How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Brad The Therapist Your Own Question

Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
50717502
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Brad The Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My partner has made an attempt to kill himself 2 months ago.

Resolved Question:

My partner has made an attempt to kill himself 2 months ago. he cut his own throat at both sides of his neck. He was very lucky being found in time.He was discharged from hospital after 2 weeks and is currently staying at his mothers house. i visitied him 3 weeks ago and it went quite well. When i left he told me I was his reason to wanting to recover. A few days after that he stoppped getting in touch, he won't answer texts and is generally very withdrwan, anxious and quiet. I am trying to gian an understandng what the best course of action is for me - do I kee texting him with little messages of support, am I better to back off and give hm ome space? he is on various medication and sleeping tablets but I am not sure which.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Brad The Therapist replied 2 years ago.

Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your question. Before providing suggestions, I have a few questions about your partner. Please tell me more about him. Has he shown signs of depression in the past? Is this his first attempt? How was he found?

Customer:

Hi,

Brad The Therapist :

hello

Customer:

David had a period of depression in 2010 which lasted about a year. He has not made an attempt like this before, but go as far as climbing up a tree with a rope which he put around his neck.But he didn't jump

Brad The Therapist :

what was happening in his life during 2010?

Customer:

David has also a long history of substance abuse, i.e. marihuana and alcohol. 4 weeks before his attempt he quit both substances cold turkey

Brad The Therapist :

I see...this makes sense...now after his recent attempt, he stopped contacting you after your visit? Is that correct?

Brad The Therapist :

How often have you tried to get in contact with him at this point?

Customer:

yes. he called me the evening of the visit, the next day, than a few texts and nothing since

Customer:

I've texted him almost every day, telling him what was going on, little episodes, how his animlas were and sometimes just general encouraging quotes

Customer:

about 15 times

Brad The Therapist :

and he hasn't responded at all...have you tried contacting his mother?

Customer:

yes and his mother is keeping me updtaed on his progress which is very slow but steady.small steps

Brad The Therapist :

Yes, when someone is depressed, one may feel shame and isolative, not wanting to be in touch with others. My suggestion for you is to inform your partner and his mother of your whole-hearted support for him and that you may be available for whatever they may need.

Brad The Therapist :

Ask the mother if she feels a visit by you may be helpful for him, you should pay him a visit.

Customer:

I've already done that but she said she can't really decide for david...

Brad The Therapist :

I urge you to limit the texting to once a day to show your support

Brad The Therapist :

but not to overwhelm him

Brad The Therapist :

If his mother can't decide for david, does she have concerns for his wellbeing at this point?

Customer:

That's what I'm doing as well. Haven't texted for 3 days now just to give him some space.

Customer:

No, she doens't have concerns I think for his physical wellbeing, he is eating well and seems to finally be able to sleep

Brad The Therapist :

Good, I believe texting once a day will be fine. I would continue to let him know that you will be there for him until you feel that the lack of contact is frustrating you and your patience is being tested.

Brad The Therapist :

How long have you been with david?

Customer:

about 6 month. It was very intense wiht a lot of talking and getting to know each other. we both felt that this is it, we are meant for each other. I am reaching that point of frustration and am really seeking an understanding if I am doing the right thing..and how long a period like this can last in order for me to decide if i can cope..

Customer:

I will not leave him but this waiting is driving me up the walls

Brad The Therapist :

I completely understand your frustration...I can see how it can be testing your patience.

Brad The Therapist :

You mention that David had past substance abuse issues...typically, one uses drugs to fill a void in one's life.

Brad The Therapist :

once the addiction stops, the void returns, which may help explain his attempt

Brad The Therapist :

Other than medications, is David in therapy?

Customer:

he said to me he quit it because he wanted to be a better man for me. Re therapy, I think he has a councellor appointement in a few weeks.It's difficult here in ireland when one is not privately insured and the waiting list is long

Brad The Therapist :

Yes, I completely understand...I believe the counseling appointment will do David good as he will find ways to deal with this void that he has in life.

Brad The Therapist :

In the meantime, I suggest for your to find a support group in your area for family members and significant others with mental illness.

Customer:

That is probably a good idea. Can you give me an estimate of how long these periods of no contact can last? So I can try and have a timeframe I can deal with..the worsted thing is not knowing how long..weeks? months? years?

Brad The Therapist :

Typically, medication begin to work between 2 to 4 weeks. If there are any adjustments to medications, then the time frame resets. In terms of therapy, results vary person to person from one to 6 months.

Brad The Therapist :

I suggest giving David 6 more months (although it seems long, but it really isn't) to see if he improves

Customer:

Ok. Should I ask him meanwhile if it is ok to visit?

Brad The Therapist :

Yes, I suggest asking because this is how you genuinely feel. If he does not respond, please do not take it personally.

Brad The Therapist :

In your contact with him, you can let him know that he can say "no" as well and that you will not take it offensively

Customer:

OK that is sound. Thank you so much Brad I am happy to accept this. Keep up the good work.thank you again. :-)

Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
Brad The Therapist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education