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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1486
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist.
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I have been living with a man for the last 3 years. We have

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I have been living with a man for the last 3 years. We have been waiting for his divorce to be finished so that we can get married. The ex-wife has done a magnificient job of finding obscure loop holes to keep the magic alive. Now, we are about 60 days from being totally done, and I am not happy. I am scared about the financial implications that I will have to commit to, the idea that we may have kids full-time again, and the fact that this shrew of a woman will never go away. On top of that, it seems like my significant other is less than compassionate about the stress I have been dealing with. A large part of me wants to leave, and start over. But, I love the kids. Both his and my kids get along so well, and I know that they would all be devastated. Am I a headcase about this or is this stress I am feeling legit?
It seems that you have legitimate reasons to be stressed. Blending families and dealing with ex-spouses is an extremely difficult and taxing problem. What I would say is that the things you have experienced since being with him will only continue. I don't see things getting better just because the papers are singed. What are your thoughts and concerns about the future?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
That is what I have thought as well. I have also felt that I am the one making every concession as far what we want in life. I think I have some serious thinking to do.
Does your boyfriend see any problems going on?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have communicated how I have felt with the stress. He gets extremely defensive with me and basically states there is nothing he can do, which is true. The ex has made our lives miserable at times, and she continues to just be an uncontrolled wretch. I am not sure I want to live with that for the rest of my life. My life has literally been on hold because of her. I feel so selfish at times. I want to get married, have a family, and build a home together, and I can't. I am literally frozen. He either does not see the severity of how I feel, or simply can't do anything about it, so he ignores it.

Well at the least he should acknowledge how you feel instead of dismiss your feelings.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

ok. Well, thank you for your time. I am extremely frustrated. I guess I need to really make some decisions before my life gets away from me

 

Well no need to rush to things. Take some time to lay out your goals for yourself and your family. Ask your boyfriend to do the same. See if they mesh or not. If not then can the two of you devise a plan to make it work. If you get no help or input from him then I guess you have your answer.
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