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It seems like the fighting serves to connect the two of you....but in a negative way. My earlier answer about devoting some time strictly to each other, having fun together, may help you two find ways to connect without fighting.
I think finding ways to connect to each other would be more satisfying to you than him figuring out a way to have sex just because he knows you want to. If he is on any antidepressants or other medication, the lack of desire may be a side effect. Look them up online to make sure there isn't a chemical reason for his lack of desire.
Human desire often has more to do with how we feel about ourselves than about the other person. Think about it this way...most women, if they don't feel good about their bodies, want to avoid sex. When they get in shape, and have good self-confidence, then their desire for sex returns. From our earlier conversations, it sounds like things haven't been going well for your husband. You are kind of running the show by earning the money that supports the family, and that's traditionally the man's role. I think things will have the best chance of changing when he's feeling better about himself. You'll know he's feeling better when he stops picking on you for little things...people only do that when they're feeling bad about themselves.
There's no quick fix for this one. Work on getting the relationship back to what it was when you were dating--at least the dynamic between the two of you. Remember what attracted you to him. And particularly find ways to connect that get the feelings flowing between the two of you without having to resort to fighting.