I'm glad to hear that you had fun, Shay! It's nice to get out of your regular routine and enjoy your birthday somewhere else.
What was your nightmare about? Was it the same as the other ones, or different?
It's good you are taking care of yourself and taking a break from church. It sounds like C understands too, he just misses you like you said.
We can start where ever you want. How have you been feeling? Anything going on in therapy? Whatever is on your mind we can work with.
Thanks for the explanation about how you handle your clients. It is different!
My weekend has been busy! I did a lot of planting for Spring which I like doing. It's fun and very therapeutic (you knew I had to say that!).
Have a good night!
It sounds like you had a good time at the dinner party. It can make it a much nicer experience if there are only a few people there rather than a crowd. That way, you get to talk with everyone and get to know others better.
I am not sure how you will separate your self blame feelings from the rest of your feelings while talking about the attack. It's pretty much a package. All the feelings you have are in response to one incident so taking them apart and separating them is hard to do. You would sort of have to repress your natural response to what you are talking about. And self blame is a big part of surviving an attack so that is repressing a lot of emotion.
That doesn't mean I don't see Linda's point of view on this. I don't want to interfere with her goals on this by assuming anything, but it sounds like she might feel that since the self blame issue is bigger than the other feelings, that she may want to address it on it's own so you can get into it better. It might be good to ask her to see what she is thinking about this. And if you feel uncomfortable about it, let her know. There is no reason that I can think of that would keep her from working on the issue at the same time you address everything else.
It is nicer not to focus on your deeper emotions for a while. And if you keep moving forward with your progress, it can be part of a natural ebb and flow of working out your feelings. The thing to be cautious of is running into resistance. It is easy to back off working on your issues if you start to feel stronger emotions, like anger or emotional pain. That is a sign that you have reached a point where you are dealing with some of the deepest parts of your emotions and fear becomes an issue. When we are afraid in therapy (or at other times in our lives), anger can become a cover, a way to defend yourself. So when Linda gets closer to the deeper feelings, putting up a defense is natural. By becoming angry, it pushes the other feelings aside, but they don't go away. That may be why you feel your emotions are hanging over you. They are there needing to be dealt with. You are also anticipating seeing Linda and continuing your work on the attack. It's going to make it very present for you even if you have pulled away from it for the past week or so.
It sounds like your field is different! I imagine that if I needed to fight in court the last thing I would need is to base it on emotions. I don't think I would get what I need that way!
Talk to you soon,
Shay, I would wait until Tuesday to see how you feel. It all depends what is most on your mind as to what you address. And two days is a while in terms of how much your feelings can change. Let's see how you feel then.
In my opinion, it would be hard to separate the self blame from the other feelings. It is just part of the experience. But Linda is the therapist so it's up to her how she approaches it. But that doesn't mean you can't tell her how you feel, and if you want to address it at the same time as the other feelings.
Ok see you there!