Hello, and thank you for the request!
I'm not sure if you have seen a therapist or had any type of treatment in the past, but it sounds like you might be depressed. Depression is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, lack of energy or motivation, thoughts of death and/or suicide and trouble concentrating. It is common to feel there is no hope and no way out.
If you have tried therapy and did not find it successful, you may want to try it again. Sometimes, it takes a few tries to find a therapist you feel can help. Just as you don't settle for the first doctor you see, searching for a therapist who is a good fit is the same. To have a better chance at finding a good therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
Medications can also be helpful to ease the symptoms but the vary in their effectiveness. Each person has their own body chemistry and what works for one may not work for another. Also, once you take medication for a while, your body becomes accustomed to it and you either need an increase in dosage or you need to try a new medication.
Motivation is a very difficult symptom of depression. It often keeps people from helping themselves and reaching out to others. But support and self help are vital in helping you overcome depression. Consider support groups, either on line or in person. People who are experiencing the same symptoms as you are can offer invaluable support, ideas and companionship to help you feel better. Also, working on your depression at home can supplement your therapy or other treatment. Here are resources to help you get started:
Once you are able to reach out, you will start to feel better. Let others support you and offer help.
Cutting yourself is a way to try to let out the pain. The best way to cope with it is to realize that once you cut, it may help you for the moment, but the feelings always come back. often worse because you can feel shame from the cutting.
Learning more about self harm can help a lot in the choices you make. Here is a site to get you started:
I hope this has helped you,Kate
It would not be better for you to just give up. It may feel that way, but it's only going to keep you where you are now. And feelings are just that, feelings. You don't have to follow them. Just accept they are there.
Motivation to get better is difficult, it is the hardest symptom to deal with. But if you can give yourself a small push every day, even if you have to take it one hour at a time, you will get through this. To avoid the hospital, try talking with others who feel as you do, on line and in support groups. Having others who understand you and that are going through the same thing can make a world of difference in how you feel.