I know it doesn't feel normal to you. You have come from a background where anything you are feeling right now would have been a big no-. You would have been made to feel ashamed and made to repress all of this. So it's no wonder that you feel as you do. It is also the nature of what you are going through. Trauma and childhood issues at the same time is a lot.
Anger is a natural response to what you feel. It is a defense against something you feel is larger than you are, that might threaten you. It may also be a more acceptable defense to you. And society tends to see anger as a threat. It makes others back away, keeping you safer.
You may feel angry at me as a displacement for what you feel towards yourself or even the guys that hurt you. Or as a substitute for someone else you cannot be angry at. It also could be a way to get me to back off so I do not try to continue to help you see things about yourself and how you feel that frighten you.
Keep in mind that feelings are just that- feelings. They are important but they also can seem bigger than they really are, or even bigger than the problem. They are guided by thoughts, which is the real source of how you feel. By continuing to work with what you feel, it will make it easier to uncover and cope with. Changing your thoughts can help a lot. When you tell yourself that you are ok and that you will get through this, it can help you feel more in control.
You can also do some things to focus your energy. Grounding yourself is not only good for flashbacks but it can also help you with anger and overwhelming emotions. One of the ways to do this is to substitute what you feel like doing (like driving into a pole or cutting) with something you can do, like taking a deep breath, playing drums, etc. Each time you have a thought about doing something hurtful, think of a good coping mechanisms. We can work on this together if you get stuck.