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Shay, sounds like work was a lot of fun! You do work a lot. I could not imagine putting up with the things you have to deal with, then add to it the long hours.
It is very natural to not want to feel upset, scared or even just unsettled. And even knowing it will make you feel better in the long run doesn't make it easier. But as with surgery, if you don't do it, the pain is much worse. Of course, not doing it is always an option. Many people choose to avoid therapy for those reasons. But I don't believe that you could, even as much as you want to. You are too healthy inside and your drive to get better is strong.
It sounds like some of your feelings came through in court today. I imagine it was anger, fear or frustration. It could also be partly a need to get out some of the pent up emotions you have been feeling lately. You went through a bout of depression and now you are facing your feelings from the past. And it also could be about the past. Expressing some of those feelings in a socially acceptable way (though not an approved way according t0 the judge!) is possible. What do you think?
I'm not sure what time your therapy is tonight and if it's possible to let me know how it went (or even if you will feel up to that) but I'd be interested if you want to write. I will be thinking of you.
I haven't been working the hours I should and haven't been as productive during those hours, which is why I am so flippin' behind. But that's getting much better. LP told the judge this morning that he didn't see the email string yet because at that time he was working in his garden, and he had gone straight to Court for the hearing this morning. The Judge congratulated him for apparently being the only one who has a life. The funny thing is that LP works ALL the time. He comes in super late every day, but works late in the evening every day and weekends always. He just doesn't like to admit that he has no idea how to email or use a computer, and he barely uses his cell phone for calls, even, let alone to text or email. He dictates his emails to people. LP is the one out of all of us who really does have no life. It made me chuckle.
I will try to post when I get back from my appointment this evening. It is at 5:00, and I usually don't get home until almost 7:00, but you can read it tomorrow morning.
I'm sure it will go fine.
It's good you are getting caught up. I don't like being behind in my work either so I can sympathize!
LP doesn't use email or a computer? Seriously? How in the world does he get by?
Don't worry about posting tonight if you don't feel up to it. I can catch you tomorrow at my usual time if you have time then. I just want to be sure you feel ok with how it went tonight.
Good night, Shay,