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Thank you for your question. I can see the stress your current situation is causing you. Before providing recommendations, I have a few questions. First, other than his older brother leaving for basic training, are there any other transitions that have occurred in your 6 year old's life? What does he understand about his brother leaving for basic training? How are you and your husband handling this transition?
No there are no other changes. We have written his brother letters and have spoke to him on the phone we are going next week to see his brother graduate he seems to understand he is gone but will be back soon. I try to do things with him. and so does my husband
Thank you for your response. Have you considered using a behavoral/sticker chart for your son? If not, I can walk you through on how to implement a system
I have tried it and it doesnt seem to work
Please tell me more on how you have tried it
We have made a chart and put on the fridge. When he gets green in school he will put a sticker on the day if he gets stickers for five days he will get to go to the store and pick a toy or prize
it works for awhile and then it seems to "wear off"
how long did you do this for?
We did it for about 6 months do you think i should start back and do it again
Yes, I encourage you to start this again. In addition, my suggestion for you is to start small, with three to four days of green for the first week, 5 greens for the second week, and then 8 greens for two weeks, 12 greens for three weeks, etc
The reward for the first weeks should be small, but meaningful, such as extra play time on the weekend or ice cream
Also, inform him how he can earn "bonus" stickers as well if he cleans up his toys or do something that is praise-worthy
I just need to get thru the last 3 weeks of school i dont have problems with him at home
Great! that is a good sign if you do not have this problem at home. Do you know if he has any social difficulties at school?
no he is very social and this behavior has just started in the last month
Ok, I believe you are correct that he is missing his brother and the transition of him going to basic training may have affected him.
he is also small for his age he was three weeks early and only weighed 4 and 1/2 lbs
has he talked about how much he misses his brother?
yes he has talked about missing his brother and he is and has been sleeping in his brothers bedroom since right after he left for basic
I see...do you feel he is afraid something bad might happen to his brother?
no i dont get that feeling but this is the first time his brother has not been around in 6 years
Yes, he may be adjusting to not having his brother there daily. Do you have any other questions?
no i think that is all you pretty much confirmed my thoughts i am hoping that by going to see his brother next week he will be better
I hope so
Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Thank you so much
all the best!