How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5250
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Kate, My boyfriend just said he doesnt want to continue

Resolved Question:

Kate,

My boyfriend just said he doesn't want to continue our relationshiip. He says he wants a more meaningful relationship. He doesn't want a relationship where he is treated better. I certainly am not perfect and soemtimes my anger gets displaced on him but I thought he could handle it.


I am devasted beyond belief. I am such a loser. I can't do anything right. I am so stupid and obviously demanded too much on.

I want to die. I can't take any more bad things happening to me. My life is too broken to be fixed.

I want to Die. I am not strong enough this time even if you think I do. I'm just going to put in time until my day comes to die. This way, no more hurt. I can handle the no more happiness part.

I hate what I have become. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Anxious, Tired.

Perhaps this is all I have now. Maybe this is the best it will get for me. Maybe I was to be abused and sad. I guess God is mad at me. I'm falling about.

Kathy
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.

Kathy,

 

I am sorry to hear about what happened with your boyfriend. Breakups can be devastating, and make you feel like you want to die. But if this just happened, you are going to feel pretty bad. You need to give yourself time to deal with it.

 

Every break up is going to cause you to mourn. That is because it is a loss, and if you have been together for a while, this will feel worse. You counted on the relationship for support and connection to someone. And when that goes away, you will feel the loss.

 

Learn what you can about break ups. And talk about how you feel to anyone who is supportive in your life. Here is a resource to help you:

 

http://helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm

 

You may feel very down, but this is natural. Accept that you will feel down for a while, but it will not last forever. Along with talking about how you feel, be sure to treat yourself well. Keep your diet balanced, sleep the best you can and get enough exercise. Just by exercising, you can increase your endorphines and that alone will help.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5250
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Kate,

 

We had been together for 5 years. My daughter loves him too. It is so hard for us. Plus, he was such a great support for me during all my assaults. It is probably my fault as I am going through so much and it would be difficult for another person to take that journey with me. But this means I will most likely be alone for the rest of my life. Even my daughter is getting older. That means she will be moving further away from me as well.

 

I feel I have no direction. I know break ups are difficult, and I certainly don't mean to complain, but it just seems i get more than my fair share of bad new/things happening to me. I know I should be greatful for what I have especially my daughter but right now, i just feel very very hopeless. Without hope, what is left. I am so tired of trying so hard to make my life into something.

 

I don't know if I can deal with it. i finally trusted someone and then this happens. I just don't know which way to turn. My supports are minimal to say the least.

 

Kathy

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.

Kathy,

 

It's too early to make the assumption that you will be alone the rest of your life. A break up can make you feel down, which will trigger a lot of negative emotions, including self defeating thoughts. Although it may be hard now to not globalize this experience, there will come a day when you will feel better and that is when you will understand that things will improve and you will have a chance at other relationships.

 

And your daughter may eventually move on physically to her own life, but that does not mean she won't still need you. Given the choice, people will reach out to their parents throughout their lives for support. When you are ill, who is the first person you think about for comfort? It's usually your mother (if your relationship was healthy, and sometimes even if it wasn't). Your daughter will feel the same about you. She will need you to be there for her all of her life.

 

It sounds like you are feeling lonely, which is a normal consequence to a break up. It's ok to feel this way, although it is not pleasant. But it will pass. It may help you to further develop your friendships and other relationships. Try opening yourself up to new experiences, maybe attend a group activity, or join a sport or hobby group. It may be a bit too early to cultivate a new romantic relationship, but being with others can help you heal and open you up to new experiences. It can also lift your spirits. It may also help you to feel more hopeful. It is hard to feel you have hope if your life doesn't include something to look forward to. Try to give yourself something small to look forward to every day. It will help.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5250
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education