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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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I have a 3 years old boy and 1 ½ years old girl. Due to some

Customer Question

I have a 3 years old boy and 1 ½ years old girl. Due to some family situation (my brother has been in the hospital), I have left them with their mom for the past three months. I have managed to go and see them or they have come to see me almost every month. I do video chat with them on a daily basis of course. This situation may continue for six more months or so.
My wife is concerned about how this situation will affect our kids both in short and long run. Both have been asking for daddy. My wife believes that kids seem to be sad and depressed and tend to believe that me not being there is impacting their lives negatively and permanently. If true, what can be done to best navigate in such situations.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
The best solution is to be there as much as possible. Of course the children will be sad and want you around. That is actually a good sign because it means you have a good bond with them. Most likely, it is putting more stress on your wife then affecting the kids. We need to give the kids some credit that they can be resilient in this matter. I think visiting as often as possible, video chatting, telephone calls, and basically any communication you can have on a regular basis is the best you can do. Maybe they can come visit you and see first hand the situation you are dealing with. PS, send your wife some flowers every now and then to keep her spirits up.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

 

Thanks for the prompt reply. So you are of the belief that this will be transitory as far as kids are concerned. However, I will need to also focus on my relationship with my wife. Can you also elaborate a little more on what you mean by " (kids) can be resilient in this matter "

 

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 4 years ago.
It is a natural reaction to be sad when a parent is gone. However, that does not mean they will be like that forever or even that it will affect them to the point of misbehaving and not having fun. This is an adjustment for them, and as you get back into their life then the adjustment is over. This will not be a chronic problem. And yes, focus on the wife.

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