"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears."
~John Vance Cheney
It's great that you got some time for yourself this morning. It sounds like you have symbolically put on a "new you". I know that at our age we typically do some coloring (wink, wink), but choosing this morning to do so is interesting. It's making a change, with yourself while you are making one outside of yourself. And showering for a long time can be shedding off the old you in favor of your new freedom- a clean start.
I think if your attorney knows the whole story, it makes it easier for him to make more informed suggestions for you. Hopefully, the next stage will get Dave out of the home and moving on. Are you interested in shared custody with him? I imagine that with the abuse, it will be tricky to decide what to do. Also, do you feel you will need a restraining order? So far, you have not mentioned Dave acting out so that is a good sign. But if he does actually have to leave the home, he may resort to violence to try and force you to let him stay.
It is interesting too that Dave is ignoring the letter. I am curious to see if that ends up being his response to it. A kind of "If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist" reaction, which would fit his past actions. If he does choose to ignore it, what do you feel your next action might be? Do you feel telling him a date that he has to be out by might work? Or do you feel that is too dangerous? Part of this is going to be to plan for any possible violence. He may be thinking that there is no way you can force him out. And if he is going down that path, you may need to plan for it with your attorney.
This all has probably taken a big toll on you emotionally and physically. Just your last week alone was a lot! Downtime is the prescription. Get as much as you can. Sleep, eat well and relax. You deserve it!
Talk with you later,