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Dwarf peach trees grow some wonderful peaches! I had one before but because I had to fix my front sidewalk, it had to be cut down :( I was very sad about that for a long time. But I had three seasons with it and I was able to pick enough juicy peaches to make delicious peach jam. I had so much I gave it away to neighbors. A great problem to have!
I agree with you, you and Dave are worlds apart. You may have attracted each other in the beginning because of how you felt about yourself. You felt you deserved how he treated you. But now that you have grown so much you no longer see why you were with him. I can see the change in you and it's amazing. Your confidence is way up, you are more sure of yourself and you take action now when before you may have not. You have grown so far apart from Dave that you two have become strangers.
On the other hand, Dave is still in the same place he always has been. He still thinks the same way and acts the same way, not realizing that you are completely different now. That shows that his focus is only on himself and not anyone else. If I notice a change in you just talking with you here, he lives with you and sees you all the time. He should notice that you have changed. But he has not. That says a lot about where his thoughts are. On himself.
I hope your attorney is able to get something going soon. It has to be hard for you to wait like this.
I would not normally recommend divorce to people I see in therapy. The best option is usually to try to work it out. But in cases of abuse and infidelity, separation and/or divorce is the best option. It's even more of imperative if there are children involved. The damage that abuse can do is lifelong. You are making the right choice, Rose. Your safety and the safety of the kids is priority. Dave's feelings are not. And after talking with you about the things you have been through with him, I could not be more sure that you need to protect yourself and the kids.
I have read about EFT but it is not something I practice. From what I can tell, it is based on alternative medicine. So far, the studies done on it have shown that benefits from this type of therapy are mostly based on placebo effects. So at this point, there is not enough reason to use it in place of traditional therapy.
Sleep well, Rose!