Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.
I am sorry to hear about this major issue in your marriage.
In reading what you have written and relying on nearly 35 years of experience working with couples, this type of abrupt moving out of the house while you were away suggests the passive aggressive style that is often found in persons who are not able to deal with their feelings appropriately and act out as your husband has done.
I can see that you have been overwhelmed with the pressures of maintaining the house and it is understand that you have reached a point of extreme frustration and anger.
The fact that he has moved back into your home would indicate that it is not likely that there is another relationship in place however, he may have acted out with someone and is "protesting too much" as you have indicated in his unsolicited comments regarding being involved with someone else.
Always trust your gut instincts.
If you want to work on the marriage - you will have to get back into therapy - FAST!
If you are not certain, I strongly suggest you get a good individual therapist to help you sort out what you want to do.
I think it will also be helpful for you to define you boundaries and limits in clear and concise terms so that you can better communicate your expectations with your husband.
The following link explains this in detail and is a helpful structure which you should put in place.
Review the information and my response and follow up with me if you have additional information or feedback that will better help me to help you with this.
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