I am 50 years old, divorced for a year and a half, and most of my relatives are angry with me. I moved back to Ohio, to the same town as my mother and brother a year ago. My brother never offered to help me move in, and has never invited me to his house since I have been here. I asked my brother to talk to me about his anger and he refused. I think he is angry because when my mother moved from her condo to an assisted living facility 4 years ago, he changed the locks on her condo and did
not let her go back in her home without him. He also moved some of her personal belongings out without her permission. At that time, I lived 12.5 hours away. When I questioned him about his actions and asked him to give mom a key, he was very angry and refused to answer my questions.
When I was going through my divorce, both my brother and mother offered no support. My ex-husband was emotionally abusive. I had not told them any of that because I lived so far away. My brother was not interested. My mother was partially deaf, so it was hard to communicate with her. When I finally explained everything to them, they did not believe me.
Now, I just found out from a friend that my cousin, who lives in Illinois, was at a bar where he was bartending and she started spouting off about what a "b" I am. He asked her to stop talking and that they could discuss me when she was sober. The thing is, I didn't even know that she was angry with me. My 95 year old aunt lives near that cousin and I have been close to that aunt (her grandmother). I suspect there might be some jealousy, but I don't know. My other cousin, her younger brother, is also angry with me about something and sent me some scathing text messages last year when I declined an invitation to his wedding because I couldn't afford to go at the time.
I truly do not know what I have done to evoke such anger. I was talking with my aunt last night about the situation with my cousins and her comment was "you should have stayed married." With that, I started crying and told her I had to go. She knows my ex and what the relationship was like better than anyone. I couldn't believe even she would wish that on me.
Of course, ever since we have been divorced, my ex has been in constant contact with my relatives. When we were married, he didn't want anything to do with any of them. He got engaged 8 months after our divorce, even though he told everyone how much he loved me and how I had destroyed him by leaving.
I am not sure how to handle all this. I suffer with major depression and this is about to send me over the edge again. What I would like to do is send a letter to each of these relatives asking to have a conversation to discuss what is wrong. Then if they do not contact me to talk, put it behind me and consider myself an orphan.