How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask DrPsychologist Your Own Question

DrPsychologist
DrPsychologist, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience:  I am a licensed psychologist with over 10 years of psychotherapy experience.
67451276
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
DrPsychologist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband has said for years that due to his diabetes he cannot

Customer Question

My husband has said for years that due to his diabetes he cannot have sex, not even with himself but I have found condoms on a few occassions over the last 6 years. He says he is not having sex with other people but that he is "trying some things". What could he be trying with condoms if this is the truth? He won't tell me what the condoms are for, only that he is trying some things. Is he lieing or cheating?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
Good morning, this is Howard,

Diabetes is a contributing factor to erectile dysfunction, that's true. For more information about this please click the link below:

http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/guide/ed-diabetes

It's hard to say what your husband means when he reports that he is "trying things." It is possible that he is lying to you or cheating. Additional evidence will be required to confirm or refute that this is the case.

Do you have any additional evidence?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

i also found a g-string at same time as condoms, he said he thinks he bought that for me a long time ago. I have never worn a g-string in my life.

I know he watches porn stuff on computer and I recently found some cd x-rated movie disk.

Is is even posslible that he "is trying some things" that he is too embarrassed to tell me about? I asked if he was pleasuring himself at some adult booth place or something.

He said that's not where I've been using them. I said then where? He said where did you find them? (knowing that I found them in his car). I said the car. The he said, oh I was gonna throw those out.

Is there any other explanation than him cheating?

Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

It is definitely possible that there is another explanation other than cheating, however, I would not rule that out at this time. Your husband is clearly being dishonest with you. He may be trying things that he is too embarrassed to tell you about, or he may be doing things which he believes you would find to be unacceptable.

I encourage you to seek marriage counseling with a licensed and experienced marital and family therapist. There are issues in your marriage that require further exploration.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

So the original question-: what other explanation? what could he be trying himself with the condoms. He has said in the past it suppose to help simulate sex (?)

"I'm tyings some things" what could those things be ? if true?

Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
Generally, condoms are used in order to avoid transmitting or being infected with a sexually transmitted disease. I suppose it is possible, however, that your husband is masturbating while wearing condoms. I'm not sure what the reason for that would be, however.

I don't know what he means when he says that condoms are supposed to help stimulate sex. This is quite puzzling. I'm not surprised that you are confused about all of this. I am confused as well!

I suggest that you speak to your husband about this again and let him know that you need a better explanation regarding the condoms.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I see you are a counselor. Could this question be referred to a Dr, some kind of sex Dr. who may be able to give me more info on "things he's trying"?
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
I will opt out so that another expert can assist you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
So will another dr be writing me or do I have to start all over?
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
Someone will help you. You don't have to start all over. Please be patient.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Would like question to be addressed to a Dr who speciallizes in sex problems, a male dr. Would like to know what other explanation there could be for my husband having condems when he says due to his diabetes he can't even have sex with himself and when I found the condoms his answer is that he is "trying some things". What could he be trying if this is true? I know he is either trying something that is too embarrassing for hime to tell me OR that he is lieing & cheating. I would like to know what things he could be trying if he is not cheating?
Expert:  DrPsychologist replied 2 years ago.
Hello. I am a psychologist specializing in trauma, eating disorders, and behavioral medicine. I will opt out if this is not helpful. But my suggestion is rather simple: Request that your husband attend a couples therapy session with you and ask him in an honest non judgmental manner. I would be happy to discuss this with you further if you would like.
DrPsychologist, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 141
Experience: I am a licensed psychologist with over 10 years of psychotherapy experience.
DrPsychologist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
he will not even discuss it with me, he surely isn't gonna agree to discuss it with anyone else. is there not a dr who specializes in sex problems that can answer my question?
Expert:  Howard Wise replied 2 years ago.
The only one who can answer your question is your husband.

Another option is to hire a detective to monitor him. You might consider that.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
DrPsychologist
DrPsychologist
84 Satisfied Customers
I am a licensed psychologist with over 10 years of psychotherapy experience.