Okay - well this makes some sense, actually. Before I go into what I'm thinking, I would like to thank you for being so open and honest with me. That's the most important thing when trying to figure out one's internal dynamics, especially if we intend to change in any meaningful way. It also sounds like you have a very good grasp on what you're dealing with and you're willing to put in the work - all of which is promising. The biggest problem a lot of people have (myself included) is that we often think that insight alone is the answer when it's insight+lots of behavioral effort.
So, let's see - you're first question was about when one knows if they're psychotic. In general it's described as having hallucinations, delusions (bizarre or nonbizarre) and disorganization. I can tell by the organization and structure of your questions that you are not presenting with any loose associations or disorganized thought that is typical in psychosis. The symptoms that you're describing regarding a moral compass and emotional attachment sound much more typical of psychopathy. This term is largely misunderstood and misused in popular culture and has even escaped inclusion in the DSM (psychology's diagnostic manual). The closest thing that's included is Antisocial Personality Disorder, which is also termed "sociopath."
Basically, psychopathy is largely defined as an inability to feel the same types of emotions that others feel. It is characterized by a lack of empathy, aggression, impulsivity, manipulation, etc. Psychopathy is a spectrum. Some people are low on psychopathy and others are high. People with a high level of psychopathy often have difficulty controlling their impulses and may manifest some behaviors that get them in trouble or hurt others. It is also difficult for them to feel what is classically defined as "love." However, I want to be very clear that someone with a higher level of psychopathy does not necessarily mean that they are a criminal or a social deviant. There are a lot of people out there that are high functioning psychopaths that never get in any trouble or hurt anyone. For example, Donald Trump likely has a higher psychopathy level (he would have to have no sympathy for the companies he buys out and the people he fires). Other examples might include trauma surgeons (no repulsion at blood/suffering and an ability to decide who lives and who dies). Thus, the media's portrayal of all psychopaths as being serial killers is flat wrong. They don't understand the useful applications to having less empathy, nor do they understand that it is a spectrum that all of us fall on.
That brings me to the final part of the question - if you have a higher level of psychopathy than some it doesn't surprise me that you have a slightly different definition of love either. People with higher psychopathy levels are often risk takers. The reason for this is that adrenaline-causing activities are the only ones that bring them pleasure. They simply need a higher level of excitement to make them feel joy than the average joe. Thus, when an attachment is felt toward another person a sexual longing might develop because that is the strongest and deepest form of behavior indicating love. The sexual urges may be misplaced or inappropriate, so they can't be acted on - but the feeling is completely understandable when put in terms of psychopathy. It's not uncommon actually. I hadn't mentioned it before because I didn't have the context (thank you for the additional details).
Does all of this make sense? I know I've rambled on a bit. I just want to make sure that you are reading this in the same way as it is intended. "Psychopathy" is a stigmatized label in society and it's unwarranted. I attach no stigma to it and see it as a spectrum that all of us fit into...
I look forward to your thoughts.