Hi, Going through the question.Will answer soon.Thank you
Hi,Thank you for your patience
I can understand how frustrating it is..It is not easy to deal with in laws especially if they decide to be mean to you
Yes. But i do not feel i did anything wrong in the situation.
Reading your post i think you have invited the family reunion in good faith and belief that everyone would enjoy and will be a chance to get to now each other
Sometimes you dont have to do anything wrong..It depends on the others perception and also their life style..for example if someone got used to nuclear family concept and individualized holidays they might not like it.However they should have been nice to you
So, 1.It shouldn't have happened 2.You shouldn't feel guilty as you haven't done anything wrong,if not took a brave move for bigger family union 3.You got to remember that we can not please everyone all the time
Going forward everyone is arguing and hurting each other and it needs to stop. But not only that this is something that happened last summer and it is till continuing on. I shouldn't have to go to this wedding feeling left out or not apart of the family. Also, I do not want to not speak my opinion because I feel like they would be taking my power away and that is what they want.
And I am tired of being talked down to like I do not belong because I did not come from money.
I am tired of the drama in my husbands family and I honestly do not know what else to do. It is always something with them.
you are partly true.But you need to discuss with your husband.If he requests you to attend you can BUT be clear with him and both of you come to a plan of action that cane be neutral and agreeable to both of you
I think you need to learn some assertiveness techniques
There are few things you can do 1.Remain calm 2,Ty not to enter in to arguments even with provocation 3.Be focused with your agenda..that is attend the wedding with out incidents may be to make your husband happy 4.In situations out of control let the other person do the talking 5.If the situation turns verbally abusive,put a stop to it by being assertive but not aggressive
One other most important way to avoid conflicts is visualization of different scenarios in advance and prepare to avoid them
Hi,Are you there
OK. I will try to complete the answer with some practical advice and how we usually help these situation. The usual technique is SWOT technique. It is Your Strengths(invited by your husband,he is on board with you and they dont want to upset him), Weakness (she already showed some dislike to you,so you might not be very popular, but you can anticipate this and prepare yourself),Opportunities (The wedding is an opportunity to make over things if possible,you might be able to impress your father in law as he would see that you attended the wedding despite of some issues during last years holiday), Threats(the possible threats can be arguments,criticism,being sarcastic,try to test your temper and patience). so, based on this you can make the list tailor made to you,prepare yourself and deliver the plan.
Finally I would like to recommend a self help book that might be useful. Some of my clients find this useful.It is not about your relationship with your husband but applies to dysfunctional relationship with others in the family.You might find this useful. It is called"The Verbally Abusive Relationship--How to recognize it and how to respond" by XXXXX XXXXX.