In response to your first question, the answer is "No." I have been in relationship with my husband for over 12 years, and I have seen, firsthand, how the lack of acknowledgement results in the continuation of issues that could initially be considered small. I have also witnessed how this same behavior has damaged relationships within his family, and am not interested in having that "legacy" continue with me and our children. In that children learn what they live, and in that a refusal to acknowledge a problem leaves little to no room to resolve it, this is not something I am willing to just "give up." I consider it an important "need" (not demand) of mine, as well as for the benefit of the future of our relationship and overall familial well being.
In light of what I've just written, there is really no option for growth/repair/healing to continue to elude us. Particularly because we are people of faith, opting to "not" grow/repair/heal is not an option. As uncomfortable as it may be, growth/repair/healing is a requirement in our lives.
If I am unable to encourage him to acknowledge there are areas that require his attention, this is a matter that will have to be included in some future marital counseling, and writing in this format will have been unfruitful (unless it eventually results in some idea/strategy that I can incorporate in private). I have heard, seen, and read enough to know that any reputable counselor will see the importance in his acknowledgement of these issues, particularly when there is a very real risk of damaging his relationships, just as his parents, and their parents before them, did
I am willing to change my behaviors, hence my initial question in this format. I am willing to do some things differently, but not willing to forego, altogether, his eventual willingness/ability to become a man who can confront issues head on and see them resolved.
I am still hopeful that you, in light of all of this additional information, will be able to make a suggestion(s) so that I may be more effective in encouraging this behavior privately as opposed to taking it to a counselors office where he will be forced to publicly deal with an already uncomfortable situation.