Were you able to give this something to them of your own free will? If not, then it was not a choice. You mentioned being scared of the bottle. Do you see the connection between the fear and the actions you took? Understanding that fear of being hurt worse can cause you to "choose" to give what they asked. That is not really a choice. It is a lesser of two evils. In that case, you "chose" correctly because it saved your life. You may not have known that at the time, but obviously you made the right choice. Most people will choose anything else but death, given a choice. Some people are never given that choice, though.
Telling you that you would never have sex again was about control. The whole thing was about control. They may or may not have noticed how much pain you were in, but because they are mentally ill they probably were not focused on it. They were focused on their own needs.
From what you told me, your parents are very judgmental. They determined what they would expect from you and never detoured from it because they probably never questioned that they were right. That is some major inflexibility there! And they judged every situation according to their own beliefs. Most people are more flexible with their beliefs.
It's great that you had other relatives to turn to for your emotional needs, and that they were so attentive to you. It probably helped you a lot.
I can see why P's sister in law's comment hurt you. Ouch, indeed! It sounds like she may have some underlying anger that is unresolved. Most people, especially ones that work helping others, would not normally be that oblivious to making such a hurtful comment about someone. Do you feel there is some jealousy involved?
No - no jealousy at all. and she was not trying to hurt my feelings. She was part kidding, but part kind of telling me what she observed. She is not meanhearted at all. We had spoken about this (kind of) before, a few months ago when she was in town, because P and I were saying that people think I think I am better than them, and P was saying she doesn't' know how they got that, and T (P's sister in law) said it could be because I lack affect, which she then had to explain to P.
I don't know T a great deal, but we have spent a lot of time together (I know P's brother much better), but the 4 of us are pretty blunt with each other. She was just saying what she thought. She is a super-nice person. She just was telling it like it is, which we all tend to do around each other. It stung because it's true - I mean, I don't really lack emotion, but I do conceal or repress it, and I can see now how it seems to other people. I would not even have given it a second thought if you and I and Linda had not been discussing my emotional repression.
But, as I said, truth hurts.
By the way - the BB gun was fun and helped get out a little frustration.
I'm going to start a new thread ....
It may be true what she said, but there are limits to how blunt you should be with someone, even if the group you are in agrees to it. There is a line between truth and bluntness because others get hurt as a result. And it is ok that you felt hurt by this. It could have been pointed out in a nicer way.
See you on the new thread!