional act. So, you are not getting your license touched and you will be fine.
That is the key and now you can keep your job or move on as you wish.
The letter is real. Of that I have no doubt. Cheap paper...of course. It is the State. Our abuse letters naming perpetrators of abuse go out on regular cheap copy grade paper...for real. And, why did it go to you not her? It is your license, not your attorney's. Letters like that are never sent to anyone but the licensed party. Sometimes copies are sent to attorneys but later.
Prepping a huge defense, of course. You have to prepare for the worst. But now it seems all that is not needed. Your attorney wants to feel useful. So, she is posturing and threatening and so forth...but if you want this to be over, it's over. Only your will to sue or get them back will make this go on further.
And, my advice, now that I see the decision: Take this letter at face value and let this end. You may want to kill them for what they did to you. I get that. But, I also know what it is like to sue the system. Proving that destruction of evidence is real sounds great on paper but is nearly impossible in reality. It is costly in time and emotion. You have been through too much already. Yes, it seems anticlimactic.That is due to the energy that you put into this. But now...
This is done. You are free. Have a party. There is no way this is "fake". The State has better things to do than go after you. That is clear. Steven
I can understand why your attorney would want it on record that you did nothing wrong. It is crazy to accuse of you of something; they can't prove it, and then they offer a threat of, if this happens a second time there will not be a reprieve. So, I do get the attorney's thinking. I am also glad to see that you seem inclined to let this go after that. It was a LONG time you endured this wasn't it? The stress was incredible and you really went through it.
Now... know that you may not feel as relieved as you think you should be for a while. That is normal. You will feel uneasy for a time, like this is unreal. You may feel edgy and odd and nervous. You will fluctuate a lot in mood, lots of up and down. You may have a sudden period about a week from now where you feel very depressed for a few days and tearful. That is normal too. You may have a big fight over nothing with family. All is typical, and is your mind's way of releasing this pent up garbage. Simply said, don't expect to feel "better" for at least 4-6 weeks. It will take that long, once the initial relief is felt to go back to pre-event feelings. But once it is gone you will feel much better.
You are good at patient assessment. I don't think the state case reviewer had much to say so they said this and let it go. And, you were smart to call an attorney, not admit anything and fight this out. It helped get you out of this mess, and you did great. You didn't feel that at times throughout this, but you did do very well. You succeeded!
Leave it to your mom to minimize your accomplishment and to talk about, what else, her own issues and worries. And now she wants you to worry about her worries. (And you wonder why you have issues with worry yourself. Look how you were trained, by a true expert in worry and anxiety.) My two cents: Try to avoid being mom's counselor. You have enough on your plate. She doesn't need advice anyway, as you know she will not take it. So, just nod and change the topic. Really...
I laughed at the No Macy's comment. (I'll bet they have Kohl's there in Ohio. Oh yeah....you hate Kohls. Well, no 30% off and Kohl's cash for you then.)
Birthday party issues are like obligations; you have to attend them, and have to deal. I don't see an easy way to avoid them. Guilt isn't great, but then again some things you just have to do and get over.
Tmm#1: He is creepy for sure. It is like he has some odd connection to your life. I can't explain it other than by a clear addiction to you. He has to talk (text at) you sometimes I think, but his timing is otherworldly. I have no good explanation as to how he does what he does timing wise.
Disney is a marketing machine. And would will spend all the Disney dollars? Yes, many will keep them. It is truly brilliant marketing. And, if you keep talking about candy I will have to crawl to Disney. I have a major chocolate weakness, and I love coconut too. And like Jelly Beans too.
I have a vacation and Disney Jar, so to speak. It helps pay for a lot of the ancillary things on vacation, and candy of course. It does add up, all those dollars and quarters. But I can easily see how you could drop 20k at Disney. I am looking at 9-10 for the rooms and food package. The place is really expensive. I do like the Poly, in a way.
I saw a hula show there years ago. I remember the Polynesian girls more than anything else, but then I was a younger man back then and totally enamored with anything with a skirt, grass or otherwise. And dr b as your slave? What do they put in the water at that hospital?
Why couldn't you get this good news before vacation? Then you wouldn't be like most of us; we who never hear the good stuff prior to a fun event, so we are encouraged to worry while we try to have fun. It isn't fair, but it is typical. Steven
I know what you say when I recommend changing cell numbers...but this is insane. You really have enough evidence to pursue a harassment charge if you wanted it. And, the fact he persists without hearing from you is somewhat scary. I am not totally sure of his intent, but his last post is disturbing, and accusatory.
Perhaps looking into totally blocking his access to your cell is a worthwhile effort yet again. It has to be something the company that is your cell carrier can do. Or, the gloves can come off and you send him an attorney letter. (Probably would avoid that option, but this is getting ridiculous.) Steven
Mother's Day is Sunday? Oh, no! (Seriously I have much planned including a get away for my wife and dinner for my mother...I think I am set to go.)
I am so glad for you about your resolution of "no harm to your license".
I do agree that you need to try to get any reference to wrongdoing out of the reports. And, it seems to be the right thing to do, period. You will feel elated, but probably not just yet. Most people who go through this feel numb for a while, then really, really tired, then depressed, then happy; but not in a crazy bark at the moon sort of way.
Disney and reservations...no problem. I will be sure to get them. I am obsessive anyway and would make certain that they knew I was coming to dinner or whatever long beforehand. I don't think I could wait till the last minute.
I was a teenager when I was at Poly. It was a different intensity of hormones back then. I am anything but geriatric, thank you, XXXXX XXXXX am more civil and can see Disney for more than a bunch of costumed young ladies.
And, you...telling me to go ahead and leer? What is that about? Leering is the same as wanting and wanting gets men into trouble. So no leering. Anyway, I am not going to Disney for leering purposes. It is a family park.
Yeah, sounds like Dr B is hooked on the XX Chromosome thing. Some men are, too much. They let women control them as a result. Scary stuff Dr b! Be careful. Steven
Hi, I wanted to let you know a couple of things. One is that some people are reporting that they cannot accept more than one question on a thread. I hope that is only a glitch as it is a real pain to start new questions all the time. And two: Sun, Mon-Tues I may have limited access to internet. Probably not in reality, but just wanted you to know so you didn't think I abandoned you or something. lol
Rob not getting you something for mother's day? And, you are pregnant and have a two year old. He better!! Jewelery works and it is easy to get. Hey, I wouldn't want to be him tomorrow. He better get with it. That is an important day for you.
I can't say I love our minivan. But I don't hate it either. Our (mine and yours) Odyssey's are like tanks, and they are one of the safest cars in the world. So what if they are not Infinity fx's...Pretty cool dad I must say. But we do tend to fall in love with our cars and I still miss my Civic from years back. It was a peach of a car.
You do not have to go through depression again necessarily. Some do, and it is short in duration. I just wanted you to know that it is possible, and by me telling you to expect it, the odds that it will happen decrease as well as the potential severity if it does. Don't worry about that.
I think that considering what to do is a good thing in the legal case. Now you have some breathing room. So, take your time and think this through. Ask lots of different types of people for opinions and thoughts. You d not want to have a lot of regrets that you should have and didn't, and did and should not have.
I agree that the family of that poor old lady should not have been given anything. They killed her. Why give them money for something they did? That is crazy and we wonder why health care is so costly. Look at this nonsense. I agree with you. They are the alleged perpetrators of abuse here, not the hospital.
You did say leer but I did pull it out of context a bit. Okay. Appreciate beauty. I will agree with that. And I can appreciate beauty too. But then again: I still do not like the whole island theme and the clothes and the twirling of fire batons and the dead pig in leaves and dirt steaming it up, all day. Yuk. It is just me. I don't like the idea of tropical anything on vacation. I think Wilderness sounds like great fun.
So as I say...so you like the idea of a slave. Why liz...Steven
Wow, Internet access here is a little tricky. I am in a place that gives new meaning to the word remote. It is a small cabin on an abandoned farm. (sounds creepy, but ,as the the surrounding woods and field make it look like something out of the 1700's, and it has a hot tub, etc. Not bad. And, I have to really squint to see my closest neighbor about a quarter mile away.
I have no idea what is going on with JA. They are changing to Pearl and there are a number of odd reports that some other experts (now called professionals) are giving about how the system works. Nothing serious or bad, but new and different. I think it will be better overall though.
No money. That never changes. By Mother's Day is something that should be recognized. I hope he gave you at least a card, or had Kate scribble one out. Something, right? And, I will not "ditch" you...even on vacation. What if something bad happens to you and there is no one for you to talk with?
I am impressed thought that you do without a credit card. I know very few people who can do it. And, from what you said about your debt reduction plan, if you can do so quickly and reduce your debt fast, with interest rates as they are you should be able to get that wonderful house. Go for it!
You don't want to be pregnant anymore? Well, I do not know and sane woman who would want to be. From what I can see it is annoying at best and miserable at worst. You are close to the time when you should get your energy and some sense of self back.
You should plan to go back to Disney alone. This trip was a required one with the extended family. Next time it can just be you and Rob and the babies. Yes, it is costly, but it is so worth it to be alone.
BDay part sounded horrible. But look. You made your appearance and did your thing.
Stop busting my chops about the Poly. lol I like what I like and can't help it that the tropical theme annoys me. (I hate heat and that whole thing is associated with that kind of weather.) Yuk.
Tmm. He should disappear. He is so, well... he has a serious creep factor going.
I do think we need to start a new thread. Steven
I just wrote this really long answer and the internet dumped me. There is very spotty access here as I am using a phone system. (seriously)
I am WAY out in the woods. I can't even see another person or hear anyone. It is remote to say the least.
But I can see your posts and hopefully if I write short replies you will get them. We might need to start a new thread.
Sorry about M Day. You should have at least got a card...something that Kate could scribble on or something....sheeze.
I will try to catch you later tonight. And yes...I need to keep in touch. What if something would happen and you had no one to talk with? That would not be good. Talk to you later tonight, Steven