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Yard work on a Sunday morning? I agree with you- ughhh!
I think if Linda knows that you need her to be more forceful with you, she will make the effort. It may not be part of her personality to choose that option outright, but I'm sure she can change how she approaches you if she is aware of it.
I think where you are with your parents is a good place to be. Being angry with them would mean you felt hurt, which you may not feel right now. You may have either worked it through already, or it's in there and you haven't gotten to the point where you have accessed it. Some people experience a time when they feel extremely angry and hurt by their parents' actions. They struggle with how it could have been and why they were cheated out of a normal childhood. They mourn the loss of what could have been. Others ignore how they feel and never really come to grips with the impact of what happened to them. Some people even idolize their parents and cannot see their parents ever at fault. But you seem to be able to recognize what they did when you were a child and see how it has impacted your life. Recognizing that is what counts in your recovery.
Do you feel it would help to talk with them about how you feel? Some people feel that talking to their parents helps them work through their feelings more completely. Since the parents are usually still dysfunctional in their behavior, the response is almost always dysfunctional as well. But the act of expressing their feelings usually helps a person, even if they can't get what they want from their parents.
If your parents are changing some of their behavior based on sensing something different from you, it may be a good sign that they might be open to anything you say to them. Expecting them to have insight and to totally change might be too much, but some shift towards recognizing your feelings might occur. It's worth thinking about.
Enjoy your yard work ;)
It sounds like you are in a good place with the situation with your parents. You have thought it out and know where you stand. And if you ever want to get deeper with it you can, or you can keep your distance when you need to and protect yourself. That is great, Shay.
Let me know how writing out your ground rules works out. I think it's an excellent idea to do them now so you have time to think them through to be sure you address what you want to address.
Your safe place is with a 120 dog who flips cell phones into coffee cups and sits on people? At least you will be laughing when you take yourself there! I love it. Big dogs are great.
I still haven't had time to look up the music you suggested. Busy, busy day. But I hope to have time tomorrow. It's been on my mind all day.
Good night, Shay. Sleep well.