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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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My 6 year old is in Kindergarten and has done well all year

Resolved Question:

My 6 year old is in Kindergarten and has done well all year up until the last three weeks of school. i an getting phone calls from the teacherhe is being disruptive and will not pay attention and listen to the teachers on the playground in class and in line at dismissal. He has an older brother that has been at Basic Training for the last 8 weeks. Could his behavior be part of his missing his brother. i dont know what to do I spank him, I have taken toys, I have tried to find out what the problem is and I some input on how to deal with him
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Brad The Therapist replied 5 years ago.

Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your question. I can see the stress your current situation is causing you. Before providing recommendations, I have a few questions. First, other than his older brother leaving for basic training, are there any other transitions that have occurred in your 6 year old's life? What does he understand about his brother leaving for basic training? How are you and your husband handling this transition?

Customer:

No there are no other changes. We have written his brother letters and have spoke to him on the phone we are going next week to see his brother graduate he seems to understand he is gone but will be back soon. I try to do things with him. and so does my husband

Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your response. Have you considered using a behavoral/sticker chart for your son? If not, I can walk you through on how to implement a system

Customer:

I have tried it and it doesnt seem to work

Brad The Therapist :

Please tell me more on how you have tried it

Customer:

We have made a chart and put on the fridge. When he gets green in school he will put a sticker on the day if he gets stickers for five days he will get to go to the store and pick a toy or prize

Customer:

it works for awhile and then it seems to "wear off"

Brad The Therapist :

how long did you do this for?

Customer:

We did it for about 6 months do you think i should start back and do it again

Brad The Therapist :

Yes, I encourage you to start this again. In addition, my suggestion for you is to start small, with three to four days of green for the first week, 5 greens for the second week, and then 8 greens for two weeks, 12 greens for three weeks, etc

Brad The Therapist :

The reward for the first weeks should be small, but meaningful, such as extra play time on the weekend or ice cream

Brad The Therapist :

Also, inform him how he can earn "bonus" stickers as well if he cleans up his toys or do something that is praise-worthy

Customer:

I just need to get thru the last 3 weeks of school i dont have problems with him at home

Brad The Therapist :

Great! that is a good sign if you do not have this problem at home. Do you know if he has any social difficulties at school?

Customer:

no he is very social and this behavior has just started in the last month

Brad The Therapist :

Ok, I believe you are correct that he is missing his brother and the transition of him going to basic training may have affected him.

Customer:

he is also small for his age he was three weeks early and only weighed 4 and 1/2 lbs

Brad The Therapist :

has he talked about how much he misses his brother?

Customer:

yes he has talked about missing his brother and he is and has been sleeping in his brothers bedroom since right after he left for basic

Brad The Therapist :

I see...do you feel he is afraid something bad might happen to his brother?

Customer:

no i dont get that feeling but this is the first time his brother has not been around in 6 years

Brad The Therapist :

Yes, he may be adjusting to not having his brother there daily. Do you have any other questions?

Customer:

no i think that is all you pretty much confirmed my thoughts i am hoping that by going to see his brother next week he will be better

Brad The Therapist :

I hope so

Brad The Therapist :

Please let me know if you have any further questions.

Customer:

Thank you so much

Brad The Therapist :

all the best!

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